I received a response from a person who obviously has a lot of anger built up inside them… one who is trying to preach peace. I will show portions of their response. Theirs is on the color block and my rebuttal is underneath.

Steve,

I ‘StumbledUpon’ this posting; rarely do I reply but this posting is so riddled with self-incrimininating and offensive material, frankly I don’t know where to start.

Remember this is my personal blog. If you don’t like it nobody is keeping you here. Remember my right to free speech.

1. Above all, there’s a deep insensitivity here – you should really have thought harder about how this might have sounded to the parents of the 32 children who were tragically ‘hunted’ down last month. Or for that matter, any parent of the 16,000 shootings that fatally kill a child (no matter how old) each year in this country.

I understand your concern for the victims who were killed at Virginia Tech. And I know all people are stunned. But if I were a parent who had a child killed just like what was done at VA, or Columbine for that matter, I would be angry at the people who made it possible for my children to not be able to defend themselves. Taking the guns out of the law abiding citizens allowed this freak to accomplish what he did. The only thing I think was wrong, is that this guy should not have been able to purchase his weapons legally based on his history. That is where the system failed.

But again, playing with toy guns doesn’t make people grow up to be killers.

2. Not only does a posting like this give Bloggers a bad rap it helps perpetuate the notion that dads are neanderthals when it comes to being responsible, thoughtful parents.

Right on brotha… First off I don’t care for the reputation of bloggers as we are all different and unique human beings and not lumped under one stereotype these days. Secondly for somebody to think ALL dads are not responsible parents because one blogger in the blogosphere has an opinion is their problem not mine.

3. So when exactly is a hunter not a killer? When you’re hunting to survive, when it’s desperation, or when it’s just a fun pastime to kill a defenseless animal? Judging by your video you’re above the poverty line so I have to conclude the latter. Is it God’s will for you to kill unnecessarily, I wonder?

Sure what about the butcher. If it wasn’t for the butcher we would have to hunt to survive. But since we have become a prosperous country we pay others to raise our livestock and slaughter them. Just because a person chooses to go out and get their meat these days and not purchase from the grocery store doesn’t make them any worse than the butcher so you can drive your frickin Volvo to the Supermarket (hit a couple squirrels on the way) and pick up that nice slap of meat.

To say I live above the poverty line is getting a bit personal don’t you think there Petie?? I know what it is like to live paycheck to paycheck. And if you have a problem with my lifestyle don’t let that get in your way a$$hole. I shoot my own meat because it saves me money, it keeps me close to nature, it helps regulate the herds, and it bonds me to my children and family. So I don’t kill unnecessarily you uninformed waste of life. It is people like you who are killing this country so please for the sake of our great nation do us all a favor and take you and your kind and move to Europe. We don’t want you.

4. Aside from the shameful wastefulness of hunting, I fail to see the purpose / usefulness of what you’re teaching your children. Idealogically, aren’t we having children these days to create a better group of people for the future, a more rounded society, smarter, more sensitve to the world we inhabit albeit a brief occupancy. A society that is free of the quirks and flaws that hampered us and our own anticedents? Isn’t that the responsibility of being a parent – to create a better version of yourself? Isn’t it upto our children to decide if they want to live with the gun or not – letting them play with them at an earlier age is hardly creating a neutral starting point, now is it?

Hunting is not wasteful you tool. For those who choose not to hunt, they just let others raise up animals only to be slaughtered. Just because you don’t see the meat cleaver slicing through the livestock doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Hunting is not only the best way at managing our herds but it is necessary for our health. Meat products are a very important and large part of a balanced diet. Hunting for your own food or having someone else slaughter the cow is a choice. For someone who is a free thinker I am shocked to see how intolerant you are to other people’s views unless they coincide with your own.

Just because something has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it is outdated which a lot of people seem to think so. But, the gun is not going away. You can try to get rid of them but you are only taking the ability to defend one’s self away and leaving the gun in the criminal’s hand. We need to get to the root of the problem and it is not simply taking guns away.

Metaphorically take a tree as a symbol of a problem. Why spend time ripping off the leaves one by one. Once you do that the leaves will just grow back. It is because picking off the leaves only hides the problem momentarily and doesn’t really solve the problem. It would be best to cut the tree down at its roots right. I believe the root of the problem lies deeper than just guns. It is the person who picks that gun up and plans out a way to kill innocent people.

Here is a question. Do you think cars should be outlawed? In other words, should all cards be banned and people must resort to walking or the bicycle?

Cars accidents are the number one killer of all children. Guns are a small percentage.

Try to think a little harder before you go public with something like this and help the world be a better place; putting a toy gun in the hands of a child teaches them one thing. A gun is fun, it’s good to shoot and I’ll shoot whatever I like.

I have thought long and hard and I am saddened to think a person feels the way you do. Putting a toy gun in the hands of a child does nothing of what you describe. You are deceived. Kids know the difference between a toy and the real thing. We put kids in toy cars which is the number one killer of teens. We place them in fake cars even though it is illegal for them to drive. “Oh dear lord… our poor poor children will grow up to think driving cars is just fun… oh my god… we must ban all toy cars…. LOL”

So before you post stupid and moronic statements that only hurts your deceived and warped liberal view on society maybe YOU should think a little harder before you go public with them. Base your statements from fact and not from emotion and you may get a little more respect.

The End

Post from: Blisstree

A Response to the Liberal Minded Mentality Regarding Gun Control

Rebel Dad posted a cool link to a website called Evolution of Dad. It is a “Documentary in Progress” about the evolving American father. What is an evolving dad?

“He is a nurturing father who is as involved as possible in the upbringing of his children.”

So what is this project about?

The Evolution of Dad is a documentary-in-progress about what it means to be a nurturing, involved, contemporary American father. The film will explore how fatherhood has evolved over time, what its impact has been on family and society; and lastly, how fatherhood will likely continue to evolve. The overall intention is to create a film that is inspiring, thought-provoking and profound.

And how do you get evolved and participate in this?

The Evolution of Dad Project is seeking involved fathers to be subjects in the film. Please submit a short essay (500 word maximum) describing what makes your experience as a dad unique and compelling. Please be sure to include all the necessary contact info and send to:

submissions@evolutionofdad.com

Please be patient and we will respond to every submission. Thank you!

Maybe I will submit an application. I am a nurturing dad of 5 kids under the age 7. Now if that isn’t evolved I don’t know what would be.

Post from: Blisstree

Get Evolved, The Evolution of Dad

Now that the military openly allows women to enroll what happens when daddies are left home with the kids? We normally hear about men going off to war and leaving their wives and children at home. There is a new article that just came out about a father named Larry McCrum who is now “Mr. Mom” (I hate that term) because his wife was deployed to Afghanistan. He is now left home with 3 young children, oldest being in 8th grade.

When we talk about soldiers marching off to war, we usually think of men leaving behind wives and children.

But there are plenty men who are left behind because their wives are deployed.

Larry McCrum became ‘Mr. Mom’ when his soldier-wife, Julie, was sent to Afghanistan for a year.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a wonderful thing even though times seriously have changed. I have heard more stories just like this in the last few years.

Post from: Blisstree

When Mommies Head Off to War

Which commercials am I talking about? How about the one where dad is left home alone with his one year old and it is dinner time. The child is in the high-chair and dad persisting to read the paper. The child begins to throw food and dad sits there and ignores it all as food sporadically hits the back of the newspaper he is reading. “Want to get away?”

Dad appears as an out of touch parent who has not a hint of discipline and would rather be off golfing with the “guys” than spending time with his kid. Granted there are dads who prefer to go golfing with his buddies or out fishing… or anywhere but in the kitchen while their 1 year old chucks food at him while trying to relax.

I figured there wasn’t anything I could do to sway these stereotypes from coming out in commercials. Heck it was hard enough witnessing to people one person at a time, trying to break them of the stupid dad stereotype… that I figured changing the way dads are portrayed on my television set was a little far fetched. But apparently there is a campaign out there that has raised money for this actual issue. The campaign is targeting anti-father, anti-male TV commercials. Can this actually be true? Apparently so.

In November, 2004 we launched the Campaign Against Anti-Father Verizon Commercial, asking Verizon to stop running the commercial “Homework.” In that ad a bumbling father tries to help his little daughter with her homework and is treated with contempt by both the girl and her mother, who orders the father to “leave her alone” and “go wash the dog.” Our campaign made 300 newspapers, and the Verizon ad stopped running a few weeks later. . . . Today we are launching another campaign to combat anti-male advertising. Currently, several advertising agencies are competing for a $150 million advertising contract from Volvo. The agency which is the apparent favorite to win the contract is Arnold Worldwide, the creator of several anti-male commercials. Another, Euro RSCG, currently creates ads for Volvo, and created “Rosi,” a popular, father-friendly Volvo ad. . . . We are asking Volvo not to award the contract to Arnold Worldwide and instead award it to one of the other agencies, preferably Euro RSCG. .

So what’s your #1 pet peeve anti-father commercial?

Post from: Blisstree

Good Dads vs TV Commercials

Over at Dad Center, Todd Krater who authors the A Man Among Mommies blog, writes an article about how it feels to be a stay at home father. It is worth a read.

What I did not realize was that I apparently had some terrible disfigurement that scared the local moms away. If I did not make it a point to go to the park when others did, my son would have never seen another child outside of his brother. After a few months it became clear that many of the moms were ignoring me, and the dads thought I was lazy. Even though I actually work from home, I would get comments like Mr. Mom , Work from home? Yeah, OK. and so on.

Read full article

Post from: Blisstree

A Man Among Mommies

—–

The Stay at Home Dad is becoming more and more common these days but still an interesting breed that stirs up controversy from time to time. SAHD stereotypes surface and we find ourselves lumping us all into one big category. But thanks to hlei for staying on top of things for me this week while I played in the snow and took care of our newborn child and pointing me to a survey in an attempt to learn more about who Stay at Home Dads are.

If you are a stay at home dad rush over and fill out the survey and let us know what you thought of it.

Thank you for your interest in participating in a study on stay-at-home fathers (SAHFs). You were likely referred to this link by a fellow SAHF, friend, or an online website/community dedicated to SAHFs. Your participation should take roughly 15-25 minutes and will contribute to an important area of research.

Once you complete the survey, please help spread the word to other stay-at-home fathers by referring them to the study link at: http://www.hostedsurvey.com/takesurvey.asp?c=SAHF.

Again, thank you for your contribution to this under-studied area of research. To review the consent form and begin the study, click on “Read Informed Consent.” This study has been approved by the Institutional Review Board (IRB) of the University of Texas at Austin (IRB #2006-11-0074).

Other blogs I have seen that are spreading this survey are Rebel Dad, Stroller Derby, and Daddy Zine.

Post from: Blisstree

Stay at Home Dad Survey

But what about Stay at Home Dads? If marriage is the same and we have several children but the dad stays home is that considered traditional? No not really, as it is a new concept ever since the rise of women in the work place and filling important positions. The rise of Stay at Home Dads I believe is because there is a rise in equal opportunities for the other spouse…. the wife in this case.

But Long Island Dad, isn’t saying he looks down on non-traditional families, but the attacks on the traditional family is something that is driving him nuts. In fact, it is driving me nuts too. But what is really happening here? I mean there are single women having children without the presence of men, and as a premeditated decision. I am not speaking of all gay people but I had a conversation last summer with a gay woman who rolled her eyes and basically looked down on the fact I was raising a somewhat traditional family. As if it was some “old school” and outdated option. I wasn’t outright ridiculed but the next thing that came out of her mouth was “well, ain’t you just a good ol’ boy?”

Is this a way to justify their own actions as if maybe they are questioning whether or not what they are doing is right or wrong? I mean I don’t know. But why attack marriage and the traditional role when love is love? I mean heck, I didn’t say to myself that I wanted to get married to a woman and then have 3.6 kids because that is what families were like back in the day. I got married because I loved somebody. As a result of that love we had kids.

But Long Island Dad says it best:

People get married as a natural progression of their relationships. Not because they need to be recognized by some legal entity or validated by a religious faith. People get married to show a commitment to each other; some do it before God, and some before a judge. By doing it, they say, “I have chosen you. I love you. I am committed to us,” the union itself creates exclusivity.

But could it be that untraditional families have been ridiculed for so long and found unaccaptable in our society that it causes people to get angry at the norm… that being normal, or traditional, is not good?

What are your thoughts on the issue? I would like to hear what you have to say about the increase in attacks on traditional style families.

Post from: Blisstree

The Attack on Marriage and Traditional Families

Now, I understand in most cases people aren’t trying to call me a woman. I understand that really. But what drives me nuts is people think all my wife does is work and neglect the kids, and on the flip side all I do is wear an apron and vacuum. Stereotypes!

So the jerk that I am, I replied yesterday with “Role reversal? What do you mean?” See I was baiting and prepared for what was to come since I had been in this same situation many times in the past. “Well you stay home with the kids right?” she insisted.

“Why yes I stay home with the kids still, but what do you mean role reversal?” I asked.

She looks at me for a minute, “Well your wife works and you stay home, ain’t that a role reversal?”

Oh man, I was so fortunate to get a question just like that. “Well, yes and no” I added. “If it is a role reversal then why am I moving and stacking 10 cords of wood, painting the house, mowing the lawn, and making household repairs?”

Her reply followed by a chuckle, “Ok I get your point!”

I am not trying to really be a jerk in these situations but rather educate people who are so quick to call my situation a role reversal. I am sure my wife wouldn’t appreciate it either. But hey I understand people aren’t really thinking when they say role reversal. I bet if they thought about it long enough they would assume it wasn’t a “true” role reversal. But, hey I can’t help myself.

Post from: Blisstree

Role Reversal, or is it?

This article I just contributed is titled: Putting in an Order for a Boy.

Simply because we have 3 girls and 1 boy, there have been lots of comments on what our new child in January should be. In those lots of comments there are tons of orders put in for a boy. Well, you can go read what I have to say in response to those orders.

Post from: Blisstree

Putting in an Order for a Boy

But, according to psychologists every decision you make in life is influenced by how you were raised. So, I would have to say “yes” to this question. Do I think it has had the most influence on my decision? Maybe not. This is a difficult question to answer. It’s difficult to really pinpoint any specific childhood incidences or memories that may have directly impacted me to make the decision to become a Stay at Home Dad. But if we want to generalize this a bit I would have to say that no matter who we are today, whether it be a doctor, professional baseball player, lawyer, Walmart employee, or a stay at home dad, our childhood has had somewhat of an influential factor in our decision to become who we are.

Here are some things that I think would influence our decisions:

Religious Background
I think this could be a biggy here. How we were raised and taught religiously will impact every decision we make. There are many different religions out there and you could have been raised in any number of those. In fact, you could agree with your religious background or you could have even rebelled against it. But either way your religious beliefs, no matter what they are, will impact every decision you make. There are some people who believe their religion teaches them that the man has to be the primary breadwinner and the wife must be in complete submission to the husband. Others don’t. Whether you were brought up in a household who preached on this could very well make a huge impact on your decision.

Political Background
Are you a democrat or a republican? Are you somewhere in between or out in left field? If you are way into politics you may find one situation over the other is best according to your political agenda.

Family Dynamics
Were you brought up with a mother who stayed home, a father who worked long hours, and 5 other siblings? Or maybe you never knew your dad and you were the only child? You and your mom make up your family? Or maybe even something more untraditional like lesbian or gay parents. Or you could even be brought up in a family with several step parents and siblings. Maybe your grandmother raised you. Or were you adopted? Whatever your family dynamics were growing up will have a huge impact on your decisions in life.

Family Heritage
Here is another big one. Are your grandparents Italian, Mexican, English, Spanish, German, or Indian?? Maybe your great grandparents came to America on a big boat one day and brought with them family tradition and heritage from their country. What was passed down to you from your family’s upbringing will affect your own upbringing.

Demographics
Where do you live? Do you live in the mountains and ski 6 out of 7 days a week or do you live in the desert? If you grew up in the Northern states where there is a lot of snow your hobbies would be a lot different than if you grew up in the sunny south. Where you live impacts your decisions and your behaviour and, in turn, influences our decisions down the road.

Education
This speaks for itself. People who are well educated make different decisions than those who are not. The way you think is shaped by the things you have read, studied, written, and even how well you scored on tests. You might be a business student, a law student, a physcial education student, and so on. No matter what you decide to do in school will impact your decisions later. Professors can really shape how you think by their style of teaching as well.

Personality
Personality is a strong trait in each of us that plays a big part in our behaviour and decision making process. Though we are tossed into certain influential backgrounds our personaility tells us what to do with those influences. For instance, did you go to that church with your parents or did you rebel? Or maybe you went to church with them but were never really into it. Your personality juggles these influences and tells you how to behave.

Friends
And of course most of us all have had friends growing up. Your personality and all the other influential factors may determine who your friends are but your friends can really impact you. There is nothing like peer pressure. Were you pressured into doing drugs? Or maybe they helped you stay away from them. It is amazing how our behaviour can be shaped by the strong influence of our friends.

So let’s sum it up for me. All of these things in my life have played a huge role in my decision to stay home. Can you think of any other things in life that may determine who we are? If so, please feel free to share them with us.

Post from: Blisstree

Did My Background Influence Me to Become a Stay at Home Dad?