We all have our ideals when it comes to choosing a partner. We come up with a list either by superficial standards or by principles. I guess it will be tested once we face that moment whether we are going to choose the person who matches all but one trait, physical or personality, which we think weighs a lot. We then face a dilemma that basically asks, will you settle for anything or anyone less than your ideal?

A friend of mine is going through such a dilemma right now. She has found a guy who treats her right and is offering the kind of relationship she has always wanted — yes, there’s a HUGE “but” in that statement.

The guy is a couple of inches shorter than she is.

Whoops! Before anyone goes judgmental on my friend over here, consider the situation, first.

Romantically, I’d say I agree with most people that it’s a bit unfair to take that against the guy. He is, after all, a good guy and I know he will love and treat my friend well. However, ideally, it would look a lot less awkward for my friend who’s gorgeously tall and pretty to be with a guy who looks and is shorter by comparison.

She’s not totally against the idea of getting involved with him since his good qualities seem to overshadow this physical, er, shortcoming (again! me and my puns! sorry.. gah.). She’s just in a bind cuz I know what kind of thoughts are rushing through her mind as she tries to make the decision (it’s a “been there, done that” kind of thing, well, sort of..).

Anyway, I left her with these thoughts, though. Mine. Heh.

“I don’t want to see you get cornered into going into a relationship with someone who’s not truly deserving of you but if he makes you happy and I mean TRULY happy, as in HAPPY, HAPPY.. then he has my vote.”

I always believe in never settling for anything less — well, at least, eversince my sister told me that piece of wisdom, that is. Heehee.

I know it really wouldn’t matter if I say the right things (or the wrong ones for that matter), she’s the one who has to make the decision. But, humour me on this, if she was your friend, what kind of advice would you give her?

For now, I’m keeping my distance. I will not meddle in her affairs. No one should. But I will be here to support whatever decision she makes!

Post from: Blisstree

Dating Dilemma: He Falls Short

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.  Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.  The signals men send have 4 main levels – According to Christian Carter:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life – stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”
3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future

The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.  That’s great news to women… Men can’t help it!  You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.

If I had a dime for every time I was attracted to a man that was NOT emotionally available, I’d likley be a very wealthy woman.

How many times have you found yourself falling for someone that was either just out of a realtionship or just going through a divorce?  Did you ever stop to think that you may be nothing more than the rebound girl?

At one point in time, I’d become SO good at being the rebound girl, I actually thought of turning it into a career.  The knack I had for helping men discover what they wanted out of life and love (even though it was NOT me) was almost scary.

I can’t stress enough to my personal friends and now to the readers here, that before pursuing a relationship, make sure the person is truly ready.  Being divorced (not seperated) for at least a year is a good start.

Post from: Blisstree

Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send