In July 1993, after a tumultuous relationship filled with emotions from each end of the spectrum and everywhere in between, C. Comfort Shields’s college boyfriend and first true love, Ben, drove from Washington, D.C. to Maine and shot himself in the head, completing the suicide he’d been flirting with since she met him 18 months before.

What Shields didn’t really know at the time, however, was that the 18 months she knew Ben was just the tail end of a mental hurricane that had spiraled so out of control no amount of love from anyone could have kept Ben alive. How does one compete with an army of prostitutes, years of troubled family relationships, and deep insecurities and confusion galore?

There comes a point when a person’s only hope for life is his will to keep breathing, and Ben just didn’t have that will anymore.

Surviving Ben’s Suicide: A Women’s Journey of Self-Discovery is exactly what the title suggests. It’s the memoir of a woman who doesn’t just survive the suicide of a loved one, but who also grows along the way and becomes more aware of herself, her abilities, and all the things over which she has no control. And, while the journey of self-discovery is never truly complete for any of us, Shields is one of the lucky few who has grown enough to realize her past is an assortment of valuable experiences and memories – some crystal clear and others a bit out of focus – from which she can find guidance but in which she should never remain for too long.

Naturally, Shields experiences a montage of emotions after Ben’s suicide. Like many survivors, she feels somewhat responsible for Ben’s success at killing himself. She wonders if there were anything she could have said or done differently to prevent his death. Shields is also angry, comparing Ben’s exit to the accidental death of her high school friend and wondering why Ben would choose to take his life when her friend’s had been unwillingly taken from her.

She also feels a bit “left out,” as she was Ben’s girlfriend (not his wife), and not only struggles with Ben’s family’s decision to keep some things private from her, but also struggles with finding resources geared toward people who’ve lost girlfriends and boyfriends to suicide.

As the years pass, however, Shields begins to use her experience with Ben and his suicide to handle new situations. She realizes she can’t “save” a depressed friend she suspects may be suicidal and actually backs out of the friend’s life to allow the girl to seek professional help. And, when she almost loses her first son in delivery and does lose a twin during her second pregnancy, she understands even as a mother she can’t fully protect her children or be completely responsible for their development.

Often times we must rely on help from professionals, and sometimes even they can’t control or fix everything.

Reading Surviving Ben’s Suicide is akin to picking up the phone or sitting down to coffee with a friend you haven’t seen in a long while – a friend who’s experienced some pretty intense things in your absence. From the day she meets Ben to the day she marries her husband, Shields covers various time periods in her memoir, informally blending them all together to tell her story. I am very glad I listened.

To learn more about C. Comfort Shields and Surviving Ben’s Suicide, visit ConfortShields.com.

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Post from: Blisstree

Book Review: Surviving Ben’s Suicide

Tickets to the Broadway revival of Equus at Broadhurst Theatre in New York go on sale today at 10 a.m. Equus will run from September 5, 2008 until February 8, 2009.

Peter Shaffer wrote the play Equus in 1973 after hearing about a real-life case in which a 17-year-old boy blinded six horses in town near London. Shaffer didn’t know any details about the crime, but Equus is a fictional account of what could have caused the crime.

In other words: Equus isn’t what happened; it’s a play based on Shaffer’s imagination of what could have happened. It’s a story.

In Equus, a psychiatrist (Martin Dysart) tries to treat a disturbed 17-year-old (Alan Strang) who has a “pathological religious/sexual fascination with horses.” To my understanding, Dysart winds up feeling less-than-good about his sessions with Strang, and even ends up questioning himself, his profession, and his life throughout the play.

While I’m always interested in psychiatry-related things here at Mental Health Notes, additional interest comes in the form of Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths who are once again portraying Equus characters Alan Strang and Martin Dysart, respectively. (They portrayed both of these characters in last year’s Equus performances at London’s Gielgud Theatre, too.)

This is additional interest, because Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths both portray Harry Potter and his uncle, Vernon Dursley, respectively, in all of the Harry Potter film adaptations.

And I’m a Harry Potter junkie.

I wonder if Griffiths as a psychiatrist will employ the ol’ cupboard under the stairs method of keeping Radcliffe as a troubled teen away from the horses, hmm?

As you can tell, I’ve never seen Equus. But, if you’ve seen it, or plan to see it, share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Post from: Blisstree

Daniel Radcliffe And Richard Griffiths Star In Broadway’s Revival Of Equus

Here at Mental Health Notes, I try to write about happy things as often as possible.

Sure, I gripe. I’ve been known to tell off Representatives and mental health care workers I don’t know from states I’ve never been. And yes, I even poo-poo on progress for the sake of progress sometimes and roll my eyes at strangers and remind folks that – statistically speaking – stigma is stupid.

I mean, come on. I hand out A.S.S. Awards.

I admit that, when it comes to the world of mental health, there are still so many hurdles to jump. It’s enough to make a girl cranky from time to time. But, I’m not moody all the time. I have been known to spread some applause around where it’s warranted. Remember LiveJournal? Remember Boston Legal?

Remember Wentworth?!

Yeah, who could forget him.

So, now I’m asking you, lovely readers: What kind of good mental health news do you have to share? It could be anything from learning how to better manage your anger to finally finding the perfect therapist. Whatever it is, I want to hear about it, so feel free to share your happy mental health news in the comments!

Image: SXC

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Have GOOD Mental Health News To Share?