Memories Image: sxc.hu

Seniors have so much to offer. They have time, wisdom, energy, and stories to tell. Having grandchildren around is often a great gift for them. This allows for them to speak freely about things they remember from when they were young. Some grandparents may benefit from visiting grandchildren because their memories come back to them when they see the smile of their grandchild. Working the memory is a good thing for older adults.  So the next time you are around Grandma, ask her something about the holiday season when she was young!

We also don’t realize how much we wish we had written down these memories or recorded them in some way.  After grandparents are gone, we don’t recall their stories in enough detail.  However, jot down, in words and pictures, what they’ve told you.  Spend time with grandparents and their memories. 

My daughter has admonished, “Mom, write down your memories…for me and the grandchildren.”

We also can record the present events (which will become memories) by recording them in a journal.  One lady told me she’s compiling a Holiday Journal.  Here she writes down what she and her family do for each holiday.

What about you?

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Reader Shares Thoughts of Seniors’ Memories

Oh, I know it isn’t totally the same but in many ways my oldest daughter is an indispensable part of my social life – what little I have. At 27 she gives me great advice about hair, make-up, and clothes. She has known me for a long time and of anyone she knows my flaws… and loves me anyway. My son in law is much the same…except I don’t usually take his advice about makeup and clothes. He is good for a hug almost anytime and as the years have passed he has become more and more part of me – like one of my own kids.

My daughter and son in law, Erin and Jon

One thing I am learning is boundaries. This isn’t easy for me because I have not really been allowed to have them  for most of my life. Because I didn’t have them I didn’t understand how to honor them in others. It made for a rocky first few years in my daughter’s marriage as I tried to pass on my own advice and knowledge (some good…some not) to my daughter and her husband. In reality I should have been supporting my son in law and his wife.

Do you get the difference?

In the past few months I have had to learn about boundaries in my own life. I have had to learn to say, “I love you but I can’t do what you think I should.” I have had to learn to accept people’s opinions as just that. Opinions.

This has been good for me. Not only has it strengthened my character but it has allowed me an understanding of the importance of honoring the boundaries of other people – and not just honoring those boundaries but loving the person although I don’t always agree. Maybe I don’t know everything after all.

I guess it boils down to allowing my kids to grow up and become adults who make mistakes and have successes completely removed from any input from me. For them, it means allowing mom to be more than mom. At some point the adult child and the parent of the adult child have to look at each other and recognize that the love is eternal but the relationship has changed.

I am so thankful for the two adults pictured above.  I don’t do everything the way they would want me to but they love me enough to respect and pray for me. I appreciate that.

image: Swiped from Erin Audet Myer’s Facebook by Marye Audet

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Parent to Friend: When Your Kid Grows Up

Gossip Image: sxc.hu

There may be nothing wrong with the e-mail, but has more private details than you feel the world should know.  It also has the potential of offending any people you may have mentioned.

Some people have no qualms about airing their clean and dirty laundry, their innermost feelings, family secrets, their financial challenges on social sites where the whole world has access.  Even if you’ve only admitted specific people as your friends, posting to them, replying to them expands the circle of people who have access to your information.  Also, those friends may decide to make it more public without your permission.

So…teach your children that if they want privacy, they need to be very careful about what they post and to whom they post.  Young people, as well as older, don’t seem to realize the ramifications of the Internet and how it can spread information you don’t want made public or in the way you may have expressed it to a close friend or relative.

The same goes for text messaging.  You may find that someone is posting your private texts to them on social media.  They simply want to share, but perhaps it isn’t something you want shared with everyone.  They really should ask your permission because, by copyright law, you own what you wrote and pictures you took.  However, most people are ignorant of this.

The lesson seems to be….THINK before you write to ANYONE or post anything.  What you write and pictures you take may reach the world without you wanting them to.

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Privacy No Longer Private on the Internet

10Tips For Great Parenting via Mrs PiggleWiggle

1. Engage your child’s imagination: Whether it is chores or overcoming a bad habit give your child the skills to think outside of the box.
2. Be his/her number one fan and forever cheerleader. There are billions of people in the world that are queuing up to tell your kid what a failure he is. It doesn’t have to come from you. Even if there are things that he doesn’t do well you can always find something positive to say! Remember Power of Life and Death?
3. Allow him to learn from his own mistakes as much as possible. This means standing back and allowing him to experience the consequences of his actions.
4. Help you child put himself in other’s shoes. Didn’t feed the dog? Maybe skipping lunch or a snack might be in order.
5. Care about the kids more than the stuff. Children should be taught to be careful with things and take care of what they have; however when you find that you are yelling or spanking excessively because a child broke an antique vase then you are the one with the problem. The message you are sending is “my stuff is more important than you”.
6. Let the punishment fit the crime. I had a child that would kick holes in the wall in a temper. Used to send the child out side to kick the brick trim on the house until she didn’t feel like kicking walls anymore. Didn’t hurt her OR the wall.
7. Listen with your heart.
8. Keep them busy with a good balance of play and chores and time to be bored.
9. Make memories.
10. Never lose the wonder and magic of childhood.

image: Taken by Erin Audet Myers, collection of marye audet

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Parenting According to Mrs. PiggleWiggle

Weird hair image: sxc.hu

Generally these are phases that young adults, teens and youngsters go through.  Much has to do with the movies, tv, and current styles they see in magazines and on the Internet.  So much of this goes in cycles.

I’ve noticed this year, in my work with youngsters and teens, that hair colors and styles are getting more normal for the most part.  Youngsters, who may have unusual hair styles (with parental consent or design, when very small) often discontinue these when they’re older.  Whether this is from peer pressure or their own decision not to be so different, I don’t know.  Probably some of both.  Other times they will try something different if their friends are for awhile.

There isn’t much as a grandparent one can do except express your opinion in a diplomatic manner, compliment when you see something you like, make suggestions if you have the relationship where you can, and wait for this cycle to pass. 

What do you think?  What has been your experience?

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If Your Grandchild Has Weird Hair Color

Enjoying the rain image: sxc.hu

 During my substitute teaching recently, I spent three days with a second grade class,  and they were focusing on weather in reading, science, math, art  and writing. 

We read Tomi de Paola’s The Cloud Book and discussed the various types of clouds described.  They drew pictures and did a math paper about clouds.  Then they began making a cloud booklet, using worksheets their teacher had provided.    Some of the students became so enthusiastic, they wanted to create their original cloud booklet when they had free time.

We watched a video on weather, learned about tornadoes and hurricanes, blizzards, frost and snowflakes and weather myths.  (A book we didn’t read, but which I would have used if the teacher had been out longer, is Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin.  This is about the man who first photographed snowflakes.)  Some of the youngsters cut out snowflakes, an activity the art teacher also did with them later that day.

I found this unit so interesting that I’m developing  one to use with youngsters when I teach and to provide material for home schoolers.

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Weather Activities for Kids

Image: sxc.hu

The gifts are food treats or a toy.  But children in our family throughout the years have enjoyed sharing gifts with their pets.  Seeing the dog, who senses there is something for her, ripping the wrappings and tossing the toys usually provides laughter for the youngsters…and picture taking opportunities.

These occasions create more holiday memories for the family, with photos to share in later years with children and grandchildren.

Do your pets enjoy the holidays with you?

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Kids’ Christmas Gifts for Pets

This made me realize that we are building attitudes at home.  It’s too easy to be grumpy at home, to air our gripes and disappointments rather than looking for the sunshine.  In our multigenerational home, with its many personalities, it’s sometimes difficult for all of us to be upbeat all the time.

Kids smiling image: sxc.hu

However, it’s up to us adults to set the tone of the home and help youngsters build their attitudes…hopefully positive and problem solving ones.

• Do the youngsters in your home see you as an overcomer or as someone who lets life get you down?
• Do you find solutions to challenges or simply sit down and worry?
• Do you want your children to follow your example?

What do you do to affect your children’s attitudes in the home and in life?

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Attitude Building With Children

Holiday memories image: sxc.hu

Grandparents’ memories, and those of other older relatives, contribute to the family heritage.  Record them, write them down, compile them in scrapbooks.  Those help children realize who they truly are and help form a family bond.

If grandchildren can work on Holiday memory projects with grandparents, these have special meaning, too.  My mother and mother-in-law shared their memories with my daughter. I encouraged my daughter to take part in it, or at least be a good listener.  We now reminisce about some of the things they did and said, passing them along to my grandchildren.

These memories are somewhat like the oral histories of various cultures, when stories were passed along through the generations by word of mouth.  However, so they don’t get lost in time, make sure you record them in some fashion.  The holiday memories are especially precious.

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Kids & Grandparents’ Holiday Memories

Names image: sxc.hu

If it’s an unusual name, they might make fun of it.  If an an adult mispronounces it, they may laugh and hurt a tot’s feelings.

I heard one principal handle this very well when youngsters were mixing up two students’ names on purpose.  One didn’t mind, but the other was close to tears.

She had a discussion and mentioned the importance of a person’s names.  She emphasized that each person’s name is special.  This led to a discussion on where the students’ names originated and what they meant.

So they shared whether they were named for a parent, grandparent or other family member.  Was that name a special one for mom or dad?  Did it have a special meaning when defined?  When the discussion was over, the children were proud of their names and realized that each person and their name was special.

I used this same approach in a second grade class when one of the boys was deliberately mispronouncing another student’s name.  This led to the students sharing their names and I shared where mine originated, too.

Do you discuss the importance of family names and why you named your children as you did?

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The Importance of Names