Unfortunately, there are quite a few mistakes people unknowingly make that could be keeping them from true love….or at least a movie date.

Are you having trouble meeting someone?  Then, take a look at this list and see if you are making one or more of these mistakes. Many of them are things we’ve talked about here before. Basically the point is this – make an effort. Comb your hair, get out of your house, and make eye contact. 

*You expect true love to find it’s way to your door. It’s a wonderful idea, but it’s probably never going to happen. Get out of your house.  Go shopping. Join a club. Arrange to meet some friends. 

*When you do go out, don’t travel with a crowd. It’s easier to approach someone if there’s less chance of public embarrassment in front of a group. 

*You are shy. Get over it. I bet that if I took a poll I’d find that more than half the women I ask would identify themselves as shy. It’s not fun to approach a stranger. Taking a chance is terrifying, but what do you have to lose? 

*You favor comfort and the natural look…at all times. Make an effort. It’s so simple, but when you look your best, you actually feel better.

*You live by The Rules. Take a chance. Be bold. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out.  Failure is a temporary thing. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game.

Meeting people, so much of it comes down to chance and circumstance. It’s up to you to allow yourself the opportunity to take advantage of both.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

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Still Single?

Image credit: lepiaf.geo

2. A wake-up kiss. An alarm can help them get out from under the sheets, but a morning kiss from Mom will be an even more effective alarm clock. What’s a more soothing way to start the day?

3. Write notes on the bathroom mirror. “You’ll do great today! I love you! — Mom” Before they brush their teeth or wash their face, a little note on the mirror can make their mornings even brighter. Write it on a sticky note or on a misty mirror after a warm shower.

4. Roll up the comics part of the newspaper and place it by your child’s plate. The morning funnies could help set a happy mood for the day. Why not crack a joke or two for him too?

5. Cook breakfast together — just the two of you. Choose one weekday to make breakfast together. Share conversations and laughter as you whip the eggs for your omelets and cook the bacon. It would be great to choose one day for each child, making it even more special for each one of them.

How else could you show your love so early in the morning?

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5 Morning I-Love-You’s

Image: INF

I casually read the first Twilight book and thought it was pretty good, but was not obsessed.  Then last week I read the second book in the series, New Moon, and couldn’t put it down!  I ran to the book store as soon as I turned the last page and was so saddened to find that Eclipse hadn’t been released in paperback yet.  Could I force myself to wait a few weeks to find out what happens between Bella, Edward, and Jacob?  I decided that instead of spending too much money on the book that I would read once, I would spend some time thinking about the cultural obsession with the Twilight series and why it is that adults find themselves hooked on these teenage novels.

I realize that I wasn’t too interested in the Harry Potter series because I didn’t find anything relatable in it.  I wasn’t interested in keeping track of all of the new words that the author created for the fantasy world that the characters lived in.  Where Harry Potter was about fun words and complicated magic, Twilight is about a love story.  The fantasy element is important, but I think that readers keep turning pages because of the love that Bella and Edward feel for each other.  Even though the main characters are teenagers, the love that they express seems deep and permanent.

Twilight was about Bella and Edward falling in love, but New Moon was about the heart-wrenching and confusing experience of being dumped.  I think every woman who has fallen deeply in love can relate to the pain and suffering that Bella experiences as she tries to move on with her life without Edward.  The way she describes her loss and the actions that she takes to fill the hole in her life seem exaggerated, but they are actually extremely relatable.  The confusion that is caused by her relationship with her best friend Jacob is also extremely realistic.  How many times have women been confused about a guy friend…do I love him as a friend or a boyfriend?  Am I really ready to move on?

The Twilight series was written for teenagers, but the feelings that the characters experience are definitely for adults.  You don’t have to think Robert Pattison is a hottie or have an interest in Science Fiction to fall in love with the Twilight series.  You just have to know what it feels like to love and lose and you will feel that part of you is written into each novel.

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Bella and Edward: Relating To Twilight Love

The movie is a love story about a young boy and girl, Carl and Ellie, who meet and share an obsession with becoming world explorers.  We fast forward through the simple, but happy, life that they share with the common goal of eventually saving enough money to embark on a treacherous exploration to visit the mysterious Paradise Falls in South America.  They tackle the ups and downs that come with life, living without great wealth, and we see that it is a fantastical dream of visiting Paradise Falls that stays with them through the many years of their marriage.

I think it’s a commentary on married life that sometimes there are ups and downs and there is a need for a happy, possibly unattainable, abstract concept to hold on to.  Wealth and opulence exists all around us and sometimes it’s hard to accept that maybe we just might not attain those aspirations in this life.  We just might not be the ones who get to have those experiences.  But is it still okay to dream?  Or should we forget the dream to realize the happiness that is found in the things that you do have the opportunity to experience?  Maybe we don’t need to have lofty dreams.  Maybe it’s more important to enjoy the small things in life that are wonderful and beautiful because of the people with whom we share them.

The movie has a beautiful theme of love and family relationships that runs throughout.  The young wilderness explorer, Russell, who stowes away with Carl has revealing discussions about his limited relationship with his busy father and we see the affect that it has on his attitude and spirit.  We also see the relationship between Carl and Russell as the old man learns how to be a father figure to a loving child.

I don’t want to spoil too much about the movie, so I won’t say anymore.  But I do want adults to see this film and think about the contrast between depression and happiness and reality and fantasy that are portrayed in the relationships in this movie.

Image: Disney-Pixaf

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Up: A Commentary On Relationships

While I shall still be very much a part of the Splendicity family – you can find me at EBeautyDaily, ShopaholicsDaily, and the hair channel over there – this shall be my last Blistree Relationships post.

The absolutely fabulous Kelli DesRochers will be taking my place, and she will have some fun contests coming up for you very soon – along, with, I’m sure, tons of fun relationship/sex chat!

I, however, will be sure to comment all the time with updates on my own (nonexistent) love life.

Speaking of my love life, I watched He’s Not That Into You last night…two times. (The beauties of In Demand cable!)  I realized, after the second watching, it actually ain’t all that depressing…it’s actually rather inspirational! I couldn’t help but identify with though.

And while i realize it’s six months too late to write a review of this movie, I’m writing something of  a revelation – a burst of clarity, if you will.

Basically, this is the first movie ever that I’ve seen that’s actually truly about love. As is it really is. And it’s also about dating – and the ugly truth behind it. Us women have to stop lying to ourselves. If a guy wants to call you, he will. If he likes you, he will make the effort. And if he doesn’t, that means he’s not interested.

And this seems SO obvious to me, now, after seeing the movie, and yet, simultaneously, I’m consulting my friend’s magic 8 ball for its views on if the guy who hasn’t called in two weeks is maybe possibly interested after all.

I most identified with Ginnifer Goodwin, who played a serial first-dater (by no fault of her own beyond delusional optimism.)  Gigi (Goodwin) has no defenses, gives too much, talks too much and spends a lot of time sitting by the phone.

That is me!!

And so, much like when I know that carbs are bad and yet eat a bagel, I know that I am crazy and a walking cliche, and yet…am doing nothing different. I’m inspired, but still hoping that I, too, will be the”exception”.  I wonder how any of you have responded to the movie?

Image: Sxc.hu

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He’s Not That Into You – In a New Light

It’s really interesting how, when living with your parents, you are eager to get away from them, and then as soon as you move out, they become sort of…cool.

Anyway, in another one of my blogs, I am running a contest where readers have to share their most romantic moment. My mom told my dad about it, and said she had wanted to enter, but couldn’t think of a romantic moment to share.

They enjoyed a playful banter for the remainder of the day, where they each tried to conjure up a moment. The end result was that in thirty-two years of marriage, they had not had any moments.

I think the truth is that they have a constant moment – this is a couple that after three decades, still eats dinner together every night, and watches TV together each evening, and boast that they share a pillow.

I think just that they can’t pick out a specific moment sort of suggests they are never not romantic. Or maybe I’m just biased. :-

Image: Sxc.hu

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Your Most Romantic Moment

I am a fan of Mariah Carey. It seems to me that people either love Maiah Carey or they hate her. I think she’s talented, beautiful, an individual.

I read that she’s in a movie, “Precious,”that was well-received at Cannes. The piece I read talked about how she’s not Mariah-like in the role. That she is “dowdy.”

Whatever, she still looks beautiful to me.

I watched the movie trailer and it made me cry. Not just a few tears. I mean cry-cry. At one point the title character is saying that no one loves her and she is in agony. I can remember feeling like that before and it’s horrible to feel that low. Just soul-sucking agony. I can remember feeling absolutely unlovable. Nobody should ever feel that way.

I’m afraid to watch the whole movie. It looks incredible and honestly I feel my point of view has changed just from watching the trailer, so I should see it, but it’s hard to watch that sort of raw pain. Some actors make a scene all too real. They have the ability to transport a person. The star of this movie, Gabourey Sidibe, she has that gift.

The movie is about a young woman and her relationships. I had not heard of it before today and I wanted you readers to be aware of it, to watch for it.

Image credit: SXC.hu

Trailer from YouTube

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Precious Movie – Mariah Carey

Except…

“Well, he’s really sweet, and generous, but kind of…boring.”

Apparently, my friend and this guy fell into a relationship about a week into dating. They never had the casual dating phase, but, rather, went from first date to sleepovers and having toothbrushes in each other’s apartments.

Hot?

Not.

“Most nights, we just sit on the couch side by side on our laptops and don’t even talk.”

My friend is rethinking the entire relationship, wondering if the price of achieving the comfort level has meant the honeymoon has ended before it ever even started – and while she wants to recapture the passion, she can’t actually remember it ever being there in the first place.

We know many marriages eventually become friendships. But can a relationship last if that’s all it really is to start out with?

Image: Sxc.hu

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Love Gone Lame

Here’s the problem, they don’t follow through. They talk a good game, she enjoys the time that she spends with them, but they are flakes. I don’t think that every guy under the age of 30 is a flake, but these guys, they are getting on my nerves. I kept an open mind, but last night it finally occurred that she’s better than this, she wants more than this, and I’m not going to say, “…well, age doesn’t matter,” anymore. It does matter. When it comes to the point where a grown woman wants to meet a grown man to have a grown-up relationship, then maybe hanging with the boys isn’t the best way to find a man.

Here’s what I suggested, make a firm cut-off age, refer to your list, (she’s my friend with the What I Want In A Man list), and be open to someone who might be a little older. (She’s a little spoiled by the hot young bodies, basically). Don’t settle for less than respectful courteous treatment, because then your are treading into He’s Just Not That Into You territory.

Image credit: All Posters.com

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Cougars Need Men, Not Boys

The “smell” theory deals with immune systems, with the idea that you are most attracted to someone whose system is very different from your own. This has to do with producing healthy children. Here’s something explaining it from Dr. Helen Fisher……

It’s about romantic compatibility, in this case “MHC” compatibility.  MHC means Major Histocompatibility Complex and it refers to a particular set of genes you inherit in your immune system, your body’s chemical defense system against intruding aliens, aliens in the form of bacteria, viruses and other no-good-niks.  Each of us inherits our own version of this complex set of genes. 

I will admit to running into the smell thing once. Quite a lot of years back, I dated the brother of a friend and I liked his personality very much, but his skin gave off this scent that I did not like. It was not sweat, it was the smell that came off his face, his arms, his body. I tried to talk myself past it, but I could not. It has only happened that once though and that boy, his family all came from one country, his ancestors, they all came from the same place.

My theory is this – we are becoming a world of “mutts” in that our “people” come from so many different places. My background is a mix of ancestors from all over the world. Won’t this issue with the smell and the immune systems work itself out in the end? Won’t we mix and mingle to a point where we either all like the smell of each other or all hate the smell of each other? 

What do you think?  Have you ever experienced anything like this, an inability to move forward with someone because you could not get past the way their skin smelled? 

Image credit: All Posters.com

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Love Stinks