In the essay, Andy talks about how when he assumes the role of “teacher” in a relationship, it inevitably leads to the downfall of that relationship.

I’ve had boyfriends who like to teach me things before. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.

I am the type of person who needs to read the directions a few times, who then needs to then learn by doing. I have to get my hands on it, whatever it is. I think that’s why I have problems with concepts like  finance – although I am a whiz at personal budgeting. If I had a model of the world and the banks and lots of little play money, I could probably figure it out.

My boyfriend hasn’t had the opportunity to teach me much yet.  Well maybe a couple of things and one thing that he was shocked that I didn’t know how to do already. He’s fairly patient with the teaching, but in conversation he has said a few things that if we were in person and not communicating over the phone, I would probably have felt like smacking the back of his head.

For example, one time he said, “You cannot be that naive.”  This was in a conversation where we were both being rather naive, if you really get down to it. Or naive in that when people write or say things, we tend to believe them because neither of us makes a habit of lying.

I do like to have a man show me how to do something. I’ve learned that they enjoy being needed, so I have no problem with saying, “I don’t get this, would you please show me how it’s done.” Plus, I like to learn new things.

Once, I had a boyfriend who was very arrogant, very much an I-know-it-all type. My brake light was not working. We took a look at it and tried to find a replacement. There was no replacement at the first store that we looked it. We looked at the light again and noticed that it was full of water. Hhmm. Interesting.

For some reason, he stopped there.

We went home, I got some tools, I went out to my Mom-van and took the light apart. I turned it upside down, poured the water out, put it back together. It worked again. (Now I park farther under the carport to avoid further leaks).

The interesting thing to me was that when it looked like it wouldn’t be a quick fix, Mr. Arrogance just walked away. It ceased to matter or possibly to exist to him. It took me, Ms.The Only Way It’s Gonna Get Done, to take care of my own problem, because Mr. Arrogance noticed that something more interesting was on Fox News.

My point is this, a man may have a lot to offer and then again he may not. Don’t depend on them to teach you. Teach yourself. When I fixed that light on my own, with no help from my ex, I felt 10 feet tall.

This also goes for setting up your stereo system, your dvd, your home theater system, carrying heavy stuff, putting together a computer desk kit. Just do it yourself. It will feel great.

Image credit: Chase Your Bliss Photography

Post from: Blisstree

Teaching, Learning, Doing It Yourself