Laws of Physics as Applied to Cats is a list, complete with cute hand-drawn pictures, of, well, how cats and physics relate to each other!

A few of my favorites include:

3) Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat.

19) Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

29) Law of Cat Probability (Cat’s Uncertainty Principle)
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where it “might” be.

It’s funny ’cause it’s true, right?

[image: flickr]

Post from: Blisstree

Laws of Physics as Applied to Cats

There are several variations of cat “house rules” floating around online, and here’s a version I found this morning that I got a kick out of:

The Cat’s Version of the Rules

BATHROOMS: Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human’s bare foot.

HAMPERING: If one of your humans is engaged in some activity, and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called “helping,” otherwise known as “hampering.” Following are the rules for hampering:

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

2. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book — unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen, and then lay in human’s lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.

WALKING: As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME: Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

LITTER BOX: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING: Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses, and you probably will get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don’t forget the guests.

[image: flickr]

Post from: Blisstree

A Cat’s House Rules

Give me about ten years and this is probably what I’ll look like!

This Crazy Cat Lady action figure isn’t as cute as the figurine from last year, but it would make a great stocking stuffer for the cat lover in your life anyway!

[image: amazon]

Post from: Blisstree

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

This Fox Terrier looks like he’s giving the Christmas tree a final inspection!

He hops around on his hind legs and almost looks like he’s going to take a nose dive at one point, but recovers well.

Have your pets reacted strangely to holiday decorations you’ve put up?

Post from: Blisstree

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

This quiz accompanies the very funny “How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You” page that is currently being forwarded to everyone on the planet.

With three cats I think my odds are slightly higher, too. Lucky me!

So what are your chances? Is your cat plotting to kill you? Click on the image to take the quiz yourself!

Post from: Blisstree

Is Your Cat Plotting To Kill You?

I can’t tell you how much this made me laugh. This little kitty moves through toward his owner with ninja stealth – watch out!

Post from: Blisstree

Ninja Kitty

A little humor for your Saturday! How many dogs and cats does it take to change a lightbulb? According to this little gem it depends on which breed you ask:

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.

Chihuahua: We don’t need no stinking light bulb.

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me!

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven’t missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Corgi: Sure, problem. I’ll need a ladder. And a treat. Now hand me the bulb. And a treat. Take this burnt out one. Gimme a treat. And we’re done. I need a treat. And while you put away the ladder and throw out the old bulb, I’ll hoover the carpet looking for any crumbs I may have dropped. Look how clean this rug is. Gimme another treat.

Boston terrier: You want me to do what? Change what light buld? That light bulb? Does it squeak? Are you sure? And your certain it’s that light bulb you what changed?

Hound Dog: If you slept all night and most of the day like a sane person you would not need that stupid light.

…

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: “How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?”

[image: flickr, flickr]

Post from: Blisstree

How Many Dogs and Cats Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

I love visiting other pet sites and especially love when I find something fun and worth sharing! Below are a few links I’ve come across over the last week that I thought you’d get a kick out of too!

~ Map of a Cat’s Brain: I read this out loud to my husband and he agreed with me on its accuracy!

~ Pavlov’s Dogs: Perhaps the whole thing worked the other way around?

~ The cat Rules of Attraction.

~ 10 Famous Dogs You Don’t Want to Mess With: From fictional dogs like Cujo to certain breeds, this list gives you reasons not to mess with certain canines!

~ Baby Animal Alphabet: So stinkin’ sweet it’ll make your teeth hurt!

~ Make your own cardboard cat chaise!

~ Cat burglar!

[image: sxc]

Post from: Blisstree

Fun and Funny Pet Links

Thankfully these aren’t cookies made from dog poop, rather they’re cookies made to look like dog poop! While the latter should be better than the former, I just don’t know.

It kind of reminds me of the litter box cakes that were so popular many years ago.

These might be pretty fun for April Fools, though!

Post from: Blisstree

How to Make Dog Poop Cookies

Whether baiting the ferret down the hall for battle, gorging on rubber bands (and the ensuing gastric consequences), or joining the gun repair club, Bucky continuously tests the patience and endurance of his hapless mates.

You now have a chance to win one of two copies of “Take Our Cat, Please! A Get Fuzzy Collection” the newest compilation book!

…..

To Enter:

Leave a comment in this blog entry and tell me what your favorite pet or animal is. That’s it!

The Rules:

~ One entry per household. I do check!

~ Make sure you leave a valid email address with your comment (will not be displayed) so I can contact you in a timely manner if you win.

~ The contest will run until Thursday, July 31 at 11:59pm Pacific. Two winners will then be drawn randomly from the eligible submissions on Friday, August 1, and the winners will be notified by email and announced here on the site.

~ This is open to residents of the U.S.

Post from: Blisstree

Giveaway: Win a Copy of ‘Take Our Cat, Please!’