In writing for both Relationships and Dating Dames, which is what Relationships used to be, I have spoken about various current and past relationships. One particular person that I wrote about was aware that I was writing about him during the course of our relationship (I never used his full name and he has a very common first name).

I told him that I wrote about us and I even sent him links to posts that I wrote. Either he did not read the posts or he is forgetting that this happened.

He and I had a relationship in which the terms were clear – committed, long-term, exclusive.  Things did not work out and eventually the relationship sort of faded away. I later found out from a third party that my ex had been not living up to those terms while we were together. He, the ex, contacted me and apologized. I was hurt, angry, and embarrassed, but I had a new man and I was moving on.

I wrote about it some and another person, someone we grew up with, took offense at me writing about my life and wrote me a lengthy message about doing so.

This weekend, the ex spent time talking to my girl friend. Then, I started getting comments on older Relationship posts from someone using a fake name saying that I knew what was up the whole time, that I was the pursuer, that I was doing something inappropriate by writing about my relationships in my relationship column.

My ex was telling a very different story to this person, although he admitted what went on when he spoke to my girl friend. There was no point in lying to her – she already knew what happened, she was there with me for almost the entire relationship.

My girl friend, the one who spoke to the ex, asked me to please stop talking about my personal experience, that it leaves me open to futher pain. I understand what she is saying, but I want Relationships to be honest and authentic. I don’t plan to talk about my ex anymore, I’ve spoken very, very little about him these past months, but in talking about certain topics, my experience with him might come up. 

I want to focus on the future. People come in and out of your life. Most leave some sort of mark. You either learn how to incorporate the experience into your personality or you fall apart. I don’t want to fall apart. I want to be happy about my new relationship, about my new boyfriend, and the experiences that are ahead of us. I do not want someone from the past to have any further influence on my future. 

Thank you for reading Relationships.

Image credit: Bailey Smith

Post from: Blisstree

I Write From Experience

 If you live in New Hampshire, you may have experienced the ice storm that made its way across the state Thursday night and into Friday. Although where I live, we had mainly rain, with nothing sticking to the trees, the central and southern part of the state was almost paralyzed.  Falling trees laden with ice fell across roads and power lines.  Winds also blew down trees and swirled debris around.

Three days later, some homes and businesses still are without electricity and heat.  Some people are living with friends and relatives or in shelters.  (A friend came to our house this morning to shower before church.)  Others have found generators to bring some power back to their homes.

The Ice Storm of 2008 could present much material for writing.  Or write about the Big December Blizzard, if one is occurring where you live.  (We just talked with friends in South Dakota and they’re experiencing wind, snow and cold.)

Make a list of some of the personal experiences or adventures you could write about.

This idea also ties in with Marcie’s post about Snow Books.

Post from: Blisstree

Mary Emma’s Writing Tip – Write About An Experience, Like The Ice Storm of 2008