Many years ago in the transitional period between college and “real life” I found myself floundering around a bit and was falling into the common problem of questioning who I was if I was alone away from a boyfriend or close friends and family.  This period of life is definitely extremely challenging and can result in intense feelings of loneliness, low self-confidence, and depression.  It’s common during this time to search online and in books for self-help resources and bits of advice to give yourself direction through this confusing time.  You might find something in your searching that really relates to your situation and helps you to feel stronger when you are down.

I came across a few little colorful cards with statements on them during that time that I posted on my wall because they reminded me of the importance of being strong and independent.  I came across these cards recently and I wanted to share them because even now just reading them reminds me that just saying the words out loud can sometimes have a big effect on how you feel about yourself.  Here are my special cards:

• My positive thoughts create a positive life.
• You can reshape your thinking so that you never have to think in negatives again.  You and only you choose your thoughts.
• My destiny is mine to control.
• When you acquire enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, it’s almost impossible for you to be controlled and manipulated by anybody else.
• When you are at peace with yourself and love yourself, it is virtually impossible to be self-destructive.
• I love myself — body, mind, and soul.

These statements are so simple, but so strong!  If you find yourself in a lonely place where you might be struggling with a recent break-up or living in a new city by yourself, try reading these statements and see if they can bring some strength to you as well.

Post from: Blisstree

It All Starts With Loving Yourself

Yesterday we talked about Hillary’s big social crime, which is to play men’s games by men’s rules rather than to attempt to play them with feminine roles.

I was reading Leslie Bennett’s FEMININE MISTAKE, THE: ARE WE GIVING UP TOO MUCH? last night and she made a point applicable to Hillary.

“Conveying their strengths and attainments to others is so far from the expected female style of self-effacement that women experience it as ‘bragging’ – in other words, socially unacceptable boastfulness. . . For middle-class American women, the constraint is clear: talking about your own accomplishments in a ways that calls attention to yourself is not acceptable . . . Girls are supposed to be ‘humble’ – not try to take the spotlight, emphasize the ways they are just like everyone else, and de-emphasize the ways they are special.”

One of Hillary’s big sins against the feminine ideal is that she doesn’t self-deprecate.

Women aren’t supposed to like themselves. Notice this the next time you get together with your girls. See who, if anyone, says something good about themselves.

As an experiment I’ve been saying good things about myself when around other women – it’s usually met with a pregnant pause.

Last month at my book club a friend was very delicately telling me I need better photos on my blog and should really invest in a good camera.

I realize that, I told her. I’m an excellent photographer. I’ve won awards for photography and it’s embarrassing for me to put so-so or crappy pictures up. But, I’m a camera snob – I want one that will let me use my creative skills with a zoom lens and I’m not going to settle for the $100 piece of crap we can afford to buy right now.

Pregnant pause.

What did I do? I complimented myself without shame. Women don’t know what to do with that because what I’m supposed to say, by social contract, is that I’m such a loser, a mediocre photographer, too lazy or maybe I should take a class.

I get a similar reaction when I compliment my own breasts instead of one-uping another woman’s dislike of her own thighs.

What does Hillary do? She says she’s the best – not only better than all the other women, but she says, boldly and in public, that’s she’s better than even the best man up there.

I’m excellent at foreign-policy. I’ve got the best healthcare plan. I can balance the budget better than he can. I am the best person for the job. I’m the most qualified candidate.

With self-deprecation as our national feminine pass-time where women call themselves “loser mom” for a simple mistake and not meeting up to an ideal of perfection, where one can’t speak to other women without telling each other how imperfect and fallible they are, Hillary’s confidence breaks all the rules.

Watching some women criticize Hillary is like a flashback to mean girl drama of the the 7th grade, “You’re so conceited!”

I hope she wins. If only, so she can show us how to grow a self esteem.

Image source: Newscom.com

Post from: Blisstree

Hillary’s “Feminine Ideal” Sin