What happens to a child who grows up with virtually no parenting, love, affection or human touch? “Nearly everything we learn about being human—how to speak, how to walk, everything—comes from the people who raise us,” Oprah says. “Today, we’re going to look at what happens when nobody does.”
This was my son.
Dr. Bruce Perry, a Child psychiatrist featured on the Oprah show states that neglect is the absence of necessary stimulation in order to build a certain part of the brain. In order for children to learn, to stimulate areas of their brain they NEED stimulation. Without stimulation they will …read more

The first time I saw this I was so saddened that it was all I thought about all day. The images flooded my mind when I lay my head down to sleep.
Some,
It makes me think that AJ was one of the lucky ones to be placed in the orphanage. When you watch you will see that so many of the children are actually abandoned on the streets by their biological parents and know their parents don’t want them. What that does to their emotional state I can’t imagine. like Slava, run away because of the home-life; alcoholism, violence, neglect.Some are …read more

A new study out of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill shows that children neglected before the age of two display higher levels of aggressive behavior between the ages of 4 and 8.
A child was considered neglected if his parents or caregivers did not provide supervision or food, clothing, or shelter. Abuse was sexual or physical.
The aggression was defined as arguing, cruelty to others, destruction of property, disobedience, and threatening of fighting. It was based on the primary caregiver’s perceptions when the child was 4,6, and 8.
I wonder what they would find if they interviewed parents of children …read more

Parenting is full of grief.
Adoption, relinquishment, loss, abandonment, neglect, abuse, are full of grief.
Infertility and miscarriage are full of grief.
And no one type of grief can trump the other. 

Yeah Right.
A few months ago we had an adoption medical specialist (or so she said) tell a group of pre-adoptive and adoptive parents that sleep issues work themselves out within a matter of a few weeks.
Bull Shit.
Oops, am I allowed to say that?

I spoke with a Developmental Specialist last night regarding some behaviors we are having with AJ (we scheduled a visit next week so I will keep you posted). His take on Attachment issues is that diagnoses like Reactive Attachment Disorder don’t exist. His belief is that issues like Sensory Processing, trauma, neglect, and abuse get in the way of attachment. Unless those are treated there can be no attachment.
When the underline issues are treated a child will attach.
Sites on attachment:
AttachmentDisorder.net 
Camp Broken Hearts 
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology

Since adopting AJ we have been dealing with symptoms of Institutional Autism, something that the Autism community thinks is a quack theory but an illness and diagnosis that we know to be very real.
We know that AJ had a very traumatic life in the orphanage but we don’t know why. When we visited him he seemed happy, content, very excited to see us and comfortable with his caregivers, although they were rough with him. We do know that he spent almost 3 months in the hospital directly after birth before being transfered to the orphanage and that he had …read more