What happens to a child who grows up with virtually no parenting, love, affection or human touch? “Nearly everything we learn about being human—how to speak, how to walk, everything—comes from the people who raise us,” Oprah says. “Today, we’re going to look at what happens when nobody does.”

This was my son.

Dr. Bruce Perry, a Child psychiatrist featured on the Oprah show states that neglect is the absence of necessary stimulation in order to build a certain part of the brain. In order for children to learn, to stimulate areas of their brain they NEED stimulation. Without stimulation they will learn to stimulate them themselves or retract into themselves. Your brain will form differently.

Dr. Federici calls this Institutional Autism in Institutionalized children. But, what about biological children?

Dr. Perry calls this total global neglect. Read more

Every adoptive parents wants to believe that the place their child is in is perfect…that the caregivers are treating them as they would their own children. That is not always the case.

Caregivers are often overworked and underpaid. In fact, often times caregivers don’t even like their jobs and do not handle the children well. However, in countries like Guatemala it seems as if the foster mothers take great care in raising the children but one may never know what happens in the homes.

Abuse may be as simple as neglecting to change diapers or not feeding children often enough. Or, it may be as harsh as hitting them with brooms to keep them quiet.

Do you believe your child was abused?

Giardia is an intestinal parasite that. like all others, uses the host for infection. Giardia also infects dogs, cats, and beavers as well as humans and this is how water gets contaminated and infects humans.

People usually become infected either hand to mouth from unwashed hands or by drinking contaminated food or water. Children that live in orphanages are more prone to getting parasites like this because of the close living situations, the diapers, the care giver situations, etc. Most often the children live in close quarters with poor hygiene and there is little infection control. Read more

The first time I saw this I was so saddened that it was all I thought about all day. The images flooded my mind when I lay my head down to sleep.

Some,

It makes me think that AJ was one of the lucky ones to be placed in the orphanage. When you watch you will see that so many of the children are actually abandoned on the streets by their biological parents and know their parents don’t want them. What that does to their emotional state I can’t imagine. like Slava, run away because of the home-life; alcoholism, violence, neglect.Some are left without papers, which I can only assume means they can’t travel anywhere or ask for help from an orphanage (without proof of identity how can you prove who you are?). One child stated that at age five his parents left him on the street with this papers and he was able to make his way to an orphanage. Lucky kid.Most of these children endure harsh temperatures in the winter, little food, and most turn to prostitution and drugs early to make money.

Read more

Back in September I wrote about Nebraska’s new Safe Haven law and how I thought the state was not going to be equipped to deal with the influx of children they were going to see.

As of yet, no children have been dropped off but I am wondering what will happen when they do…

is Nebraska’s foster care system ready for emotional and physical special needs children?

Did they recruit more foster parents with those skills and certifications?

Do they have interim care for infants?

This past weekend the country celebrated National Adoption Day. Nebraska lawmakers are in session to amend the “safe haven” law because they have had over 30 children abandoned by parents since it’s inception in July. Lawmakers now want an age restriction put on the law, an attempt to limit the numbers of older children abandoned.

According to a recent article in USA Today (Emily Bazar and Wendy Koch), 31 children have been abandoned, 17 of them teens. However, the law was initially meant to protect infants and has since had unintended consequences.

It seems pretty obvious that Nebraska has unintentionally highlighted a severe problem with our troubled families. Records show that those children who were abandoned came from homes that had mental health care, jail time, and were often from single family homes.

Certainly, being from a single family home does not equal a troubled child, nor does it mean that the parent is overwhelmed to the point that they can no longer care for their child. However, mix the single parent with a significant other or spouse in jail, depression, and a difficult economic situation and one may also have a trouble child.

So, what is a state like Nebraska to do? Do they lower the age limit?

Do they offer more foster care for these children?

Do they offer MORE services to these parents?

Do they provide institutional care like Mooseheart wherein children are given care and still have families.

Read More

The Abandoned Children of Nebraska -Time Magazine

Nebraska: 5-Year-Old Dropped Off - New York Times

Safe Haven or Last Resort - CBS News

If you are a regular reader of this site (or have read My Two Boys in the past) you will know AJ’s history with food and with his digestive system. He has struggled with foods since we adopted him and I assume he struggle much more even before that but the orphanage probably did not notice.

What does AJ have issues with? At first he would not eat anything with an acidic nature; apples, pears, peaches, etc. He craved milk and graham crackers because they coated his stomach. We then tested and treated him for H Pylori, a bacterial infection that increases acid in the stomach and could eventually have caused ulcers. After that we found that he was lactose and gluten intolerant (due to the H Pylori).

We eventually did additional allergy testing and found that he was allergic to oats and bananas (bananas can be quite serious because they are cross reactive with all pit fruits and with latex). Over the last two years we have found that although some foods do not show up on his allergy tests he is cross-reactive to them because of the bananas. He is also allergic to kiwi, chestnut, avocado, peppers, mangoes, SHELLFISH, and we think peaches. All of those foods cause him stomach problems. Chestnuts and peppers caused a rash.He also has trouble with foods called salicylates. We found this out because we did an elimination diet to determine his food intolerance and allergies (because he was having so many digestive problems). Foods high in salicylates: Food Guide

The great thing lately is that we have been able to add some things back into his diet and he loves the variety. We have added back some corn in the form of chips (crunchies), some more veggies (cucumber, cooked sweet potato, and he loved onion but had trouble with it), whole milk, and cheese.

Yes, I said WHOLE MILK and CHEESE.

AJ is on a casein free diet because of his lactose issues but we have recently found that he can have Kefir, a form of yogurt that he used to have in Russia. I have been trying to get him to eat it since he got home but he has refused…until they started making ProBugs for kids. It has all the benefits of whole milk but no lactose! Head to the LifeWay home site to learn more about it and play some games!

If your store does not carry it just ask. I did and they now get it for us!

And, I found out that hard cheddar has no lactose either! And, he loves it on his pizza.

Children from institutions are often deprived of sensory motor development, an environment enriched with stimulation and human interaction. More often than not, caregivers are overburdened with tasks and the environment is run down and certainly not optimal for children to learn and stimulate their brains.

We know that AJ was in one of these deprived environments for two years.

However, after adoption, he says, “these children go from the most deprived environments to some of the most enriched ones. In one day, these children become part of well-educated, affluent, stable and loving families.” They now live in what Pollak calls an “optimal environment” for children.

Yet, as the children adjust to their new surroundings, they continue to experience a number of physical and behavioral problems, such as ear and gastrointestinal infections, malnutrition and delayed growth. These problems, says Pollak, generally vanish within a year of the children’s arrival in the United States.

For some children, physical and behavioral problems persist. These include difficulties learning and forming social bonds, says Pollak. As a result, he adds, the children are often diagnosed with intellectual delays, attachment disorders and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

The behaviors that relate to attention are actually linked to the pre-frontal cortex and controlled by the cerebellum, as are motor skills. These are the last parts of the brain to develop and can continue to develop for years after birth.

The NY Times recently had an article on this (with fabulous graphics) and it gives me great hope for AJ’s brain development.

The BBC has pictures of an orphanage in Zone 10, an affluent area of Guatemala City where over 100 children reside with caregivers 24 hours a day. Officials estimate that there are over 500 private homes caring for infants and children in Guatemala.

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I’ve picked this up from the Anti-racist Parent who picked it up from NPR’s piece on This American Life.

I love the post because it actually analyzes the demographics…it doesn’t just tell the story of little girls choosing a doll.

Ah, the joys of parenting, right? All of us parents, whether adoptive parent or biological parents have been dealt with our fair share of poop…some more than others. Some of us have had all the poop we ever, ever want.

Many children from Eastern European orphanages have issues with constipation, encopresis, and holding their bowels. In fact, our son has problems with all three because of medical reasons, learned behaviors, and a drastic change in diet. Read more