If you are in a trusting relationship, then there is no need for excessive use of the phone to keep in contact.  Unanswered phonecalls and delayed responses to text messages can cause unnecessary stress, doubt, and worry.  It’s possible that your significant other actually loves talking to you and hearing from you, but has a life outside of being attached to the phone. 

Here are some questions to ask yourself about your relationship involving your significant other and the phone to find out if you need to re-address the amount of time that you spend communicating (or miscommunicating) by phone:

• Do you call when you have nothing to say?
• Do you argue more over the phone than in person?
• Do you feel anxious if he doesn’t answer the phone?
• If he doesn’t answer, do you call again right away?
• Do you go over the monthly limit of minutes or texts on your cell phone bill regularly?
• Do you feel angry or sad if he misses a call from you?
• Do you try to keep him on the phone even when he says he is busy?

I have to admit that in past relationships I have been guilty of all of these problems, and now I am also able to recognize how often they occur in other couples.  Don’t feel terribly if you answered “yes” to a lot of the above questions…it’s really quite common!

Take time to talk to your significant other in person about the situations that have come up the questions listed above and express how you have been feeling.  It will help enormously to let him know how his actions make you feel, but also help you to realize that you need to adjust issues of frequency and expectations surrounding phone communications.  A simple solution might be to just call and text each other less!

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Do We Talk Too Much On The Phone?

The main thing to remember is that if you want it to work, then make it a priority.  Set aside just a few minutes every week to keep in touch.  I’ve moved around a lot over the last ten years, so here are some ideas for maintaining long distance friendships:

• Scheduled monthly or weekly phone calls – Plan a specific day each month or week to call each other.  Even if you don’t think you have much to say, it helps you to keep each other updated on just the small things in your lives.
• Frequent emails – If you are more of an email person (like me) shoot out little emails frequently.  Just send a few sentences, weblinks, articles, or images that remind you of something you would have shared if you still lived in the same place.  Again, keeping in touch about the small things maintains a better friendship than just summarizing your life once a year.
• Yearly trip – Plan far in advance so you make sure that all of the friends can adjust their schedules accordingly and take advantage of the lowest prices possible.  I know a lot of people who have been planning yearly trips with the same group of friends since college, and it definitely lasts through the years!  Usually you probably travel with your spouse/significant other, but plan a trip with your long distance friend to meet up in a foreign place.  You will get to spend lots of quality time together.
• Instant messaging – There are many interfaces out there, but choose one that is paired with your email so whenever you are reading your email you can also take a moment to say hello to your friends.  This is definitely the best way for me.
• Birthdays and holidays – Make a special effort to remember these days.  Sometimes you might even spend them together, but if not then be sure to make a phonecall.

I purposely did not include social networking sites like Facebook because I don’t believe that these are ways to really maintain a friendship…in fact, I think they are the opposite.  If you are reading updates about someone’s life through a website then you will have no reason to actually contact them to ask important questions and catch up.  You probably know all about what they do everyday, but don’t actually have any personal interactions.  These are good for peripheral friendships, but not for your closest friends.

The main thing to remember is just that it only takes a few minutes out of every week to show a friend that you are thinking about them.  I know it’s super hard when you have the life happening around you to handle also, but close friendships are important to maintain in your life, even if they take a little extra effort.

Let me know if you have any special ways that you have maintained a long distance friendship that has lasted over the years…

Image: Flickr

Post from: Blisstree

How to Maintain Long Distance Friendships