*Funny
*Kind
*Strong
*Loyal
*Sexy
*Open-minded
*Likes kids
*Smart
*Patient
*Tall
*Between the ages of 37 and 45
*Some gray hair
*Smells good
*Values family

That is an excerpt from my list. I started with the bare bones, then I thought, “Funny, but also able to be still and quiet, because I need some peace, too.”

I can remember reading about a love spell of sorts where you make the list, then burn it and send it out into the Universe which may or may not be something that you’d like to try. Any excuse to buy a new scented candle works for me.

My friend, Scarlett, she sent me her list in an email awhile back. She had, “Man who reads,” on there. Oh, yeah, I thought, that would be wonderful, but I was worried that by putting that on my list, I’d be asking for too much. Within hours, I signed onto Facebook, where I saw that my old friend, a friend I felt crush-ish about, was talking about books. Hot damn, I thought, I’m hooked!  A man who reads – not too much to wish for, at all.

Try the list idea. Burn it, hold onto it, revise it, whatever. The purpose is to examine exactly what you’d like to find in a partner. My theory is this – you are less likely to allow the wrong one to run you around if you have some idea of what the right one will look like.

Here’s an excerpt from Scarlett’s list:

*TEETH–the first thing I see when I look at a guy
*Color eyes, hair and all that are just part of the package so I would say it is their body language, smile and personality that makes them attractive to me.
*They do need to be in good shape too. 
*Nice ass is good too but with the baggy style jeans you really can’t tell until they are naked and then it is too late–usually hooked on the person by then…
*Now for the heart of the matter, reader (more than magazines), thinker, kind, considerate, financially responsible (do not have to be rich or a sugar daddy) no couch potatoes or total lets-watch-every-sports-show-on-TV either.
*Must like the outdoors
*Occupation does not matter
*Must be in touch spiritually and like to socialize and travel…….

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

What Is On Your Man List?

*Push-ups – Men need good upper body strength to support themselves in the missionary position.  Push-ups build muscles and help increase endurance. They don’t mention it, but the yoga position known as The Plank would also help here. Lean forward with forearms along the floor, hands in fists, feet bent down, toes on floor. Lift mid-section off the floor and support your weight on forearms and toes. Try to keep your body in a straight line, butt tucked in, not poking out. Hold for as long as you can, work up to 1 minute at time. Works your arms and core.

*Pelvic Tilts – A long time favorite of women, pelvic tilts help to increase control in pelvis region. A tilted pelvis helps a man to position himself for better friction for the woman in the cowgirl position. Lay on your back, bend knees, feet on floor, lift butt up off the floor, toward the ceiling, hold for 2 seconds, return to floor. You are trying to lift everything, except your feet and shoulders off the floor.

*First 1/2 of a Clean Lift – To support your lady in a standing position, you need leg and upper body strength. The first half of a Clean Lift works well here. Put a barbell or dumbbells in front of you. Bend your knees, pick up weight(s) with hands facing opposite directions, shoulder width apart. Straighten up, keeping back and head straight. Pause, lower the weights back down. Do 3 sets of 15.

*Shrug – The wheelbarrow requires strong shoulders and back. A shrug move helps to strengthen this area. Hold a dumbbell in each hand. Stand straight, lift shoulders only, as high as possible, keep arms straight, pause, then lower. Do 3 sets of 8-12.

*Cardio- Any sort of cardio increases endurance and gentlemen, I’m sure it’s no surprise to learn that the ladies appreciate it when you are able to take your time.

Image credit: All Posters.com

Post from: Blisstree

Men, Exercise, and Sex

“They looked so pretty…but later I realized, they smelled really bad.”

I wonder if that may be symbolic of the mistakes ALL of us keep on making in our relationships…going for the guys that are wrong for us, and are bad for us, but yet, we are attracted to anyway.

Why do we insist on doing this to ourselves???

I’m sad. Sad for me, sad for everyone in a situation where they know they need to search for something better, and yet keep on getting hung up on the same bad choices, time and again.

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Men vs. Dogweed

The truth is, it’s not. What does it mean to be a man today? What can a man do to improve his relationships?

Recently, Elliot Katz, author of Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants, was posed this question during a television interview – the answer sparked great insight. We share some his thoughts here!

Show leadership
One of women’s biggest complaints is that men don’t show their share of leadership in the relationship. When a man sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it. People admire those who step forward to handle difficult situations – and don’t wait for others to solve the problem.

Make decisions
To avoid accusations of being controlling, a lot of men have gone to the other extreme – they leave most decisions to their wives. A man needs to make his share of decisions and take responsibility for the outcome. To many women, a man who avoids decisions is shirking his responsibilities. One of the meanings of the word “manly” is being decisive.

Take responsibility
Take responsibility for improving the situation. Don’t blame others. There is little sympathy for a man who blames a woman – even when he thinks she pushed him into it. People will say, “You’re the man. Why did you let it go on?” One of the meanings of the word “husband” is someone who skillfully manages his household. Managers take responsibility.

Image: Amazon

Post from: Blisstree

Three Things Your Man Needs to Know

Last night, all of us lovely ladies went to Gypsy Bar (in the Borgata) for tequila tasting, and after that, clubbing at the very exclusive mur.mur – while we were there, a super mysterious tendency unveiled itself.

One of us, married for fifteen years, was absolutely FLOODED with male attention. Another, in a serious relationship, was too receiving declarations of love.

Us single girls? Interestingly enough, we were the ones either talking to OTHER girls, sipping our vodka-sodas, or staring at our phones to see if some unseen-other boy would call.

What lesson can we all learn from this experience? Men are beasts. They are attracted not to what is available, but to who seems uninterested, happy, and not to be paying attention to them. My married friend told me she actually never calls her husband when she’s away on trips – and it keeps their relationship “mysterious and sexy”. Why then must us single girls call/email/text our interests nonstop? And then be depressed when/if they don’t answer?

Lets learn from those who succeeded. Men do not like what is in front of them. They want to chase, and capture. Let them chase you – and you will finally (maybe) get caught.

Or I can be totally wrong. I’m the one sleeping alone in a giant gorgeous hotel room. Sigh.

Image: My ladies and I at the Gypsy Bar. We don’t necessarily have men…but we do have tequila!

Post from: Blisstree

The Thrill of the Hunt

I wrote a post a few months ago, Redeeming Men, talking about how my goal is to not screw my son up.

So, a friend of mine emailed me and said, “Do you know any good, kind, compassionate men? Your anger is coming out in your writing. It’s emotionally destructive to you.”

Duh. Hate that.

Angry writing on a women’s website. It’s just too easy. It reaches a certain audience, (other angry women for sure), but I have too much respect for my craft. I’m too ambitious.

Also, I just got bored. With the anger itself and with talking about the anger. It’s futile. It’s unproductive. It’s not getting me what I want. I want to move forward.

I knew there was something, or a multitude of somethings, a string of pasts, that I was holding onto.

My friend, Jennifer, invited me to a Discovery Training in Dallas this weekend. God usually puts what I need right in front of my face.

I won’t give you all the details. Because you might decide to go one day (you should) and I wouldn’t want to ruin all the beautiful, delicious and glorious surprises. I’m hoping to pack my sweet husband off to a training next month so we can get on the same page.

But, I will shout out to every single man in that room.

THANK YOU!!!!

Thanks for showing up for me. I’ve been wondering where all the heros were. Frankly, I was getting a little worried for humanity as a whole.

But, this weekend you showed up for me – for women, for your wives, girlfriends, mothers, and daughters – and I don’t feel like I have to do your job anymore.

After this weekend, I know the quality of my mothering a son is going to be different – much better. I’m going to be a different kind of wife.

I’m going to establish some boundaries, and I think I can do that without anger now.

The quality of my writing is going to be better.

You were right, my friend, it’s time to get over it.

I’m so totally over it. Look who’s been waiting for me. Blessings come in such perfect packages.

Post from: Blisstree

Get Over It!