Keaton, was the star of Something’s Gotta Give. In the movie she fell in love with two men – a younger suitor played by Keanu Reeves and a suitor of her own age played by Jack Nicholson. Did you see that movie?  I’m sorry, but there’s no way in this world that I’d give up Keanu Reeves for Jack Nicholson, so I found that part of the story hard to believe. Reeves character was not a “kid” for goodness sake – he was a doctor who looked like Keanu Reeves.

Diane Keaton believes that men don’t look at her as a sexy woman anymore, but I find that as hard to believe as choosing Jack over Keanu. She’s one of those women who ages, but retains her inner light. How does she do that?  That would be a useful trick to learn. 

Here’s an excerpt from her interview. The magazine will be on newstands October 27, 2009. 

A man is “a huge part of life that’s missing, yeah, but I don’t miss it,” Diane Keaton says in a frank, funny and fearless cover story in the November 2009 issue of MORE. She calls her independence “wonderful. I’m free to do what I want to try to do.  I don’t have to worry that I’m not living up to some responsibility as a partner to somebody else.”

I can understand her point. I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I am so busy that I wonder how I’d fit him in if we lived in the same town. Raising three kids on my own – one a very challenging teenager, another frequently ill – it’s exhausting. Another thing, I’ve noticed that as I age my interests grow and I’ve got all these projects that I’m working on. My attention is all over the place. 

The love of a good man is wonderful, but not everything about being single sucks. There’s a lot to be said for having the freedom to do what you want to do.

Image credit: Zuma Press

Post from: Blisstree

Diane Keaton and Living Single in Midlife

I don’t feel old in my middle age and when my friends talk about age, I see that my point of view concerning it may or may not be unique. Inside I feel like the same girl that I’ve always been, but when I look in the mirror, I see small bags under my eyes and I think, “Wow, not a young girl anymore after all…….” 

When I was in my early 20s I wanted to get married and have children and I wanted to do it right now. Right. Now. So, I married a man that I did not know and while that marriage did not work out, it did lead me to the children that I do believe I am meant to live my life with. The thing is, those kids are growing up. My son will always be with me, he’s disabled and unable to live on his own, but my girls, they will move on. Bay is 17. Sarah is 11. How did the time go by so fast?  Should I have accomplished more with them?  Is there still time to get it done?

When I was young, I thought that getting married, that was the end - the Happy Ending. By the time I got to my early 30s, I realized that there is not Happy Ending, that the whole thing – meaning Life – is a continuous journey and the best that I can do it to pick an interesting direction to travel in. I learned to embrace the ideas of flexibility and perspective. If I try to make something happen, if I hold my ground too hard, then I’ll get knocked down. If I’m flexible, if I bend, then I can ride it out.

When I find other people who appear to share this point of view, it’s very exciting to me. I feel that maybe my ideas are not so crazy and if someone else agrees, then perhaps I’m on the right track. Maybe I’m not crazy at all.

Catherine Larose explains it like this…

For me life is like a book. It’s one continuous narrative and the best and only thing you can do is to be the author of your own adventures or misadventures, such as the case maybe.   Write your own script, don’t let someone else write it for you, make a decision (any decision), if it’s the wrong one, you’ll fix it.  Give yourself permission – and don’t let analysis/paralysis rule your life.  Fonce*, as my French friends would say.

Image credit: Bailey Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Write Your Own Story

There’s an article at More.com that tells you, “How Not To Act Old With a Younger Man.”  It was written by humorist Pamela Redmond Satran, author of the book, “How Not To Act Old.”  My man is older than me (by about 10 months), but I figure acting a bit younger can’t hurt, right? 

Here’s a rundown of Satran’s advice:

*You aren’t his mom, so cool it with the advice. This could be very challenging for women our age. We are used to throwing our 2 cents into……..well, everything. We are wise, what can we say? Still, skip it. Let him figure it out on his own, unless he asks for help. (Which he probably won’t – doesn’t matter the age, men are all stubborn).

*In addition to the no-advice rule, don’t mother him in any other way. No mothering. I mean it. He’s already got somebody for that.

*Don’t make joke-references to your age. I do this with my girlfriends sometimes. For example, today I told a girlfriend that my jawline has gone a bit “blurry.” This joke is girls only.

*Take care of business below the belt. Update your both your underwear and your bikini line habits.

*Relax. Be yourself. If he compliments you, say “thank you,” and move on. You deserve praise, accept it gracefully.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

How To Act With A Younger Man

As Baby Boomers and generations X and Y continue to inhabit and compete for the same positions, promotions and benefits in the work force — we now have a diversity stew that is becoming very difficult to manage. The grumbling about salaries, flex time, dress codes, parents’ rights and a whole myriad of ideologies is loud and getting louder:

The authors of Generations At Work cite some real doozies:

• “A hiring bonus! Wet behind the ears and he wants a hiring bonus! At his age, I was just grateful I had a job.” Or “So I told my boss, ‘If you’re looking for loyalty, buy a dog.”‘ Or “He asks me,” ‘Do you have an e-mail address?’ I felt like telling him, ’since you were in diapers, buddy!”‘

Sound familiar? As if human resouces specialists don’t have enough on their plate, now through education and communication, they must address the fact that at no other time in our history have we had so many and such different generations working together.

I, for one, am so glad I never had to work for someone younger than myself. Why? Because as a boomer, I subscribe to the “Xers as greedy and lazy” school of biased thought. And they probably see me as obsessive and single-minded.

What should be done? According to the authors of Generations At Work, we should “get a portrait” of each generation: learn their values, assets, abilities and work ethics. Get curious about the events that shaped Baby Boomers’ lives: Woodstock, the Cold War, the Civil Rights and Women’s Liberation movements…and for Xers it was Watergate, PCs, the Challenger disaster and the Internet.

And keep in mind there is another group about to enter your space: NeXters (1980-2000). As web builders, touch-typists, critics of older generations’ computer skills, and boasters of having brought the word “whatever” into our everyday lexicon…there is a lot we must learn about them so that we are not tempted to give them a big old slap when they come to work.

Post from: Blisstree

Generation Flap At Work.

I almost missed the above quote, as I was turning pages in the May issue of More Magazine. I’m glad I turned back to read it and contemplate. If I’d only known and understood this concept 20 years ago, when I began working, I could have saved myself a lot of self-hating, sleepless nights.

Mary Lou Quinlan, currently a judge on ABC’s American Inventor, wrote a poignant article about how we can use our work lessons teach our daughters, neices and other young women: The Career Advice We’d Most Like To Give Our Daughters So They Don’t Make The Same Mistakes We Did. It’s certainly a timely topic as Mother’s day approaches, but I would submit, that it’s just great advice.

Here are some of Ms. Quinlan’s thoughts:

• I’d stop saying I’m sorry all the time to defuse problems
• I’d shut down the doubtin voice that kept me from speaking my heart
  
• I’d start taking chances sooner and asking for forgiveness later
• I’d enjoy being a woman at work

And to those who are just starting out now — she says:

• Take your responsibility seriously, but not yourself
• Nurture your friendships
• Trust your first impressions

Look in the mirror each night and ask whether you’ve done the best you could

Gosh, I wish someone had told me these things…so, when you get a minute, pick up a copy of More or visit their site to read the whole article…if not just to check out Meredith Vieira’s gorgeous dress on the cover.

Post from: Blisstree

Knowing Now What You Didn’t Know Then…