This made me realize that we are building attitudes at home.  It’s too easy to be grumpy at home, to air our gripes and disappointments rather than looking for the sunshine.  In our multigenerational home, with its many personalities, it’s sometimes difficult for all of us to be upbeat all the time.

Kids smiling image: sxc.hu

However, it’s up to us adults to set the tone of the home and help youngsters build their attitudes…hopefully positive and problem solving ones.

• Do the youngsters in your home see you as an overcomer or as someone who lets life get you down?
• Do you find solutions to challenges or simply sit down and worry?
• Do you want your children to follow your example?

What do you do to affect your children’s attitudes in the home and in life?

Post from: Blisstree

Attitude Building With Children

Image by MrOmega via Flickr

We’ve focused so much on dating, what’s good about it, what’s horrible about it, and how to do it. We very rarely focus on ourselves, as single women.

I wrote a post the other day about being a “quality woman” in order to attract a “quality man”. I’d like to expand upon that some more. I’ve become a firm believer in shifting your focus from “finding” someone to “attracting” someone into your life, and in doing so, I’ve decided that I have a lot of things about myself, my life, my views, and my thoughts that need some major adjustments.

I want to talk about what single women can do to feel special. Without having a man in their lives.

I want to talk about how to shift your thoughts from “I need a man.” to “It’d be nice to have someone to share life with.”

I want to talk about how what we project to the world is what we’re going to receive from those in it.

I want to talk about the Law of Attraction, living a fulfilling life as a singleton, and setting goals for ourselves as individuals.

We deserve happiness, sure. We also deserve success when we put forth an effort, and that goes well beyond gussying up for a date. Our identities are not made by anyone but ourselves, and so many women I know need to learn that. Listen, I’m a pro at being single. But in my last relationship I lost a LOT of who I am, and dammit, I want her back!

Stay tuned, because this Dating Dame is taking the focus off dating, and putting it right where it belongs, back on me!

Post from: Blisstree

New Direction, New Focus, New Project: Being Fabulous

How much of yourself do you lose?

I’m talking about your personality. Ok. There’s no right or wrong answer here (depends on where you stand about this matter, though). Granted that you have a personality that’s less attractive than what people would normally prefer, losing much of it will be for the good of everyone, right? Or perhaps you have this steady disposition that you can easily adapt and sort of go with the flow but never risking any loss? Or you’re rock solid, no change ever happening.

But what about people who change a whole lot just for the sake of keeping his or her current partner? Do you think this is healthy?

There’s adapting in healthy dosages and there’s insecure mimicry. I just believe that your personality is your own. Choosing to give it up for something you think is “better” is a foolish thing to do. What if at the end of the relationship you find yourself a stranger to yourself. Yea, with all the “changes” you’ve gone through, you don’t know who you are anymore. Instead of having yourself as a solid wall to lean onto during this time, you’ll be feeling that you need to start all over again.

Again, this is just my personal opinion. Now, it’s your turn. What are your thoughts on the matter? Where do you stand? Is there an allowable amount of change a person can apply within himself/herself? Do share your opinions.

Post from: Blisstree

How much of yourself do you lose?

Hee hee. Just wanted to make you guys laugh a bit.

But dog or not, it’s a great thing to think about, yeah? What kind of man do you want? Were the traits the woman in the comic enumerated even such a tall order in the first place?

It’d be good to know your thoughts!

Image credit: bizarroartist

Post from: Blisstree

What kind of man do you want?

We all have our ideals when it comes to choosing a partner. We come up with a list either by superficial standards or by principles. I guess it will be tested once we face that moment whether we are going to choose the person who matches all but one trait, physical or personality, which we think weighs a lot. We then face a dilemma that basically asks, will you settle for anything or anyone less than your ideal?

A friend of mine is going through such a dilemma right now. She has found a guy who treats her right and is offering the kind of relationship she has always wanted — yes, there’s a HUGE “but” in that statement.

The guy is a couple of inches shorter than she is.

Whoops! Before anyone goes judgmental on my friend over here, consider the situation, first.

Romantically, I’d say I agree with most people that it’s a bit unfair to take that against the guy. He is, after all, a good guy and I know he will love and treat my friend well. However, ideally, it would look a lot less awkward for my friend who’s gorgeously tall and pretty to be with a guy who looks and is shorter by comparison.

She’s not totally against the idea of getting involved with him since his good qualities seem to overshadow this physical, er, shortcoming (again! me and my puns! sorry.. gah.). She’s just in a bind cuz I know what kind of thoughts are rushing through her mind as she tries to make the decision (it’s a “been there, done that” kind of thing, well, sort of..).

Anyway, I left her with these thoughts, though. Mine. Heh.

“I don’t want to see you get cornered into going into a relationship with someone who’s not truly deserving of you but if he makes you happy and I mean TRULY happy, as in HAPPY, HAPPY.. then he has my vote.”

I always believe in never settling for anything less — well, at least, eversince my sister told me that piece of wisdom, that is. Heehee.

I know it really wouldn’t matter if I say the right things (or the wrong ones for that matter), she’s the one who has to make the decision. But, humour me on this, if she was your friend, what kind of advice would you give her?

For now, I’m keeping my distance. I will not meddle in her affairs. No one should. But I will be here to support whatever decision she makes!

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Dilemma: He Falls Short

Okay. I need to highlight 8 things about a guy that I can consider my ideal. Hmmm. Fine. I’m listing them in no particular order.

I simply have to be attracted to him!

Like what my dear friend, Trini, and I were talking about a couple of days ago, it’s basically a given that you’ll get tired of the guy after you’ve been married for a bit so I wouldn’t want to end up with someone I can’t stand looking at when I wake up in the morning! Heh. Don’t ask me for details cuz that’s a whole other list! Hahaha.

He has to be passionate.

May it be about a particular cause, a dream, his work — more importantly about me and our life together. Oh, yea — he acts on it.

He has to be learned and articulate.

I love a good conversation. I love engaging in a good argument for time to time or just bouncing off theories left and right. I have a deep passion for learning. My man should be able to keep up or better yet, he is able to offer more than I am able to. This includes grammar and pronunciation. I find eloquence sexy. Hehehe.

He has to have a great sense of humour and wit.

A guy who takes himself way too seriously is boring and downright selfish. Heh. It’s admirable if I see that he can laugh about things and doesn’t break under pressure. It doesn’t hurt if he can make me laugh and entertain me with stories about what makes life beautiful.

He has to be sophisticated.

I’m heavily attracted to a guy who’s worldly, someone who’s completely aware of what’s out there. This means there’s a sense of adventure. It doesn’t really matter if he’s well-traveled or not, he only has to have that desire to see the world. There’s something about a refined guy that’s so magnetic.

He has to be sensible and affectionate.

I love hugs, cuddles and a thousand sweet kisses everyday. I want a man who’s able to offer them when able and necessary. I’m uber-sweet and I want that to be reciprocated. I’m moody and have irrational expectations on certain occasions so it is “ideal” to be with someone who can deal. Hahaha.

He has to have talent.

It can be that he plays a sport, he writes, he dances, he sings or he plays an instrument. It shows that he’s creative and won’t stand around letting life pass him by. Actually — I’d love to end up with a footballer or a rockstar but I know that’s reaching. Hahaha.

He has to be responsible.

It encompasses the following traits: committed, trustworthy and secure. He knows what his responsibilities are so I will feel secure that my life with him is set and will not be easily shaken.

Now, it’s your turn.

Who’s your ideal guy or girl?

If you indulge me and list down 8 things you’d consider your ideal in that person you’re looking for. Once done, do come back and let me know and I’ll link to your post!

Original Post: The Parody™

Post from: Blisstree

Who’s your ideal?

Via Christian Carter – Men are different from women.  You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.  When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.  Lot’s of women don’t even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.   They often don’t understand non-verbal communication as well as women. Men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and “intuition”.  Women don’t seem to remember this about men.  So do men feel sexually attracted to women based just on looks? Or is something else going on?  Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, Christian claims that men have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks.  Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.  Looks just happen to be the most obvious way…

Perhaps it’s the assumed ability of summing up a man’s character that get’s so many women in trouble. 

In fact, my cousin and I were just discussing this very thing a couple of days ago.  There are times when our minds, as women, just never seem to stop working!  We ALWAYS have something going on inside our heads.  And so when our husbands seem to be zoned out in thought, naturally we ask them what they are thinking. 

It’s very difficult for us to accept “nothing” as an answer, but in reality, they really are thinking about NOTHING!

I still say that if any woman or group of women out there can crack this particular secret in men, they will be set for generations to come.

As for me, I’ll just resolve to the fact that I just don’t “get” men and likley never will.

I’d rather be shopping!

Post from: Blisstree

Assuming You “Get” Men & Their Psychology

What I’m really wondering about is how much information about yourself can you actually divulge to your date. What are the things that you consider “allowable” topics for conversation apart from the list of your favourites?

Personally, I’m a pretty private person. I value it to the point that I hardly let the guy in — well, until I know why he needs to know certain things about me. It’s just to let him know that I am interested but will not jump right in that easily.

I can’t say that this is the right way to go about this because I’m sure it can screw up the communication between us in a way but I also have this principle that when I’m asked a question, I’ll do my best to give an answer that he wants and needs to hear. [If that makes any sense.]

My only explanation for this particular behaviour is my decision to only disclose these personal information to the guy I’m in a relationship or planning to have a relationship with.

Is that so bad?

Post from: Blisstree

How do you play your cards?

So, all you guys out there, this one’s for you. Well, okay — all you ladies can read up, too. Perhaps you can tell me if Mr. Cricket here pretty much covered the basics.

• 1. Don’t Be Scared

  If you see someone you like, the best thing you can do is just talk to them. Most blokes won’t advance because they’re scared of being shot down. Women like the attention, and are, after all human, and the worst thing that can happen is she tells you she’s not interested. You’ve got nothing to lose! (Much better to try and fail rather than spend the rest of the night wondering!)

• 2. Be Yourself

  You don’t need to be the funniest, or best looking or richest man in the place. Women can spot a phony a mile away. Just be yourself. Besides, if you find someone that you might want to start dating and you’ve spent the first encounter reeling a bunch of lies, then the chances of the relationship going anywhere are effectively zero.

• 3. Listen, and try to remember the Little Things

  Women love to talk, and they love a guy who knows how to listen. I’m not saying you need to start reading Cosmo so that you can talk about the inner workings of Pantene’s latest hair miracle, but if you can listen to her talk about things that are important to her, usually her mum, her cat or why her best mate’s man is no good, then your relationship will thrive. And if you know that she’s got an appointment at the hairdresser’s or is wearing her new shoes, then a simple comment about it goes a long way.

• 4. Remind her she’s beautiful and important to you

  In addition to number 3, a surprise bunch of flowers or an off-guard comment about her looking pretty is a cheap and effective way of staying in favour. It’s all too easy to slip in to a relationship-routine, so mix things up every now and then by letting her know she’s special to you.

• 5. Respect her, trust her and be proud of her

  If she’s OK with you going down the pub with your mates to watch the footie, accept that she needs to go shopping with her mates and talk about shoes and hair. If she spends 2 hours getting ready on a night out, remember that it’s only so she looks nice with you. And if she makes the effort to look good when she’s on your arm, then appreciate it. Accidentally telling her best mate that you can’t believe how lucky you are to be with her will definitely get back to her and will make that boys only poker night a sure thing.

It’s a comforting thought, don’t you agree?

Personally, I agree with Matt on this one. So I beg all you guys out there… listen and learn! If you do, you’ll make your woman happy and secure.

Post from: Blisstree

5 Things Women Like

Ever dated someone because you have “lots of things in common?” Well, what about because you’re both passionate about art? Astronomy? Baseball – or the Boston Red Sox, in particular?

You guessed it, I am going to talk about this particular sport, Baseball. Uh, not really about the sport, acutally, I’ll be talking about something for the fans — a dating idea for the fans, that is.

I came across an article that featured a site that matches singles with a common passion for the major league baseball team. It’s MatchingSox.com.

It’s quite similar to the other dating sites in existence only it’s main demographic are the male and female fans of the team. It’s primary aim was to bring together fans for a bit of trivia and web interaction but the founder of the dating site thought it a good idea to explore the prospect of dating other fans after being a fan has caused issues in past relationships.

So, are you a Red Sox fan? Go try your luck at MatchingSox.com!

Post from: Blisstree

Are you a Red Sox fan?