TangoWire is a network of more than 70 online dating communities. Each community targets “both general and specialized areas of interests.”  They make a big point of saying that they will never share or sell your private information and you will receive no spam.

It says that the membership is free and with membership you can send and receive email, create a profile, and “smile” at other members, put from the way it’s worded here, it sounds as if you do have to pay to become a “premium” member at some point. Why do they do the tricky wording? 

If you give U.S. Military Singles a try, let me know how it goes. And remember to avoid these  online dating mistakes – when you do reply, focus on personality-based comments, not looks. Research shows you are more likely to get a response that way. Good luck!

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Online Dating For US Military Singles

 
Stuart Slann, father of one, has since been divorced by his wife Louise, 34, after she found out about the intended affair.
 
Stuart responded by saying, “There’s no doubt I’ve been done good and proper by the lads from Liverpool… It was cruel, but I’ll hold my hands up and say they really wound me up.”
 

All this over football?  The broken ankle and rib were not enough?  Something is wrong with all of these men, in my opinion.
 
(And I still think Facebook is too darn cumbersome to use.)

Post from: Blisstree

Another Facebook Divorce – Football Fans Fake A Fling

I’m down visiting my sister’s family and for some reason we can’t get my computer to recognize the internet connection here. I’m such a creature of habit and using someone else’s computer feels like I’m trying to type with my ear or something.

I’ve been chatting with someone on Plenty of Fish this week. He seems like a nice guy and his picture is cute. My friend noticed that he is “seperated,” not divorced or single.  I don’t know how I missed that and usually that’s a no, in my book.  Anyone who has every been through a divorce knows what a crazy time that can be.  I think I’m going to keep chatting, see what happens. He’s funny and he’s a decent speller. For some reason, that’s my current criteria. 

Do you use online dating? If you do, what is your online dating criteria?  Do you prefer never married? Divorced? With kids? Without? I usually pick divorced, with kids, pictures showing a love for the outdoors

Another thing I keep in mind is the wording that people use. I have a problem with some words or phrases, sort of instant turn-offs. For example, I’d like to meet someone who enjoys cuddling, but anybody who calls themself “cuddily,” or “a teddy bear,” well it is kind of creepy.  I don’t want a teddy bear. I want a man.

How about you?  Do you have certain “code” words that turn you off?

Post from: Blisstree

I’m Not Looking For A Teddy Bear

Mom is cute, petite and smiley. You’d think those mature men would be all over her profile, filling up her inbox. So far, no so much. One man who is 70 sent a greeting. Mom is a very young 63 – active, like I mentioned. I’m not sure that an older man, who is admittedly overweight and 70, is what she’s looking for. Not that I have a problem with people who are overweight (I’m soft and on the fluffy side myself right now), but if a man is not taking care of himself at that age, how much longer is he going to be around? 

Putting up an online dating profile, it just doesn’t seem to get the traffic that it used to get. I’ve noticed that with not only Mom’s profile, but a few of friends, and my own profile.  Even on free sites like Date.com and Plenty of Fish.  I wrote a couple of months ago about how the economy is supposedly making the online dating places surge with new daters. Then, I wrote that people aren’t dating as they can’t afford it. 

At this point, I’m leaning toward the decrease in daters, rather then the increase.  It’s possible that people are setting up profiles, but the economy is putting a damper on their enthusiasm to do anything about meeting anyone. That’s too bad, because when things get tough, we could all use a hug.  You need a partner for that.

Don’t forget to enter my giveaway.

Post from: Blisstree

My Mom and Date.com

Cherie shares advice on all aspects of setting up your online profile, including your pictures, your essay, your intro, and your search wording.  She talks about the next steps – making contact, dating, etc.

She writes in a conversational manner that is easy and entertaining to read. I don’t read a lot of nonfiction books, because my work is nonfiction and I’m immersed in facts and theories and products all day. I found Cherie’s book to be fun and I’m using her ideas to tweak my profile.

She gives great advice on that initial email, for example, keep it simple, direct, and to the point. Make a standard opener and go with it.  I’m not good at the initial email – I let them come to me and I think it’s time to change that approach. With Cherie’s tips I’m going to come up with something succinct and reach out to more men.  (Reach out to more men? That came out oddly…….)  In addition, I have to be less afraid of rejection, because the more people I talk to, the more chances I have to find someone great.  Burbach, herself, went on 60 dates in 6 months before finding her Mr. Right online – and then she married him.

In addition to writing books on dating and poetry, Cherie Burbach blogs here at b5media. You can find her at Career and Kids and the entertainment blog, JLo Stalker, among others.

Cherie is allowing me the opportunity to giveaway one of her books here at Dating Dames. If you’d like to enter the Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza giveaway, please leave a comment that has something to do with internet dating – either a tip or a story.  I will be announcing the winner of the book later in the week.

Image credit: Barnes and Noble.com

Post from: Blisstree

Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering A Pizza – Book Review and Giveaway

DownToEarth.com’s cornerstone feature, RealRatings™, encourages daters, after meeting in person, to rate the accuracy of the information provided in the other person’s profile. The five-star rating system allows daters to score the other person’s accuracy from ‘Not Even Close’ (one star) to ‘True to Life’ (five stars). Through actively encouraging daters to participate, DownToEarth.com empowers its community to create the dating environment they’re seeking.
 
DownToEarth.com is led by General Manager Jacob Solotaroff, an expert in online security and fraud prevention. Previously the Director of Member Integrity at Match.com, Solotaroff is credited with creating state-of-the-art technology to protect and enhance online dating.
 
“Singles are tired of the misrepresentation that takes place on free sites,” said Solotaroff. “DownToEarth.com’s RealRatings™ system encourages honest and respectful interactions, enabling our daters to create a trustworthy community.”
 
To see how the site is creating a new, free, trustworthy dating experience, visit DownToEarth.com

Post from: Blisstree

Match.com Announces New Free Site Down To Earth.com

At the free service, I have been “favorite-ed” by 5 men.  They have not contacted me in any way, just the favorite-ing. I find this odd. What do they do after that?  Do they think about writing to me?  Do they put me on list of people they will possibly contact? What are they waiting for?  It’s a mystery to me.

Over at Match.com, I’ve been contacted by one guy – he’s written to me twice to tell me that he’s busy and will write later. I did not write anything back after the second time. He lives about an hour away and if he doesn’t have time for an email, he’s not going to have time for a long distance relationship.

Another man, who sounded interesting and looked attractive, sent me an email when I (boldly) contacted him first. He answered it with something that went a bit like this:

I don’t know why I am using this service. I don’t really want to meet anyone, but you wrote a nice email, so I felt that I should answer it. I’ve only been single a short time. Women my age all have children. I miss my own children, who live across the country, too much to spend time with someone else’s children.

First I thought, well of course a damaged, hurting man has written to me – I’m a magnet for a man like that, but I felt bad for the man – he sounded so lonely and sad. (Are you beginning to see why I’m a magnet for a man like that?)  I wrote back and said that it didn’t sound like he was ready yet and that he had to do what felt right, when it felt right, or he wouldn’t be good for anyone. He probably has some outside influence encouraging him to get out there again, you know how well-meaning types can be with their inability to take no for answer. I think that it’s selfish to go into something with that much baggage, but even so, at first I thought about suggesting that we keep things casual.

Then, I thought, “What in the h&*l are you thinking? You do not need another project – you need a healthy available man.”  I’m not desperate. I do not need to settle for someone who doesn’t really want to meet me.  

I read today that Drew Barrymore is not a fan of internet dating or even texting.  I look at her and I can’t imagine her being dateless, she’s just too darn cute and charming, but then again, I bet it’s not easy to ask out a woman like Drew Barrymore.  I’ve read things that lead me to believe that she’s a bit old-fashioned. For example, she said something about her recent ex-boyfriend Justin Long about how he was a “gentleman caller” or “he came to call” or something like that.

Here is what she had to say about dating and the internet:

DREW BARRYMORE hates surfing the Internet for love – because it has taken all the romance out of dating.
The Charlie’s Angels star – who recently split up with the face of computer brand MAC Justin Long – confesses that even text messaging freaks her out – insisting she prefers the old fashioned ways of finding a man.
She says, “When I first started dating, it was like the Pony Express. We had to be frickin’ patient. And now everything is instantaneous. It’s too much! Where is old-fashioned romance and a little bit of mystery?”

She had me until she complained about instantaneous.  I’m not patient. She would be a good fit with Steve, who still is still MIA. That guy seems to feel that the waiting it the good part for some reason.  I’m all for mystery and old-fashioned romance, but I want it quick, baby.  Like this, yes thank you for holding the door for me, now I’ll race you to the car. Lets go!

Post from: Blisstree

Drew Barrymore Is No Fan of Internet Dating

I hope that you have something wonderful planned for tonight. If you don’t (like me) and you are staying home in your pjs (again, like me), remember that a new year can bring all sorts of surprises.  Keep your eyes and your mind wide open to the possibilities.

In the meantime, you might want to check out eHarmony’s Free Communication Weekend, which starts tomorrow and goes through the weekend.  When setting up your profile, remember Russ’s tips, and don’t be afraid to show off your personality.  You can’t use the fast track feature during eHarmony’s Free Communication Weekend, so get in there and get that profile put up right away on Thursday.

Post from: Blisstree

Happy New Year – Free Online Dating

Unfortunately, my profile is generating little or no interest. I do hear (rarely) from men who are 10-15 years older than me, but I don’t feel I am at the same place in my life as they are. At this point, I wouldn’t even mind hearing form some of the bozos Lara has had to deal with lately - at least it would mean I’m not invisible.

I read some of Russ’s posts on what to and not to do in terms of profiles. I went in this weekend and I added more of my personality to my intro – doing away with generalities like, “I’m up for anything.”  I had Bay, my teenager, look at my profile and photos. She hit me with her brutal honesty, which actually was not brutal at all. She suggested that I switch up my main profile photo to one where I’m smiling.

I think that it’s a good idea to switch the main photo periodically. I see many of the same men, with the same profile photos, from 3 years ago – the last time I was Match.com-ing it. Have these men been single this whole time?  

A few of my girlfriends have mentioned that they are also getting fewer than normal responses. If you are using an online service, I’d be interested in hearing how it’s going for you. I read that more people are subscribing to online services in these challenging economic times. Are they subscribing, but not dating?  What is the point of that?  Save your money, guys.

If you’ve had a profile up for a few months, I suggest you do the same thing I did this weekend - change up your photo, maybe add some new shots. Change your list of favorites or hobbies to something that reflects the season more, if you’ve got a lot of Summer activities listed. Rewrite your intro, so it sounds fresh and reflects more of the real you.

Then, please let me know if this makes a difference in your responses or lack of responses. I’m curious if this is seasonal thing or regional or…..I’m just very curious and hoping it does not mean that I’m unlovable.

Post from: Blisstree

Maybe I’m Unlovable

“Imperfection” by
enggul via Flickr

I know, I know… the way I see the world and it’s inhabitants is far different than the way others might see it. But damn it, I was talking to a guy on IM this morning and when we got to the part where I explain how and why I’m living with my dad, he suddenly disappeared. Actually, it went something like this:

Me: (explaining all the details of the past 7 years in brief, detailing the fact that I’m not a mooch, have lived on my own, financially independent, before for three years, etc.)
Him: And you’re how old again?
Me: 31
Him:
Me: Hello?
Him:
Me: (knowing what was going down) hahahahahahahaha
Him:
Me: (after 15 minutes of no replies) Something wrong?
Him: (signed off)

I can’t stand being judged on stupid stuff like that. Do people really think that despite my claims to the contrary, that I LIKE this living situation? I mean, I love my dad… 1000%. Love my mom that much too. But I’ve already lived on my own, completely self sufficient financially, and because I had a complete change around of my life (I used to be a zookeeper – it’s what I went to college for, and I now own a web development business) I had to make some changes. I floundered for a couple years, because my whole world was flipped upside down on me! But I’m here, and finally, 3 years into owning my business, can I say that the goal of buying my own house is visible to me on the horizon. How is this bad?

This was one of those things my ex used to throw in my face. I had an argument with a friend one day, and she used it against me as well. And now today, this guy who seemed kind of cool, bailed on me as soon as he read that I don’t live on my own (despite the fact that I pay all my own bills, and even contribute to the general household bills).

Keep in mind, I’m not crushed or emotionally devastated by this guy’s “bailure” (pun intended). In fact, I think he showed me a lot about who he is in the very short convo we did have. (He didn’t know what a blog was… for starters, there’s proof we’d have nothing in common!) He’d mentioned that he wanted to move out of NY (something I’ve considered but wouldn’t do for anyone except Mr. Absolutely Perfect.) He’d worked his way up with his questions trying to find out how much I make in a year. When I called him on it, he denied it, but I’m not stupid. My ex was a money focused person, too. I know the signs.

I just don’t understand why people just judge so much based on such stupid crap. I’m a pretty good person and friend. I’m a great girlfriend. I’m freaking awesome at being someone’s significant other. My life has NOT gone as I’d envisioned it all along, no. I’ve had to grow brand new dreams and goals for myself from the ground up. And I’m well on my way to reaching them. Doesn’t that count for something?

I swear, in the past 6 months between this guy, the guy who I haven’t heard from in a week since I told him that I knew his coworkers, and the guy who decided that I’m too loud, wear ghetto-fab earrings, and look “like the kind of girl who’d date a black guy” as if it were a bad thing, the uber clingy pink rose boy, the guy who guilt tripped me after I told him I wasn’t feelin’ it, and my ex… I don’t know what the hell to do, but I’m sure as heck going to put all that more energy into Being Fabulous all by myself at this point. Online dating is really freaking me out lately. What is WRONG with people!?!

Post from: Blisstree

It’s official. I hate online dating.