I always ask myself, “Why didn’t the mom/dad know?  Why didn’t she/he do anything?”  See, I’ve witnessed a lot of parents turning a blind eye to anorexia, bulimia and binge eating in their kids. 

I have some personal theories on the subject that I’d like to share.  They aren’t definitive by any means, of course, but are only thoughts.  Feel free to share yours, too.

1.  They don’t understand what an eating disorder is.  This is tough to accept, since it feels like “everyone” should know about EDs.  But the fact is that they don’t.  So if they are ignorant of anorexia and bulimia, they aren’t going to suspect them.

2.  They are eating disordered themselves.  I think that for some families, eating disorders and ED behaviors are hereditary.  Thus, a mom who sees her daughter avoiding food may not find it that unusual since she’s doing it herself.

3.  They like the results.  Let’s face it; for some parents, hearing, “Wow!  Your daughter is beautiful and thin!  She could be a model!” probably makes their heads swell.  It’s much easier to accept words like those in our society than to hear, “Your kid really needs to lose weight.”

4.  They just don’t care.  I hate to admit it, but I know some moms and dads don’t give two figs about their offspring.  Sad, but true.

5.  They are ashamed.  Parents tend to think that everything their kids do reflects negatively on them.  So if they admit there’s a problem, they’ll be forced to put themselves in the spotlight. 

That’s all I have… how about you?

Post from: Blisstree

Why do parents ignore eating disorders?

I was thrilled… and then terrified.

Having (mostly) recovered from an eating disorder, I worried that “Ana” (aka, anorexia) would come to visit me for the next nine months. Maybe longer.

It was horrifying.

Interestingly, over the ensuing months, I didn’t become obsessed with staying thin, although I did HATE being pregnant.

Every doctor’s appointment was pure hell as I discovered I had gained weight. Every glimpse in the mirror showed an expanding belly. When people began telling me (in month eight) that I had gotten a “chubbier” face, I wanted to cry.

I have very few photos of me taken during my pregnancy, mostly because I despised the way my body felt and looked and never allowed people to take my picture. I ate well, though, despite the hormonal nausea that stuck with me until the moment our son was born.

Looking back, I’m proud that I didn’t allow Ana to affect the wellness of my child. However, I must admit that I’m ashamed that I couldn’t embrace the notion of an expanding tummy.

Motherhood was a blessing, but even now I haven’t quite adjusted to my “new” body, nor have I returned to the same half-decent body image I had pre-pregnancy.  There are some days when I cannot even touch my body without feeling disgusted by the lumps and bumps.

I suppose it’s a learning experience. That’s life with an eating disorder… even a dormant one.  And, as I said before, having my best buddy in the world [see photo circa early 2007] was worth it.

Post from: Blisstree

Baby… and “Ana”… on Board