NBC’s The Apprentice, is annoying, yet intriguing. In last night’s installment, the losing team, Gold Rush, was brought to the boardroom to face The Donald.

When asked by Trump who wanted to bring back to the boardroom “where someone will be fired” the team leader decided to include a member of the team who wasn’t available during much of the planning and execution of the task because he had taken off to observe religious obligations.

I immediately felt that was the wrong decision, and so did Trump — the team leader was fired. (I’ve always wondered, how can you be fired if you are just an apprentice who doesn’t have the job yet? lol)

It was a disrepectful and hypocritical thing for the team leader to have done.

I have often seen inconsistencies in how companies place rhetoric around the importance of diversity vs. how they actually behave.

As much as diversity training can eat into our work schedule, I am a firm believer that it is oh so necessary…especially for some managers.

There is a court case going on here in New York forcing women who wish to work and have children fight for their jobs! Is that not insane? How about the fact that as a society, we still use the word “minority“!

What I am wondering is — Has the religious or cultural, et al disciplines of colleagues ever affected you personally, a project you were working on, or brought imbalance to your office/business? If so can you offer some wisdom as to how to handle with grace and respect?

Post from: Blisstree

Respecting Your Colleagues

The first day of my “nothing-to-do” vacation, I did NOTHING but sleeping, eating and more sleeping. At the end of the day, my head was spinning from the over-dosed sleeping and I felt really guilty for wasting a whole day.

So the second day, I started to catch up with my blogging, cleaning up the house, buying grocery, cooking, cleaning, etc.. And.. I was exhausted by the end of the day. Ok, that wasn’t exactly the “doing nothing” vacation I have planned…

Finally on the third day, I dragged my lazy ass to a book store, ordered a couple of Starbucks coffee and sat there for a whole afternoon. Wow, that felt great!! It was such a beautiful relaxing afternoon with just my favorite coffee and books in a sun filled room surrounded by other readers/coffee shoppers.

A lot of us (especially those with kids) have devoted our entire time and lives to work and make other people happy, whether that’s the boss, the husband or the kids. We seldom make time for ourselves and even if we did, we felt guilty. When it comes to having a totally relaxing day, we actually don’t really know how to relax anymore.

For a lot of us who have worked like dogs, spending some time with ourselves and do nothing may even be a little challenging. We believe that we have to accomplish something from the things we do and forget that sometimes, recharging ourselves from the busy schedule is the best accomplishment.

So, to better manage my future doing-nothing time, I collected a few Wiki’s tips:

Doing-Nothing Guide

1. Plan ahead. Whether it’s an hour, a day, or a week of doing nothing, cancel all of your appointments for that block of time.
2. Let people know that you’ll be unavailable. Whether you choose to tell them that you’re actually setting aside some time to do nothing, or you just give them the vague explanation “I’m going to be busy” (busy doing nothing!), tell them not to call, visit, or interrupt.
3. Find a quiet, private place where you feel unpressured to do anything. This might be your bedroom, the garage, the car, or a local park. Find that place and go there.
4. Set your watch or an alarm to go off when your “nothing” time is over, so that you don’t have to constantly look at the clock and count the minutes. Turn off your cell phone, and maybe even all other phones within your reach.
5. Sit quietly by yourself. Feel the breeze, the sun shine, and the chair touching your skin. Listen to the rustle of the trees and birds singing, and water flowing.
6. Do not think about the past or future. Avoid the temptation to turn on the TV, listen to music, write a note to yourself, get a bite to eat, or whatever. The only thing you should do is go to the bathroom if needed.
7. Learn how to meditate and clear your mind. That way, not only will your body be doing nothing, but so will your mind. Since your brain is constantly working, learning how to give it a break can provide a major sense of peace and regeneration.

Tips

• Setting aside some free time to do nothing on a regular basis is very healthy for your mind, body, and emotional life, especially if you find that you’re really wearing yourself thin. Often times, we are encouraged by the actions of our fast-paced, high-information society to believe that staying busy is a normal and natural state of existance. Remember, there is no guilt in giving yourself some private downtime. How often you do nothing is up to you, but it should be a rejuvenating experience overall.
• Once you get good at doing nothing, you can use this time and energy to think of things, instead. This would not be doing “nothing,” but thinking while shutting out the world. Focusing on one thing this way will help you to concentrate better than having your mind zoom over a million thoughts a minute.
• If you live in a small apartment, set aside a corner of a larger room with floor pillows, a softly scented candle and maybe a cozy throw. If these things aren’t available, just find a quiet place for yourself.

Warnings
at first you may feel nervous, jittery, and restless. Try to relax and understand that doing nothing does not mean that you’re being unproductive or irresponsible. Keep in mind that you are doing this in order to clear your mind and ultimately extend your life so that you will have even more time. Ultimately, setting time aside to recharge your batteries will make you more productive, creative, and more able to concentrate in the long run, and that’s very good for work, school, or other.

Post from: Blisstree

Doing Nothing Is Not Exactly Easy

It was that damn promotion’s fault! I received a promotion a couple of months before I took my last project. According to my company’s “ranking” scale, I am now a senior consultant who’s supposed to take on all responsibilities from bringing in new business to people management. All the sudden, I felt the urge to perform and achieve to make my management happy. I again felt the needs to set goals and tried really hard to achieve them, such as doing 3 people’s work all at once. That was when everything went down the drain.

As a reminder to myself and also an interesting reading to all of ya, I am re-posting “Goal Free Living”:

Goal Free Living

Have you ever asked yourself this question:
“I am doing everything according to the plans to pursue my goals. And I’ve achieved most of them. Why am I still not happy?” I asked this question many times in my 20’s.

I did a lot in my 20’s:

- Graduated with honor from college
- Attended Ivy League and finished grad school
- Got into a top notch IT Company
- Got promoted multiple times
- Bought a lot of houses
- Invested a lot of money
…

The list goes on and on. But, I felt miserable. I was so miserable that I even thought about life not worth living because of all the stress and the endless work. I didn’t have any friends; I had no time to think about what I liked to do and I absolutely had no hobbies other than digging into the financial books to make more money. After suffering a severe depression a few years ago, I backed down, ditched my goals and started goal-free living.

I no longer try to climb the corporate ladder. I don’t really care if I can get the job done perfectly or not. I do my best and tell my boss the truth if things can’t get done and deal with it. I no longer pursue the perfection in performance, stock market included. At age 30, I finally made a turn and started to search for things that truly excite me. That’s when I picked up my old time passions such as computer graphics and games and some new interests like mountaineering, salsa dancing and blogging.

I can’t explain this. But once I stopped chasing my goals and letting go of some expectations for myself, things start to pick up. I am a much healthier person now (mentally and physically) comparing with a few years ago. And my performance on the job is not necessarily going downhill. I recently took the “stress” test and I found out that I nearly don’t have much stress. Maybe it is because I am living in a “passion-driven” life instead of a “goal-oriented” life? Or is it because that I finally let go of other people’s expectations and live the way that I want to live?

Maybe Stephen Shapiro does have a point. In his new book titled “Goal-Free Living” which comes out the next month, he suggested to take your nifty five-year plan and your lifetime to-do list and throw them out of the window. In his words,

“The key to happiness lies in checking out the detours and back roads.”

Maybe it’s time to ditch the high paying job, grab $13000 and head down to New Zealand and Australia for 8 months like one of my co-workers just did. I don’t know if I am spontaneous enough to make such a move. But I certainly don’t mind trying something new every year… whatever my heart leads me to…

Post from: Blisstree

Goal Free Living

When it comes to time to make changes, most of us retreat back to our comfort zones and hoping tomorrow is going to be better… I did that a few years ago when I had a nerve break down working on a high profile D.C project. I should have quitted this job back then but I didn’t. I held onto this job until now. Although the change came a few years later, I am still very happy that I finally did something about it.

One thing I learned is that making changes is something pretty mechanical. You just have to sit down, work out a plan and execute the plan. Here is a list of few things I did before I decided to quit the job:

1. About a year ago, I started to stuff my cash under the mattress. Ok, not exactly… But having an emergency cash fund that I can depend on for 7 to 10 months made the quitting process a whole lot easier. Saving is a habit. So regardless whether you are going to make changes or not, it’s a great idea to stash away some emergency cash each month. According to financial advisors, everyone needs an emergency fund that is worth 3 – 6 months of living expenses.
2. I don’t want to jump from a miserable job to another miserable job. I took some time to do some soul searchings and think about what my next step was going to be. Why did the current job make me so unhappy? Was it because of the environment? The boss? The co-workers? The type of work I do? The hours I worked? Well, I like what I do ‘cause it’s fun, challenging and 95% of my co-workers from the past 10 years were great! I concluded that it was because of the unstable life style due to travel and the long hours made my life so miserable. Thus, I came up with two criteria for the next job: a) No travel b) normal hours
3. Most of people will try to find another job before quitting the current job. I thought about that too. However, with my crazy hours and travel situation, I wasn’t able to focus on getting a new job. So I decided that it would be the best for me to quit and then concentrating on job searching.
4. The hardest part: Just Do It!

I know my case is kind of simply to deal with and required only 4 steps. But if you are not happy with what you do everyday and thinks that it is going to take 50 steps to make changes and reach your goal because of your complex lifestyle, then start taking step #1 today. One day, you will reach the 50th step.

Post from: Blisstree

Final Lesson: Make Changes Today

After I turned in my resignation letter a week ago, I had a few conversations with my management team. I made it clear to all levels of my managers that unless they can offer me something local which does not require extensive amount of overtime, I am walking.

A few days later, my boss’s boss put an offer on the table: A technical trainer job to set up classes and teach new technologies remotely through conference calls. The position is also responsible for leading a technical support group to help the consultants on the road. I can work from anywhere I want and the job requires no more than 40 – 45 hours a week.

It didn’t take me long to accept the offer. I’ve always wanted to try the teaching route. Although I don’t know how long I will be able to stay on this “special position”, it is definitely a great opportunity to make a transition and start a normal life!

My friends and family were quite surprised that my company didn’t even let me quit. Usually, people turn in their letters and walk out in 2 weeks. Besides the fact that my company values my skills, it was also because of pure luck – a person who was supposed to have this position is leaving so that I can fill in. Although I am confident that I could find something somewhere else that fits my needs, I am just happy that it took almost no effort to get things straight out.

So the next time if I find myself in an undesirable situation, I should do something right away. Never be afraid to step out of the comfort zone, ‘cause you never know what opportunities are out there unless you make the first move.

I am taking two weeks off in Feb to gather my stuff together before I start my new job. I got stuff everywhere from my last home, last engagement, my current engagement and my permanent home. I don’t even have a car after I wrecked my Honda last year on the way to a client site. It’s about time to fix my big mess!! I can’t wait to have a normal life! Yeeeah!!!

On the last note, I want to thank all the people who left so many encouraging and positive comments to keep me going in the last a couple of weeks. The stories you shared on this site really helped me to be focused on what I was trying to achieve. I hope in addition to my own little journey here, your stories and words can help many others to gather the courage to do what it is best for them. THANK YOU and THANK YOU!!!

Post from: Blisstree

A New Job A New Life