Tiffanie Wong is a newlywed who writes a blog called My Husband Is Annoying. Within the blog she shares her experiences with husband, Mark Joyella.

Some of his annoying traits appear to be his tendency to continually wear a particular green sweater, his over-use of a fake (bad) Irish accent, his love of fart jokes, basically the usual annoying man stuff. 

Sometimes she gets negative feedback from readers who don’t understand why she’s not writing about newlywed-ed bliss, but Wong prefers to keep things realistic. The entries are not attacks. They are light-hearted and I get the feeling that if something was really bothering her, she’d talk to him about it and not the blog.

Annoying or not, Wong loves Joyella and that should be obvious to anyone who reads the blog, because it’s about all about him. I think a sign of trouble would be if, her blog was called something like, My Hot Doorman Is Annoying. Mark is a fan of the blog and apparently has veto power on both posts and photos.

Tiffanie Wong had this to say in an interview with Lemondrop;

“I love him because of his wacky, offbeat sense of humor; because he’s one of the smartest people I know and also one of best people I know.

“But mostly I love him because he totally gets me, loves me for exactly who I am and no matter how annoying I may be, he’d never write a blog about it!”

We had to check in with Mark on that one, and he agrees: “The cool thing about our relationship is we enjoy each other’s dorky quirks and laugh together about them. That’s why I like the blog.”

I think My Husband Is Annoying is a celebration of those quirks. I know that in my relationship, the things that I treasure the most about my boyfriend are the goofy parts of his personality. Our quirks and goofy habits are the things that make us unique. They are what make a person an individual.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

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Her Husband Is Annoying

The movie is a love story about a young boy and girl, Carl and Ellie, who meet and share an obsession with becoming world explorers.  We fast forward through the simple, but happy, life that they share with the common goal of eventually saving enough money to embark on a treacherous exploration to visit the mysterious Paradise Falls in South America.  They tackle the ups and downs that come with life, living without great wealth, and we see that it is a fantastical dream of visiting Paradise Falls that stays with them through the many years of their marriage.

I think it’s a commentary on married life that sometimes there are ups and downs and there is a need for a happy, possibly unattainable, abstract concept to hold on to.  Wealth and opulence exists all around us and sometimes it’s hard to accept that maybe we just might not attain those aspirations in this life.  We just might not be the ones who get to have those experiences.  But is it still okay to dream?  Or should we forget the dream to realize the happiness that is found in the things that you do have the opportunity to experience?  Maybe we don’t need to have lofty dreams.  Maybe it’s more important to enjoy the small things in life that are wonderful and beautiful because of the people with whom we share them.

The movie has a beautiful theme of love and family relationships that runs throughout.  The young wilderness explorer, Russell, who stowes away with Carl has revealing discussions about his limited relationship with his busy father and we see the affect that it has on his attitude and spirit.  We also see the relationship between Carl and Russell as the old man learns how to be a father figure to a loving child.

I don’t want to spoil too much about the movie, so I won’t say anymore.  But I do want adults to see this film and think about the contrast between depression and happiness and reality and fantasy that are portrayed in the relationships in this movie.

Image: Disney-Pixaf

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Up: A Commentary On Relationships

Image: Zuma Press

I didn’t really know what to expect when I started this movie, but I have to say that I was extremely impressed.  The movie uses the art of conversation to expose insecurities and confusion that arise in a marriage.  I felt that the film was almost Shakespearean in the way that the archetypal characters delivered heart-wrenching monologues expressing frustration and confused emotions.  The characters and their interactions were truly brilliant.  A mentally ill neighbor pops in at key moments and delivers lines of brutal honesty to the couple about the lack of truthfulness and happiness in their relationship.

Although the movie is depressing in its portrayal of married life, it does expose the real challenges that men and women face when they find themselves trapped in a life of mortages, child-rearing, monotonous work days, and household chores.

If you are in a serious relationship, I strongly recommend watching this movie with your significant other or spouse and having a conversation about it.  Your reactions to the characters may bring ideas to the surface that would be worthwhile to discuss.  The movie brings up issues about the difference between male and female roles in a family and the contrast between emotional detachment and complete expression of extreme emotions.

Just as the characters in Revolutionary Road struggle with communication in their relationship, I encourage movie-watchers to explore the best ways to communicate with their partner in order to understand and help one another when they are going through a difficult or transitional period.  Successful communication is the key to a healthy and balanced relationship.

Revolutionary Road is now available on DVD.

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Revolutionary Road: Relationship on Film

Today Brett told me that they were all coming down on him. The girls were cranky all weekend, his Grandma was in tears just before work, and he and his wife had a “major blow-up” first thing in the morning. Brett likes to live a simple life. He takes care of his Grandma and his family, he works a few part-time jobs a day, and he’s been riding his bike all over town in an attempt to save on fuel costs. His wife, he can’t talk her into biking and it’s been a sore spot for them lately. She likes to do things like go out to lunch with her girlfriends. She also likes margaritas, but their blender is broken – I’m serious, this is something he has mentioned a few times, she really, really misses those margaritas. I say break down and buy a new blender – margaritas for some peace, man.

Brett is feeling a bit put upon. He said this to me today, “I have no faults. No bad habits. I don’t drink or smoke or gamble………” He also said this to me, “I told my wife, ‘we’ve been married for 15 years and we have the same fight over and over. We say the same words. We make the same points. The same fight. Over and over. I’m tired of this, I want to…..’” Here’s where I think he’s going to say something along the lines of “a break,” “a divorce,” something that signals that he’s had it, because he is very upset, but he doesn’t say that. Instead, he says he wants an end to the fight, he wants to solve the problem. This man, he would never think that of a break or leaving his marriage. He is married for life. He really doesn’t have any faults.

When I have a problem, I want out of the problem and too often that the way out of the problem is just plain out of the situation. I give up too easily. I think that in my relationship, some things need to change, but I think I need to stop looking for that handy door to freedom every time I get pissed. Even if this relationship does not work out, learning to dig in and see something through would benefit me in other areas. I need to lose a few faults, maybe be more like Brett, but with a working blender, because I really, really love my margaritas.  

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I Know A Man With No Faults

Recent headlines would have us believe that the marriage of today is full of strife and adultery. The headlines are full of the famous folk, but what about the common man and woman?  Are their marriages faring any better?

According to a poll entitled The Truth About American Marriage sponsored by PARADE Magazine, married life in America is not too bad.  

In fact, marriage seems to be working quite well for most of the people we surveyed: About 88% said they were happy or reasonably content in their marriages. Only 12% ranked their marriages at the bottom of the scale, in the range between “It’s miserable” and “I wish I could get out.”

Among people who stay married, 71% say they deeply love their partner and 73% are there for the companionship.  About half of the couples surveyed say they are happy, that their unions are “loving and joyful,” and a third say they are peaceful.  The unhappily marrieds are in the 7% slot. 

Men are most satisfied with married life, with only 30% saying they’ve considered leaving their wife.  Woman are not quite as happy – half of the wives have contemplated leaving. (I remember contemplating divorce the first week of my marriage).   

Married Americans fight about pretty much what you’d expect them to fight about – money (43%), who takes out the garbage (27%), and sex (22%). A full 56% say they communicate well and less than 1% say that fights “turn physical.” 

For more information about the survey, you can read the entire article at The Truth About American Marriage | PARADE Magazine.

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Are Americans Happily Married?