It’s funny.  I have no desire to withhold nourishment from my body even though:
a) In the past year, I’ve put on a few pounds.  (Only 5-7, but it seems like a zillion.)
b)  I’m unhappy about the “Santa’s-bowl-full-of-jelly-belly” nature of my thighs and derriere.
c)  I feel unsexy and downright blechy.
Yet I honestly don’t want to starve myself.
It’s weird. 
Usually, my first thoughts in this situation are, “Dear god!  How can I make all this GO AWAY?!?  Stop eating!” 
Could I have overcome a hurdle, slight though it may be?  The self-loathing is holding strong (unfortunately), but the desire to deny myself food isn’t occurring (woo hoo). 
Of course, …read more

I was driving down a country road the other day, and I saw a woman I’d seen in the past.  She was walking fiercely, speeding along the side, fists pumping, head down beneath a ballcap.  Her face was drawn, teeth grimaced in a smile of pain. 
I’ve seen exercisers before, but I remembered this one from the previous time because she is extraordinarily thin.  I’m talking starvation thin.  Her legs were pretty much sinew and bones — no shape save for huge kneecaps. 
She looked like the walking dead.
Really, no matter how anorexic I feel at times, when I see a person like she, …read more