I was part of a group discussion on a parenting forum, not too long ago. We were all sharing tips and just generally gabbing for the sake of enlightenment. The subject of vehicles came up. I was asked what type of vehicle I drive. I knew that the question was a loaded one, but answered it anyway. Bracing myself for the verbal abuse I would surely receive from all of the eco friendly mamas, I answered, “A 15 passenger van.” Immediately, the rude backlash began. “Why?” “Do you really need that big of a van?” “Don’t you care about the environment?” The conversation sure does get ugly when politics, religion and Oprah are involved. Thank God I was smart enough to keep my opinions on Oprah in a quiet, inaccessible part of my mind. Otherwise, I might have been completely shredded by the pirana like chompers of the hybrid driving, Oprah loving women in the chat room.

After a long sigh, I decided to just try and laugh it off, then change the subject. I know from experience how fruitless these types of conversation can be. They are a no win situation. I wasn’t in the mood to call a draw, so I opted for the “Let’s change the subject” maneuver. One particularly opinionated hippie mom wasn’t biting. “I suppose you also buy your kids name brand clothes from Old Navy and The Gap!” She snottily chimed in. After I told her that the correct name of the store was just “Gap,” no “The” included, I asked her to elaborate. Now this lady had piqued my interest. She said that with as many little eco sucking leeches as I had, I should be trying to give back to the earth as much as possible. I should be dressing my kids in clothing made of recycled hemp. I should make them myself. I should only buy organic food, grown on farms who donate proceeds to worthy causes. I should have solar energy panels installed. I should only use recycled water outside. I should….yadda, yadda, yadda.

I heard every word that she preached, but after her reference to my spawn as “leeches,” I stopped caring. Maybe my kids do use the earth’s resources. Yes, they live off the fruits of the land. Yes, we drive a van that costs 98 dollars to fill up with fossil fuel. Yes, I shop at Old Navy and Gap. I do what I can for the environment and do not feel guilty that I am not an overzealous, tree hugging, picket organizer (no offense to all of you who are.) I barely have the time and energy to do the little things, like cooking, laundry, cleaning and nurturing my children, as it is. I’m lucky to be able to squeeze in a little tree hugging now and then, but when I do, it is done in love. This lady and her nasty name calling was just trying to piss me off and she succeeded beautifully.

“You know what?”  I asked, mounting my own pulpit. “Maybe we aren’t the most conservation minded folks, but we do what we can. The last thing I need to hear is criticism about how I’m not doing enough. Oh, and let me put this as nicely as possible…Your bitchy way of recruiting more soldiers for your cause is not a very good one. You suck at using people skills. Maybe you should spend less time with your arms wrapped around trees and a little more in charm school, you cow!” Her response was quick, “That was putting it nicely?” I laughed. “Yeah, I’m about as good at being nice as I am about saving the earth.” She was highly offended and I could care less. Let this be a lesson to all of us. When attempting to make your noble cause look worthy, refrain from likening people and their children to blood sucking invertebrates. It will never end well!

Holy homemade handkerchiefs! Mother’s Day is right around the corner! I have been so busy, that it hasn’t really been on the top of my priority list. The time has come to start thinking of ways to make this Sunday special. I need to think of a gift or an act of kindness to show my mother how much she means to me. Unfortunately, I’m bad at this kind of stuff, so I’m relying on all of you. I smell a contest!

Okay, here’s the scoop. I need Mother’s Day ideas…good ones, silly ones, even slightly odd ones will do. Submit your ideas in the comments section. Each idea needs to be a separate comment and here is why: I am going to select one individual comment to win this bouquet of flowers to send to the woman of their choosing on Mother’s Day.  You may even send them to yourself! The contest starts now and ends on Friday at 8am PST. You may submit as many as you’d like, as long as they are submitted as individual comments. The more you submit, the greater your chances of winning are! Good luck!

flowers by: www.proflowers.com

…but taking care of your exterior is not a bad idea either! How many of you have looked in the mirror lately to see a less than youthful appearance? I am one of those mommies that often puts off taking care of my skin because it is just not a priority. Your skin should be pampered, whenever possible. It is one of the first things that people notice, (besides that fact that you are trying to pry the economy bag of Skittles out of Junior’s death grip.) Your skin deserves your attention! That is why I am pleased to offer all of you beautiful mamas a contest with a prize designed just for your face. Amino Genesis is offering two innovative products from their new skin care line. For more informantion on the Amino Genesis line, please vist:  www.aminogenesis.com. After reading the description of the products below, make sure that you leave a comment. One lucky commenter will receive the under eye treatment and penetrating repair serum, which is a $129 value. You will be looking years younger in no time! Be sure to check out all of the other giveaways this week around the B5 Lifestyles Channel and “Bloggy Giveaways,” as well. Good luck!

Counter Clockwise: AminoGenesis’ Counter Clockwise under-eye treatment is a special gel/cream hybrid that soothes, renews the gentle skin around the eyes. The powerful AminoGenesis base formula of 17 amino acids is combined with ingredients specifically for the fragile skin around the eyes. With the concentration of a cream and the water-carrying capabilities of a gel, Counter Clockwise delivers moisture, nutrients and amino acids where they are needed most.

Photolagen – AGF: Photolagen is a full strength, non-prescription formula that combines three proven technologies in one powerful serum to create dramatic results for a wide range of skin concerns including sun damage, wrinkles, dryness, discoloration, skin firmness and texture. The delivery system transports vital moisture deep into skin, utilizing AminoGenesis‘ unique combination of 17 amino acids that go to work increasing collagen and elastin production. Photolagen’s patented peptide technology immediately begins repairing and beautifying the skin’s surface. The result is healthy, vibrant and more beautiful skin.

 The following is an article that I had published over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. It is an important lesson for parents and children alike!

 “Mom, I don’t have any friends at school,” my four year old complained on the way to school one morning.

“Well, in order to make friends, you need to be willing to introduce yourself. Tell them your name and ask if they would like to play.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “But Mom, I’m too scared to do that.”

“I know it can be scary, honey, but it is the only way to make a new friend.”

Later that day, as I sat alone at the park watching my toddlers play with neighboring children, I realized that I was very lonely. We had just moved into the area, and I had not made one single friend. I had been terribly homesick and battling blues for a few months. Despite the encouragement I had been doling out to my kids to make friends in their new environment, I myself had not been practicing what I preached. The solution was clear, but not as easy as it seemed.

There were other moms at the park that day, but they were already buddied up with someone. I am an extrovert, by nature, but this was terrifying. How many moms have approached you with the request to be your friend? Wouldn’t you think them a little strange? I know I would. I had to come up with a plan, and fast. I looked and felt ridiculous twiddling my thumbs in the remotest part of the play area. I began to have a profound empathy for what my children were facing at their new schools.

Just then, a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Is that little boy yours?” It was another mom, inquiring about my three year old.

“Yes, he is.”

“He is such a sweetheart!”

We talked for quite awhile as we watched our kids play together. The fear of rejection and looking like a total idiot, quickly dissipated as I realized that they key to making friends is commonality. If you find a point of commonality, which for moms is obviously having children, then initiating conversation will be a piece of cake. You may find that the two of you have a ton in common, as the conversation progresses, and become friends. Or you may find that she is a person that you do not see eye to eye with. Either way, at least you didn’t spend your time watching the grass grow and feeling lonely.

I shared my new found philosophy with the kids, later that day, and it has helped them tremendously in their endeavors to make new pals. More so, it has helped to lessen my home sickness and depression. I am now able to spark up a nice chat with any mom who may be sharing the local park that day. I have even worked my way up to approaching an already formed duo of mommies, and inviting myself in to the topic of conversation. It gets easier every time I try. Chat rooms are great, and phone conversations are helpful when I need to hear an old friend’s voice, but the need for face to face interaction will never die. Now that I have learned to integrate that into my life again, I am a much happier person, and a better mom!

Hey moms!

You should be glad my wife has gotten into this blogging thing. She’s keeping me in the loop on mommy things.

Well, I’ve got some more stuff for you. Looking for other blogs my moms? Check out The Ultimate Mommy Blog List. Guy Kawasaki, an A-list blogger if ever their was one, has assembled a list of more than 50 mom blogs for your reading enjoyment.

Go check it out!

Attention! Attention!

All you Moms out there who are in need of a little support, I invite you to check out MOPS. They explain it quite well on their own:

MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. MOPS International exists to meet the needs of every mom - urban, suburban and rural moms, stay-at-home and working moms, teen, single and married moms - moms with different lifestyles who all share a similar desire to be the very best moms they can be! MOPS recognizes that the years from infancy through kindergarten are foundational in a mother-child relationship and are filled with unique needs.

Now, so nobody gets surprised, MOPS is a Christian organization. Every local group has to be chartered by a church or other Christian organization, like the YMCA/YWCA. The best groups, however, remember the purpose - to meet the needs of every mom - and no matter where you stand spiritually/religiously you’ll be encouraged and supported as a mother.

I’m going to brag for a moment: My wife, Kerri, started a MOPS group at our old church, and it rocked! It ran for three years before the church closed its doors, and I don’t think a single mom who came regretted it. If fact, most of the moms were not a part of our church, and a number of them had no interest or involvement in any church. They were just moms who wanted the support and encouragement of other moms.

So if you’re feeling like you’re the only one experiencing the fears, doubts, stress, exhaustion and joy of being a new mom, I encourage you to check out MOPS. A directory of local groups, with contact information, can found at their website.