“Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake.”

Accurate and unsparing! Do you now know why the Fourth Step said “Searching and Fearless?” Oh, BTW – note it says the human wreckage we left behind. There are no mistakes. It is time to stand up and accept responsibility.

“To a degree, he has already done this when taking a moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what ways.”

I believe if you get real about this you already know that you hurt others. I knew it yet hadn’t really been able to focus on exactly how. I was about to become able to do just that. For ex. – the times I came home in the early hours of the morning and she had been sitting alone listening to the police sirens wondering if I had wrapped myself or others around a tree. I caused her emotional pain and I was wrong. Selfishly, I hadn’t given it any consideration. I was wrapped up in me.

“This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery. But if a willing start is made, then the great advantage of doing this will so quickly reveal themselves that the pain will be lessened as one obstacle after another melts away.”

I can’t say that was exactly what happened for me as anyone who has been reading would know but I can say that the advantages that have eventually revealed themselves are worth it – specifically that the obsession is gone.

Forgiveness. A tough subject in the beginning. Forgiveness is about to be brought into the light for us. Yet we’ll sometimes still be urged by old, inbred behavior, to revert back. That also lessens.

“These obstacles, however, are very real. The first, and one of the most difficult, has to do with forgiveness. The moment we ponder a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To escape looking at the wrongs we have done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he/she has done us. This is especially true if he/she has, in fact, behaved badly at all. Triumphantly we seize upon his/her misbehavior as the perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own.”

And, if you insist on this focus, you’ll continue to have a deep challenge with sobriety! This is not humble!

Post from: Blisstree

They Did “It” To Me! Oh – You Think So?

Thought – if you’re new and having troubles with your personal relationships and thinking of drinking, don’t keep it to yourself and think perhaps you can solve it on your own! Meetings, sponsor, oldtimers.

Make note – From the 12&12, page 77;

“First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.”

And then it says “This is a very large order” to which I thought, in the beginning, oh screw this one! Amazing I would think that because the lack of good relationships was/is the primary emotional pain of my very being.

I can attest today that this is true;

“Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure.”

An adventure that I often want to not live through because of its disturbances, but I make it with your help. Relationships, even after time sober, can still be major challenges, especially with those you love.

But I said I was willing to do whatever it took and I still am!

Post from: Blisstree

Oh No! Personal Relationships!!!

Daily Reflections

Forming True Partnerships

“But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.”

Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into my sober life! In my sobriety I will meditate and pray to discover how I may be a trusted friend and companion.

****************************************

What happens when I have stopped twisting the relations with my family, friends and society at large? What happens when I am no longer as stupid and stubborn as I had been? What happens when I am no longer unable to form true partnerships?

When I feel tortured and alone… I look to this reflection and find that I am still alone though I have found the ability to form true partnerships.

This is the reading that leads me to believe something contrary to “Do the right thing and the right thing will happen.” According to whom? What will happen will happen according to God. If I do the right thing something other than what I think is best is liable to happen and it is then that I must practice 3 and 11!

Thy Will, Not Mine, Be Done…

Because I’m soooo smart – I think I know what the right thing is!

Post from: Blisstree

From Which You May Get To Practice Three And Eleven