I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

And ends;

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But – more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

‘I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

Please, read the entire piece here.

[Thanks John B.]

Post from: Blisstree

I Stand At The Door

Considering Bill Wilson was in an alcoholic stupor, I doubt he really perceived it this way until much later.

From page 196 of “The Language of the Heart” Bill tells us;

“In the late summer of 1934, my well-loved alcoholic friend and schoolmate, Ebbie, had fallen in with these good folks (the Oxford Group) and had promptly sobered up. Being an alcoholic, and rather on the obstinate side, he hadn’t been able to ‘buy’ all the Oxford group ideas and attitudes. Nevertheless, he was moved by their deep sincerity and felt mighty grateful for the fact that their ministrations had, for the time being, lifted his obsession to drink.”

First Things First. We all know that Ebbie’s obsession returned. That is a fact to be paid attention to. Secondly, Ebbie didn’t buy into all the group ideas. I think that is probably understandable. I’ve been around long enough to know that there are ideas that creep in (yep, the disease is alive) and influence some while others don’t buy in. For ex., last night I heard someone say that they heard in a meeting that no one has the “right” to pray for others. That is pure insanity and whoever (if it is factual) is spreading that crap, needs a reality check. I don’t have the right to pray for my family? I don’t think so and don’t ever attempt to force that on me.

So – Bill Wilson identifies unknowingly;

When he arrived in New York in the late fall of 1934, Ebbie thought at once of me. On a bleak November day he rang me up. Soon he was looking at me across our kitchen table at 182 Clinton Street, Brooklyn, New York. As I remember that conversation, he constantly used phrases like these:

“I found I couldn’t run my own life,”
“I had to get honest with myself and somebody else,”
“I had to make restitution for the damage I had done,”
“I had to pray to God for guidance and strength, even though I wasn’t sure there was any God,”
“And after I’d tried hard to do these things I found that my craving for alcohol left.”

Then over and over, Ebbie would say something like this: “Bill, it isn’t a bit like being on the water-wagon. You don’t fight the desire to drink – you get released from it. I never had such a feeling before.”

As Bill says later those words “hit me like tons of bricks.”

(You can see the original kitchen table here at the Stepping Stones web site. About halfway down the page.)

Post from: Blisstree

Across The Kitchen Table

“In the course of writing my two latest A.A. History titles – The Conversion of Bill W. and Introduction to The Sources and Founding of Alcoholics Anonymous, I had occasion to look much more deeply into the Silkworth/Wilson/A.A. links.

First, as to resources, there are none better for me than Dale Mitchel’s Silkworth: The Little Doctor Who Loved Drunks and the Silkworth website.

Second, because Mitchel dug into Silkworth family papers, we can see much more about the good doctor’s belief in healing by religious means.

Third, some of the newly unearthed facts are these: Silky belonged to Sam Shoemaker’s Calvary Episcopal Church in New York and also attended Norman Vincent Peale’s church; and as their friend also, he was privy to a good many religious ideas with which he inculcated Bill Wilson in the pre – ”hot flash” days at Towns Hospital. Silky was also conversant with the William James Varieties title which documented the many healings by conversion that had taken place in the missions over the years. Silky also appears to have been familiar with Carl Jung’s prescription of conversion as a cure for alcoholism.

Not only does history now flesh out these points; but the points themselves make clear how Bill Wilson’ first and foremost solution to the alcoholism problem was conversion. Bill’s grandfather Willie had been converted and healed of alcoholism. Bill was told by Dr. Silkworth that he could be cured by Jesus Christ, the Great Physician. Bill was told by Ebby that conversion was available at the altar at Calvary Rescue Mission, and Bill went there and made a decision for Christ – writing in two different places that he had “for sure been born again.”

Bill staggered on to Towns Hospital and declared that if there were a Great Physician, he’d better call on Him. And this he did – having a conversion experience almost identical to that which his grandfather had had years before – and with the same result: sober for life. Then, when both Silkworth and Lois Wilson confirmed to Bill that he had experienced a genuine conversion, Bill spent the rest of the day studying the William James book which had been given to him by either Ebby or Rowland.

Bill saw the many recorded instances of conversions and cure by the power of God; and he concluded that his own conversion was valid and established the validity of the solution Jung had prescribed for Rowland. The bottom line is that “conversion” became the A.A. solution – both in Bill’s mind as he expressed the idea on page 191 of the Big Book; and in Akron where surrender to Jesus Christ was a mandatory part of the A.A. program.

And what’s the point?

Well most AAs have never heard these historical points; most AAs have no realization that the Oxford Group expressions (spiritual experience and spiritual awakening) were Oxford Group expressions referring to dynamic life-change, whereas the conversion experience was what Carl Jung, Rowland Hazard, Ebby Thacher, Sam Shoemaker, Dr. Silkworth, and the Missions were tendering to drunks. And with great success.

I hope this new data will help correct so much of the confusion today about what a “spiritual experience” or a “spiritual awakening” are and exemplify how they differ from the original “conversion” experience that Bill had. For it was Bill’s conversion that topped the list of items that Bill was asked over the years to keep recounting.”

God Bless,

Dick B.

Thanks Dick… [it was waaaaaay too long for a simple comment ]

Post from: Blisstree

Dick B On Dr. Silkworth

StepStudy.org – Twelve Step History and Theory

Having discovered the AA History Lovers Group at Yahoo recently, I’ve been led to many new resources (for me) and I continue to find new information and knowledge. It’s all good!

I did not know that there was a timeline for the development of our Twelve Steps that began in 1908! Now I know

The Twelve Steps began to form with the conversionary experience of Frank Buchman, the originator of The Oxford Group. I’d certainly suggest you click through and read this page then go on to investigate the entire StepStudy.org site. I would like to mention and quote this specific written portion considering how we, today, make sure we tell newcomers the steps are in order for a reason, lol…

“It is not difficult to see the seed of the 12 Steps in Buchman’s experience. The sermon on the Crucifixion gives Buchman the chance to take a moral inventory (step 4). Realizing his powerlessness over his sin (step 1), he fully believes that God can change him (step 2), and so Buchman surrenders himself to God (step 3) and asks God to remove his shortcomings (steps 6&7). Buchman then asks for and receives God’s guidance (step 11). When God tells him to make things right with the hospice Board, Buchman becomes willing to make amends to the Board, and then does so by writing the letters (steps 8&9). Buchman shares the whole experience with his companions at tea (step 5), and then helps a young man to have a similar experience of his own (step 12).

If the comparison of Buchman’s converison experience to the Steps feels jumbled and awkward, it is because Buchman’s experience is the type of spontaneous event that the Steps are meant to systematically reproduce.”

So… I’ll leave you with this thought (hehehe) – Rule 62!

Post from: Blisstree

Another Twelve Step Discovery