Closure represented a sort of door. Open door=pain. Closed door=healing.  No closed door ever truly changed the way I felt. It could not be that easy.

I was in a relationship that had no clear breakup. He simply stopped answering his phone. A few months later, there was a small amount of communication and eventually the whole ugly story came out (via another party, not my ex). I felt angry and closure was the last thing on my mind. I did not want to talk to him. I wanted him completely out of my head. I wanted him to disappear. I ignored contact from him. I got angry with my friends when they spoke about him. I got really angry when they relayed messages from him. The anger was bothering me and creating problems in other areas of my life.

Finally, I felt that enough was enough. I wanted any mention of him to stop. He did not mean anything to me other than a big ball of angry regret in my belly. I wanted to truly make him disappear. I wanted closure.

So, I emailed him. He answered. I said what I had to say and in very little time that anger changed to pity. Now I feel at peace. No angry ball in my belly – just the usual chocolate cravings. 

I feel free now that I’m out from under the weight of all that anger. Could I be friends with him now? Oh, hell no.  I still think he’s an ass. The important thing is that I don’t care enough about him to hate him any longer.

Here’s the key – closure is about you, not your ex.

I was wrong about the closure before. I did not understand it. It is important. It is healing. If you’ve been contemplating it, give it a try. 

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Got Me Some Of That Closure

Day one of my Mission. 

I’m going to get a little New Age-y here. Maybe you are cool with that, maybe not, but try to keep an open mind.  We are going to clear away the bad to make room for the good.

This is something that I have done myself. I’ve suggested it to friends who are readers and my mom, Sandy.  What we are going to do is to get rid of all the negativity that is holding us back.  (Okay, stop that snickering, give me a chance here…….)

Then, we are going to do what Lara suggested in her post, we are going to begin to attract someone to us.  It’s pretty simple really, you identify what you want and then sent that wish out into the Universe. 

You start with a shower or a bath. I like to a bath, because it allows me to slow down, relax and think.  I use bath salts because they smell good and they make my skin feel soft.  If you would like to make some salts of your own, then take a look here. It’s very quick and easy. As you take your bath or shower, imagine that you are washing away all your self-doubt and the residue of your past relationships. Turn the water off and let it all drain away.  Towel off and put on something comfy. 

Grab a piece of paper and start listing what you are looking for in a partner.  Don’t describe a specific person.  Don’t say, “I would like someone like Phil” or “I’m really looking for a guy who looks like Glen, in accounting.”  You want someone else, someone who is meant for you. 

For example, I might say that I’m looking for a man close to my age, who is a single father, funny and kind, enjoys hiking and/or biking, has a good relationship with his family, enjoys the outdoors, has a good job, gets along well with children, brushes his teeth regularly (I have a thing), isn’t afraid to act goody, and wears some sort of facial hair (again, I have a thing). 

After you make your list, reread it out loud, remind yourself of your intent, and then put the list away. That’s it. You are releasing your wish out into the atmosphere.

You are now ready to attract someone special.  

Image credit – Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Out with the Old, In with the New