When I saw a link to an article by Deepak Chopra, Triggers for Stress, in one of my Care2.com newsletters last week, I thought the article would talk about common triggers for stress, and maybe offer a few suggestions on how to manage stress.

Instead, Chopra uses the article to point out that because everyone has different stress triggers, helping someone manage stress is a more complicated task than just offering up a list of stress management tips. Chopra also discusses the idea that this “task” is even more complicated because we all have reactions to stress based on our own past experiences:

Management of stress therefore turns out to be much more complicated than is generally supposed, because a person’s interpretation of any situation is basically projected from his memory–our reactions to new situations are always colored by our experiences in the past.

How are we supposed to go about managing our stress? According to Chopra, we need to “neutralizing these old impressions” and “apprais[e] each new situation afresh.”

Well, that makes perfect sense to me. Instead of freaking out when I’m faced with a situation that once caused me aggravation, despair, loss of income, feelings of hopelessness, etc., I should assess the situation as a new situation – rather than a continuation of a previous situation – and tackle it from there. That way, the stress from the previous situation doesn’t carry over into my reaction to the new situation.

Right? Does that make sense?

Of course, I don’t think that means we shouldn’t draw upon certain reactions to past experiences in order to manage current, similar experiences. We learn from the past, after all. We learn from both our triumphs and our mistakes.

So, what about you? How do you manage your stress and stress triggers? Do you continue to react the same way to stress triggers, time and time again, or do you make efforts to “neutralize” your old reactions in order to tackle each new situation as a new situation?

Image: SXC and Shane Knight

Post from: Blisstree

How Do You Manage Your Stress and Stress Triggers?

The ninth step of the 12 Steps reads:

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Like the second step (and pretty much all the steps, when you get down to it), the ninth step can also apply to people with mental health issues.

Need proof? Reread my personal story at Can A Power Greater Than Yourself Restore You To Sanity? and then realize that I had to make amends with everyone I’d lied to, deceived, ignored, etc. during that time. My parents, my sister, my then husband, my best friends – once the dust settled, I had to face them, apologize to them, and make amends.

Keep in mind that when you’re apologizing and making amends, a mumbled “sorry” doesn’t really cut it (Mark addresses this at Made Direct Amends). Even in the case of mental health situations, a quick “sorry” may clear your conscience for the time being – and let the people know you’re aware of your behavior and how it affected them – but it shouldn’t be the end. Once you’re on the road to becoming healthy again, such as seeking treatment, taking medication, making lifestyle changes, learning about your mental health – whatever your road is – you should offer a sincere apology and try to make amends.

Do I think it’s necessary to apologize and try to make amends with every single person you wronged when you were in the throes of mania, depression, or psychosis? No. That list of people could go on and on, and your mental health is still your business, after all. The Wal-Mart greeter who received a dirty look from you, for example, doesn’t need to know your personal business. Maybe you should just smile at her next time.

However, I do think that in cases that involve close, personal loved ones – loved ones with whom you’d like to maintain a good relationship – it’s a pretty good idea. Maybe you borrowed obscene amounts of money from your parents to get you out of a jam, such as a jam caused by your impulsive shopping. Maybe you ignored your best friend’s phone calls for months at a time because you were too depressed to answer the phone, much less meet up with her for lunch. These are the situations in which you need to offer sincere apologies and try to make amends.

You may not have meant to hurt these people, but chances are, you did. Make it right.

For more information about the ninth step – including apologies, making amends, and regaining trust – check out the following posts by Mark:

• Ninth Step Promises
• Trust Takes Time
• Honesty – But To What Extent?
• Oh No! Personal Relationships!!!
• I Am Responsible
• Do Not Make The Crosses Of Others Heavier

This post is part of the b5media Health & Wellness Channel’s recognition of the National Alcohol and Drug Awareness Month. To read more, please visit
b5Media Salutes National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month.

Image: SXC

Post from: Blisstree

Should You Make Amends With Those You’ve Wronged?

On this day (September 19) in 1982, Scott Fahlman posted the very first “emoticon” to a computer-science department bulletin board at Carnegie Mellon University.

According to Wired.com, the message went like this:

19-Sep-82 11:44 Scott E Fahlman
From: Scott E Fahlman

I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers:

Read it sideways. Actually, it is probably more economical to mark things that are NOT jokes, given current trends. For this, use:

And, according to Mark Stibich, Ph.D. at About.com, not only does smiling make us attractive, boost our immune systems, lower our blood pressure, and make us appear younger and successful, smiling also changes our moods, relieves stress, releases serotonin, and helps us stay positive.

So, whether you love ‘em or hate ‘em, there’s no better day than today to send someone a smiling emoticon.

Image: www.xoospace.com

Post from: Blisstree

Send Someone A Smile Today!

Tips for Returning to Work

After having been on medical leave for 12 months, I returned to work. I remember feeling awkward about what I would say, and how I would manage. After all, I hadn’t been on vacation – I’d been through a difficult episode of major depression. Coming back turned out to be very successful, and I would like to share with you some the things that helped my return to work go smoothly.

1. Start slow. I returned to work part time (30% at first, then increasing to 60% when I was ready). My long-term disability plan has a specific program designed to help you return to work slowly. The income you earn is deducted from your monthly benefit, thus allowing you to have some regular sick days – depression doesn’t make you immune to colds and flu, after all. People returning to work after a long medical absence usually have no sick days accumulated, which can be daunting.

2. Take ownership of your information. The specifics of my illness are details that I can choose to share with co-workers or not. I chose to tell a few key friends at work about my illness, but that was it. There is no rule saying that everyone needs to know your business. In today’s information age (think Facebook, Twitter, blogging, tabloids), we sometimes forget that privacy is still an human right. It’s okay to keep stuff to yourself.

3. Rehearse what you want to say to people. In group therapy, I was directed to rehearse what I would say to people when I got back to work. I had a chance to come up with some strong yet vague answers for any nosy nellies who might catch me off-guard with personal questions. Most people, it turns out, are sensitive and don’t ask too much. However, one day a co-worker did approached me in the lunch room and said “Hey, what happened to you?” really loudly in front of everyone. I was prepared, and replied, “I would be happy to sit down and tell you about it later, but now isn’t a good time for me to get into it. But I’m fine now; thanks for asking.” I walked away feeling both empowered and polite.

4. Be aware of self-stigma. In hindsight, I realize that I was far harder on myself than any of my co-workers. Many people have a friend or family member with an illness like depression, so they understand the difficulty and are sensitive to that. My co-workers were just glad to see that I was back.

5. Try to stay balanced. Try to balance the hours you work with other more self-nurturing activities. Make time to see your therapist (don’t quit therapy just because you are back to work!). Factor in exercise, friends, and family to your new balanced lifestyle.

In Part Four: The silver lining: I’m stronger than I thought.

© Airdrie Miller

Image: SXC

Airdrie Miller teaches high school mathematics in Vancouver, BC. She also co-hosts and produces a podcast called Lip Gloss and Laptops. She has two beautiful daughters and a bloggable husband. Check him out at penmachine.com.

Post from: Blisstree

In My Experience: Surviving Major Depression: Part Three

Today was the last day for the “Top 5 Ways To Be A Mental Health Advocate” series here at Mental Health Notes.

And, if you missed it, you don’t have to scroll through the site trying to find each post – I’ve rounded them all up for you right here!

Number One: Stop Yourself And Others From Promoting Mental Health Stigma. People with any kind of illness – mental illness included – are up against a lot. Refraining from using stigmatizing words and committing actions that contribute to stigma is a great way to be a mental health advocate!

Number Two: Get Involved With Mental Health Advocacy And Research Organizations. Nationwide (and worldwide!) mental health advocacy and research programs have their stuff together, and they can help you learn about mental health and advocate for mental health awareness.

Number Three: Get Involved With Mental Health Support Groups. Support groups have been around for a looooong time. It’s because they work. If you join a support group in your area, or create one where once one never existed, you can learn more about yourself and your loved ones as well as promote mental health awareness.

Number Four: Educate Yourself And Others About Mental Health. Education is the key to…well, everything. Stigma, abuse, and bigoted thoughts and behaviors often stem from ignorance, so educate yourself about mental health and then go out and educate the world!

Number Five: Get Involved With Mental Health Politics. Band together with other mental health advocates to make our government hear us and create useful mental health legislation.

If you have any more suggestions on how to become a mental health advocate, or personal stories about how you have advocated for mental health awareness, feel free to share in the comments!

Image: SXC and Karolina K

Post from: Blisstree

Round Up Of The Top 5 Ways To Be A Mental Health Advocate

So far in the “Top 5 Ways To Be A Mental Health Advocate” series here at Mental Health Notes, I’ve given you reasons to stop promoting stigma and a list of large mental health advocacy and research organizations with which you can get involved.

Today, let’s talk about the importance of smaller mental health support groups, how you can get involved with one, and how you can even start one if there are none in your area.

Number Three: Become a mental health advocate when you get involved with mental health support groups, or start a mental health support group.

Seek out mental health support groups in your area. You may find that your community mental health center or one of the larger mental health advocacy organizations already have support groups to join. You can also check out your state’s Department of Health and Human Resources (this organization may also be called Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Division, or Division of Public Health), or join online mental health support groups.

If your area doesn’t have a mental health support group, there are several ways you can start one. Start by contacting your local community mental health center, your Department of Health and Human Resources (or similar name), or one of the larger mental health advocacy groups. You may find that one of the larger groups would love to help you start an affiliate group in your area. (That’s how I started my area’s NAMI affiliate support group.)

Whether it’s you or someone you love who has a mental illness, mental health support groups are great ways to learn more about mental health, find resources, and talk to others who know what you’re going through.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s information about educating yourself and others about mental health, but in the meantime, share your thoughts here about mental health support groups.

• Do you belong to a mental health support group? How has it worked for you, or helped you better understand mental health?
• Have you been successful at starting a mental health support group in your area?

Image: SXC and iofoto.

Post from: Blisstree

Get Involved With Mental Health Support Groups

It’s that time of the month again here at b5media’s Health & Wellness Channel – Theme Day!

September’s theme is – appropriately – “back to school,” so I thought I’d share some tips with parents on how to help their children keep a sharp, healthy mind now that the swimming pools are drained and the book bags are full.

Tip #1: Make sure your child eats plenty of brain food. Food that’s good for our brains not only promote good brain function (and honestly, what kid couldn’t use that come test time?), but a healthy diet full of food that’s good for your brain is also good for your mental health. Check out WebMD’s Top 10 Brain Foods for Children to get ideas for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus.

Tip #2: Help your child get plenty of sleep. Exhausted minds certainly aren’t healthy minds. Even though your child may have gotten used to staying up later and sleeping in over the summer (and hey, didn’t I warn you about that back in June?), now is definitely the time to make sure he or she is getting to bed earlier in order to get up earlier and be well rested. It’s difficult to pay attention in class, make new friends, juggle homework and extra curricular activities when you’re nodding off every five minutes. Visit the National Sleep Foundation for information about the importance of sleep, tips on how to know whether your child is getting enough sleep, and ways to make sure your child is getting the best sleep possible.

Tip #3: Watch out for bullies. We all know bullies have problems of their own going on. A bully usually picks on other kids because he or she is angry, hurt, feeling neglected, abused at home, etc. It’s sad, but the only child you can immediately help is your own, so make sure you talk with your child about bullying behavior, why a bully may act the way he or she does, and how your child can appropriately respond to bullies. KidsHealth.org and SafeChild.org both offer some great information to get you started. And remember: It’s not all about fist-fights and taking your kid’s milk money anymore, so don’t forget to check out these resources to protect your children against cyberbullying.

Tip #4: Keep in touch with your child’s teachers. For the majority of the first part of every week day from now until, well, whenever your area’s school year ends, your child’s teachers will know him or her in ways you won’t. Teachers watch friendships blossom and fall apart, tests get aced or failed, and classes get attended or skipped. Form a relationship with your child’s teachers before potential problems arise so you can be informed as well as ready to jump in if your child seems to become overly stressed, anxious, sad, or even bullied. Too, check out Mental Health America’s list of warning signs that something may be wrong.

Tip #5: Talk with your child about mental health. This is kind of a no-brainer, but you must talk with your child about mental health in order for 1) your child to be educated about mental health, and 2) your child to know you’re available and ready to help should any mental health problems arise. If a child grows up in a household that represses feelings, promotes stigma, and believes depression, anxiety, and anger are for “the weak,” is it really feasible for us to expect that child to have a healthy mind? I don’t think so. There are plenty of resources out there to help you talk with your child about mental health. Get started with the SAMHSA Family Guide, Mental Health America’s Factsheet: Talking to Kids about Fear and Violence, and the UK’s NHS article on talking to children about their mental health. Oh, and if your child is a college or university student, don’t forget to check out
ULifeline: Online Mental Health Resources For College Students.

For more great theme day posts around the Health & Wellness Channel, check out the “Back-to-School Survival Guide” Grace Ibay created at Kids Health Notes to round ‘em all up!

Image: SXC

Post from: Blisstree

5 Tips To Keep Your Child’s Mind Healthy This School Year

In yesterday’s post for the “Top 5 Ways To Be A Mental Health Advocate,” I wrote about how you can easily become a mental health advocate when you stop yourself and others from promoting mental health stigma.

Today, let’s look at how large mental health advocacy and research organizations can help.

Number Two: Become a mental health advocate when you get involved with large mental health advocacy and research organizations.

Large mental health advocacy and research organizations really have their stuff together, and can help you stay on top of current mental health issues, find nationwide mental health resources, and even get involved with special events. Check out the following to get started:

• The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
• The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA).
• Mental Health America, or the National Mental Health Association (NMHA) as they’re being called now.
• The National Alliance for Research in Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD).
• National Anxiety Foundation (NAF)
• Best Buddies International
• National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
• The American Association for Geriatric Psychiatry (AAGP)
• The Alzheimer’s Association

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s information about mental health support groups, but in the meantime, share your thoughts here about these large organizations.

• Are you involved with or a member of any of these mental health organizations?
• What has been your experience with these groups?

Image: SXC

Post from: Blisstree

Get Involved With Mental Health Advocacy And Research Organizations

Back in August, Angelique of Breaking the Mirror wrote about the top eight ways to become an eating disorders recovery advocate. I thought it was such an awesome idea that I decided to do it here at Mental Health Notes!

As I started writing, however, I realized just how much information can go into helping someone become a mental health advocate. So, I’ve broken the list into five separate posts for you to peruse all week in a series called “Top 5 Ways To Be A Mental Health Advocate,” starting with:

Number One: Become a mental health advocate when you stop promoting stigma and stop others from promoting stigma.

You may not be a cruel, heartless, thoughtless person, but you may use words like “nut case,” “crazy,” and “whack job” from time to time when referring to another human being. Stop! These words have negative connotations and are degrading.

When people who know a little something about mental illness hear you say those words, they may think you are cruel, heartless, and thoughtless. And, when people who don’t know much about mental illness hear you say them, they may think it’s okay to use them, too.

It’s a vicious cycle, see?

The next time you feel yourself getting ready to say these things, close your mouth and look at the situation. Is someone acting in a way that actually does make you think he has a mental illness? Maybe all he needs is someone to reach out and offer help. Or is the person merely acting in a way you don’t like or making decisions you don’t agree with? Maybe you just need to remove yourself from the situation.

You can stop others from promoting stigma, too. It is not a good idea to tackle the lady at Wal-Mart whom you overheard making fun of someone with a mental illness (though, I permit myself the occasional shooting of a dirty look – I’m an imperfect person, what can I say?), but it is a good idea to talk with your family, friends, and co-workers about such behavior. And don’t feel nervous about it or out of line. You’d defend your child if someone called him “stupid,” “ignorant,” or “ugly,” wouldn’t you? Then defend yourself, your loved ones, and others with mental health problems, too.

Keep in mind the best way to stop others from promoting stigma is to educate them about mental health and to let them know how their words and actions hurt others.

For example, if someone says, “That woman is a real nut job! She’s so bipolar I can’t stand to be around her!” you may reply with something like, “It’s not really our place to diagnose others, but if she really is struggling with bipolar-type symptoms, maybe we can help her find some resources? Or at the very least, not call her names that only make the situation worse. People don’t choose to have a mental illness, after all.”

Yeah, it sounds all textbookish and worthy of a Public Service Announcement, but calling someone out in calm and mature manner, and one that suggests you know what you’re talking about, really does work.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s information about mental health advocacy and research organizations, but in the meantime, share your thoughts here about stigma.

• Have you been guilty of promoting stigma?
• How have you tried to stop others from promoting stigma?
• What advice would you offer someone who comes face-to-face with degrading, stigma-promoting words or actions?

Image: SXC and duchesssa.

Post from: Blisstree

Stop Yourself And Others From Promoting Mental Health Stigma

My work, my commitments, and my pets (thank God I live close to my family) took a back seat while I stood beside another person and helped with everything from everyday needs (laundry, trash, and bills) to those tasks we never want to complete but know, most likely, we’ll have to tackle some day (phone calls, funeral arrangements, and that last, long drive from the cemetery).

Being a person’s support system means different things in different situations. It’s a natural thing to do, even though we often don’t know what it will involve until we’re in the midst of it and more often than not we’re exhausted once it’s over.

Currently, I am exhausted.

Fortunately, Karen Lynch of b5media’s Pink Ribbon Review selflessly stepped up to help me while I was busy helping someone else. She has contributed today’s guest post at Mental Health Notes so I can take a break (that’s what Labor Day is all about, right?).

So, read on as Karen discusses mental health issues in relation to physical health issues, and don’t forget to vote for Pink Ribbon Review in the 2008 Bloggies!

Hello Mental Health Notes readers! I’m Karen Lynch, a two-time breast cancer survivor. I keep a blog here at b5media dedicated to raising breast cancer awareness called The Pink Ribbon Review.

When Alicia recently shared with me that she was stepping into the role of caregiver as she supported someone important in her during a difficult time, I immediately wanted to help.

See, when I was managing the repercussions of my diagnoses, I couldn’t have gotten by without the support of people that cared. People that were willing to put their own lives aside to help me and my family. People that enabled my mental health to stay strong while my physical health was being attacked.

Kudos to Alicia for reaching out and accepting help…that’s an important step towards maintaining mental health when you find yourself in the midst of a trial.

But that’s hard, isn’t it? When there are so many other things you need to think about, it’s common to put your mental health needs on the back burner. People easily step up to help out with tangible needs, like meal preparation, shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry. But people don’t know how to help you keep your mental health stays strong – you have to be proactive and take it upon yourself to ask for the help you need.

So here’s the question…are people facing a serious health issue, their own or someone else’s, like cancer, heart disease, diabetes… anything…are they prone to mental health issues?

Let me share with you the results of a 2006 study conducted by Dartmouth Medical School researchers – this research was specific to breast cancer patients but we can all learn from the findings.

“Virtually all newly diagnosed women admitted to experiencing some level of emotional distress, and 47 percent met clinically significant screening criteria for emotional distress or a psychiatric disorder, including major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”

Emotional distress. The kind of emotional distress caused by an initial diagnosis, the uncertainty about a treatment protocol and the side effects of that treatment. And that emotional distress can be severe. SEVERE.

So what do you need to do to manage that distress? What you’d do anytime your mental health is threatened:

• Stay active – get the exercise you need to keep your body invigorated, get oxygen into your system and work off extra calories consumed during a stressful time. Better yet, ask a friend to be your exercise buddy; you’ll add socialization to your list of self-care and your psyche will seriously benefit from talking with a friend and sharing your burden with another human being.
• Focus on getting enough sleep – not only will you be able to tackle more, make better decisions, and make more sense of what is going on in your life after some serious shut eye, but you’ll also be making sure your body stays in peak physical form. Cellular repair happens when your body is at rest and you want your immune system to be as strong as possible during a trying time.
• Locate some appropriate mental health services in your area – support groups, counselors, even psychiatric care – and keep pertinent phone numbers at your fingertips so that you can make a call and get professional help and/or support the moment you find yourself needing it.

Fortunately, Alicia isn’t facing a health issue of her own…she’s supporting someone she loves as they deal with a loved one’s health issue. She’s helping them, they’re helping someone else…and I’m helping her.

With that kind of help during a trying time, we’ll all stay mentally strong.

God bless!

© Karen Lynch

Image: SXC and Crystal Woroniuk.

Post from: Blisstree

Learn Tips To Manage Emotional Distress From Karen Lynch