Since I got the cookbook gig I have been writing until late at night, trying to meet deadlines with that while at the same time trying to keep up with my editorial duties at LoveToKnow Antiques, and my writing across the subjects there (normally 24 or so articles a month), my writing on homesteading and green issues at Hubpages, and my four blogs here at b5…Plus the various freelance gigs that I am offered here and there.  Don’t get me wrong..it is a wonderful blessing, especially since Marc lost his job because of his disability.  I get …read more

One of the books in my extensive library that I really love is For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn.
You don’t think my library is extensive? HAH! I have floor to ceiling bookcases in the dining room, two large book cases in the reception parlor AND floor to almost ceiling bookcases that line the upstairs hallway. And the ceilings are something like 10 or 11 feet..or so…whatever.

In our church meeting last night we were reading First Corinthians. It’s a long letter, and in one section the author, Paul, gives some advice about marriage. Some of what he says is a bit odd if for no other reason than its distant context. Sex, for example, was a common aspect of worship in the pagan temples of ancient Corinth. It was also an era of arranged marriages and betrothals, an era of high patriarchy, and an era in which slavery and indentured servitude were common and accepted. It was very different from modern, Western culture.
Still there is a …read more

I’ve finished Marriage: a History, and no doubt it will inform my thinking and writing for some time to come. For now, I want to give you an extended quote from the conclusion.
The historical transformation in marriage over the ages has created a… paradox for society as a whole. Marriage has become more joyful, more loving, and more satisfying for many couples than ever before in history. At the same time it has become optional and more brittle. These two strands of change cannot be disentangled.

Congrats to Erin Gee, who is the winner of last week’s book giveaway. Her definition of marriage:
A very wise friend once told me that marriage is the three C’s. Commitment, communication and compromise. I like to add caring, crazy and the occasional good cuss to that list!
Thanks to all who entered, and be sure to keep an eye out on our Big Purge 2008. I’m betting there will be a couple more giveaways in the next couple weeks.

After all of the comments from last week’s Bloggy Giveaways, I could get use to all the voices around here. I hoping a few of you will come back and leave a comment here.
To entice you, I’m going to offer up a book. I mentioned that I’ve been reading Marriage: a History, and it has been fascinating. So, I’m going to buy one of you a copy. All you have to do is take my challenge.
The challenge: Define marriage.
That’s it. The rules:

The contest is open all week. Leave your definition as a comment by 11:59 PM EDT on Saturday, May …read more

Deborah at Books Movies and Chinese Food is giving away a marriage book. Generation NeXt Marriage, by Tricia Goyer, aims to tackle the unique challenges Generation X faces when it comes to having success in their marriages. Five quick hits:

Gen Xers saw more divorces than successful marriages.
Without role models, many GenXers turned to music, movies and television for examples of healthy relationships.
Our teen relationships were intense and often included sexuality, leading to intense breakups and the resulting baggage.
Gen Xers were starved for quality time, so they appreciate balance.
Gen Xers were labeled the “slackers” and the “grunge” generation.

I haven’t read the …read more

I came across a book that looks quite interesting, Marriage, a History, by Stephanie Coontz. This is from the book jacket:
Marriage today is held up as a blissful haven of love and friendship, sex and stability. We long for the gold standard, the traditional marriage, but marriage turns out to have a checkered past. This real look at what people think of as “traditional” finally explains why so many people are so anxious about marriage.
In this groundbreaking book, award-winning historian Stephanie Coontz takes us on journey from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the sexual torments of Victorian lovers …read more

OK, I’ve got the next book lined up for review here at Marriage Actually, but it’s gonna have to wait until late December or early January. I’ve got an accreditation exam coming up in a couple weeks, so unless you want to hear all about 401(k) nondiscrimination testing it’s better for you if I don’t blog about my current reading material.
But I’ve only got one marriage book on the nightstand. I’m sure I’ll come up with something, but I want to put out a call for suggestions and recommendations. Anything you’ve heard about and want me to read? Anything you’ve …read more

The library says I can’t renew Marriage Fitness any longer, so it’s time to finish up the review. Onto Step #4 – Save Yourself. “Save Yourself” is the most overtly sexual of all the Steps. Step #2, Give Presence, brushes up against the issue in the context of giving gifts that have meaning and value to your spouse, but Step #4 tackles the issue head on.

Fertel doesn’t waste time talking about how or how often a husband and wife should have sex. Instead he gets to the root issue of our unavoidable attraction for other humans. Call it design or …read more