Anyway, I am on the mend. My doctor loaded me up with all sorts of goodies. I should be feeling better in no time at all.

Post from: Blisstree

CFS Makes A Common Cold Not So Common

One of the things that I love about CFS Squared, is the community. I am very lucky to have such a great group of regular readers. Knowing that you all visit regularly, makes it easier to write this blog.

I also write another blog for b5media, called Baldiness. I have been writing this blog since last summer, and while I am enjoying it – and learning loads, I don’t have much of a following. Or if I do, they are very very quiet. It’s not like people aren’t reading it – its just that I get very few comments….and that makes me feel lonely and unloved. Can you hear the violin music playing in the background???

Anyway, I would love it, if you would stop by and say hello. Basically, the blog is a lot like CFS2 except its about hairloss and really bad hair days.

In case you didn’t know, I lose my hair when I suffer from long bouts of illness – specifically when a there is a recurring fever. For example, when I get mono – my hair will fall out in large chunks, and will break off mid-strand. I do not have alopecia, but rather the hair loss is a side effect from CFS.

Anyway, please drop by and leave a salutation. Your friendly chatter just might prompt some others to chime in as well.

Post from: Blisstree

Come Visit – It’s Lonely In There

Sometimes I get a bit of a wake up call, and realize that I am the reason that I am still sick. I realize that outside forces are the original reason that I live with (not suffer from) Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. However, I have to think that if I actually 100% followed my doctor’s orders and wasn’t so incredibly stubborn, then I would be doing great instead of mediocre. Perhaps this is a misguided fantasy – but then again, I may be on to something here.

• I don’t sleep – in actual fact, I sleep less than 90 minutes a night. Is this healthy? No! – Could I do something about it? Yes! I could go back to my doctor and request that I take an SSRI antidepressant, or perhaps something a little stronger to help me sleep (xanax perhaps?). I refuse to do either. The fact of the matter is, I will not take another pill for CFS as long as I live. I may have made a bad decision – but from past experience, it is the only choice that I could have made. Instead I have decided that when I really need the sleep, I will sleep.

• I get sick a lot. Not everyday feeling horrible from CFS, but I get severe bouts of mono and pneumonia every year (more than once a year), I sound (although I don’t have) like I live with Tuberculosis – believe me when I tell you I don’t have it (I just sound like I do). Last year’s bout of Meningitis was a big wake up call for me. I have a severely run down immune system. It is insanely compromised. I am a woman who should be living inside a bubble. – What do I do about it? Besides wash my hands and face about 27 times a day. I work 3 jobs, I eat only when I have 10 minutes of spare time – and less than half of my meals a week are home cooked. Am I doing myself more harm – absolutely!

• I take vitamins, although I forget to take them everyday. The same goes for exercise – I do it, but not every day.

• I started taking echinacea – but since I don’t suffer from regular colds and flus – is it even necessary to take it?

• I see out alternative health treatment – but I am not able to practice at home, unless you can count lying on the floor with 3 tennis balls (in a sock) behind my head. I try to meditate, but I end up falling asleep (not for very long though).

I have a stressful life, but its mostly my own doing. I write out new methods of relaxation and exercise to try. I even try out a new regime – and I intensly follow it for about 4 days….and then give up. The reason isn’t laziness, or lack of willpower. But I don’t really understand why I can not commit. Perhaps the patterns are just too hard to break. My muscle memory is not capable of change.

Or maybe that is just an excuse. I recognize the fact that I have a lot of work to do, in order to get well – I am just not sure that I am capable of making the necessary changes. This statement scares me like you wouldn’t believe

Its time to wake up and do something about what is missing. So now I need to find the right first step…..

I will start with the right foot.

**Picture Souce – Flickr

Post from: Blisstree

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Here is the sleeping sickness one…

You can also find pimples, syphilis, black death, athlete’s foot, and others.

Via Boing Boing 

Post from: Blisstree

Hug Your Virus

I have been interviewed about my battle with hair loss (by the way, I won this battle) over at Baldiness. Cory asked all of the hard hitting questions, and I tried my best to answer as honestly as I possibly could.

Of course, when this last bout of hairloss happened, it was way back in August – and so it might seem a little bit sugar coated.
August to January is a long time.

Please check out the interview, and Cory’s blog. Both are fantastic. Oh and he is very funny. Even if he isn’t Canadian
You can read all about the hair issue here.

Post from: Blisstree

My Interview With Cory Aldrich on Baldiness

Between the falling, the flu (I decided to rename the remnants of mono as “the flu”) and now the most horrible cold on the planet…I have had quite enough of this. I need an immune system….I need one RIGHT NOW!!!!

Think I can find one on ebay?

This totally bites.

Post from: Blisstree

Immune System Wanted

I have just come off the worst summer I have had (illness wise) in about 5 or 6 years. A few weeks ago, I started feeling better. Not great mind you, it takes quite a while to get over mono (some of us, never will -thats me…i am a sufferer of chronic mono). That said, I have been feeling well enough to resume all activities full time now, and yesterday I made it through a big day, without any problems.

However, I woke up this morning with the flu. Yesterday was my first day off in months, and I had an absolutely lovely time…and now I feel like I am being punished for it. I have no idea what the cause of this is. Did I pick up some germ at the art gallery? Did I eat something that I shouldn’t have, at my most favorite restaurant? Am I having a reaction to something that was used on me at my day spa? The answer is I don’t know. I don’t have the foggiest idea of what went wrong. Actually, I don’t know if anything really is wrong. Maybe this is what happens to me when I think that I am ok, and I am not.

I know myself pretty well. I can feel when something isn’t right, and that I should stop before a CFS attack hits me. Yesterday, there were no clues. None!!!! This is something very very new to me. I believe that our minds can make or break this illness. As much as I hate the words “Suck it up, already”, they are burnt into my brain. Often I do just that~ I feel things, but then I concentrate on something else and next thing I know, I have forgotten what has been hurting me. It isn’t easy, to be like this. It’s taken me a long time to figure out when I should say those words to myself, and when I shouldn’t. Today is a day, when I am not able to move on. And frankly, its a bit of a let down for me. I feel very connected to this disease today. Connected to an illness that I have made great efforts to move away from. But like metal attracted to a magnet, I can feel being pulled back.

I enjoy living my life illness free. I enjoy not having to worry about how I am going to feel, if I do fun things. I like being busy. I love not being sick. I am disappointed in myself, because I can feel myself losing control. Which is not acceptable.

Tomorrow is my acupuncture appointment. Maybe we can get some good chi flowing, and I can be back to my normal self very soon. Let’s hope.

Post from: Blisstree

The Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Cycle