I have some experience with military relationships, so I would like to start reaching out to women who have loved ones in the military and are looking for answers.  It is an extremely lonely and painful experience and I know that it helps to know that others have gone through the same situation.

Today I would like to talk about tips for women dealing with returning servicemembers.  If your loved one has recently returned from a military deployment there are a lot of new challenges that you will face.  You know that your loved one is going through a painful transition to adjust to life back at home, but you probably are completely nervous about how to deal with it in the best way.

I believe that this advice also applies to any other return from an emotionally challenging or alienating situation like rehabilitation or loss of a loved one.  It could also apply to any situation that involves long periods of time spent apart.

This advice has been adapted from a publication from a support organization for the US Marine Corps:

• Talk and listen. It might feel awkward at first, but open communication is extremely important.
• Go slow. Don’t force emotionally or physical intimacy right away.  You have missed each other a lot, but it will take time to get to that level of comfort again.
• Be flexible. You have both established a lot of independence so allow yourself to adjust to some of his patterns.
• Don’t be defensive. He might have a bombardment of questions for you about the changes in your life that have occurred since he has been away.  You had to make a lot of decisions without him and you need to take the time to calmly explain them without feeling attacked.
• Don’t force talk. He might not want to open up right away about everything that he has been through…and that’s okay.  You don’t have to be his therapist, you just have to be supportive and loving and with time he will become comfortable.  Talking to a trained professional could be very helpful.

Image: Flickr.com

Post from: Blisstree

He Just Returned From Military Deployment

Image: sxc.hu

I found one in my grandmother’s memorabilia trunk.  It represented her son, my Uncle Charles, who served in that war and came back alive.  These flags, a blue star on white background surrounded by a red border hung in the windows of families who had a member fighting for our country’s freedom.  (More stars if more than one person was in the war.)

If the soldier was killed in war, a gold star was hung above the blue and if injured a silver star instead.  Thus also originated the term “Gold Star Mothers” who lost a son or daughter in the war.

Supposedly Army Captain Robert Queisser, of the 5th Ohio Infantry, designed a service flag to honor his two sons who were serving in the military during World War I.  These flags symbolize brave men and women in all our wars.

Nowadays, they’re made as flags, banners, pillows and quilts, to keep in mind the military men and women serving to keep us free.

Post from: Blisstree

Learning About Patriotic Service Flags

“I grew up in a family that didn’t know what glass ceilings were,” she said. “This nomination only reaffirms what I have known to be true about the military throughout my career — that the doors continue to open for men and women in uniform.”

Read about her rise to power in a very, very patriarchal profession on MSNBC.com

Salute!

Post from: Blisstree

1st Woman 4 Star

My dad retired a few years ago as a Col. in the Utah Air National Guard. He was active duty Air Force when I was growing up.

Last week he swore my little brother into the Navy. My brother will be a Navy Chaplain, serving those men and women who need compassion and spiritual guidance in the face of the extreme conditions of war and separations from their families. He’ll serve in the reserves until he completes a masters degree in theology.

“Was dad really, really proud when he swore you in?” I asked my brother.

“Are you really, really proud?” my brother asked?

I am really, really proud. I hope it is everything your family expects. I hope you get to see the whole big wide world and I hope it makes you happy.

This is a Blogtoberfest Post. The item I’m giving away is something I sought out specifically in honor of my brother’s family.

My sister-in-law, Janet, was previously in the Army herself. I nearly died when I got to see a photo of her sporting a machine gun in camouflage at their wedding. She’s a military wife now and this woman knows what she’s getting into. It looks like a hard road to me, but it’s a familiar life for her. They have a 2.5-year-old daughter named Liberty, and Janet’s pregnant with another baby girl. She traded camouflage for nursing bras. The item I’m giving away will help them communicate with their kids. . .

Leave a comment guessing what it could be on this post to enter to win. A random winner will be awarded this fantastic surprise one week from today.

I’m giving something away every day for two weeks straight, subscribe to Blog Fabulous (RSS button at top, share at bottom) so you don’t miss any Christmas hoarding opportunities (see our cool list of prizes here

Photo Source: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me really, it’s from my SIL’s Facebook page, but I don’t think the whole world is invited.

Post from: Blisstree

Military Men