Fleetingly.

And you all know that I am as honest as the day comes.

I was exhausted. I was not just tired, I was exhausted to the point that getting up in the morning was painful. I would daydream about naptime and I would forfeit my lunch just to get a few more minutes of precious sleep.

I was physically abused but a 2 year old who was scared of everything around him, who was in constant sensory overload (and thus in a constant state of flight or flight), who could not understand or speak the language, who was medically ill (ear infections, food allergies and intolerances, H Pylori, yeast infections, etc), and who was so frightened that I would leave his sight that he would hurt himself if I left the room or took the garbage out.

I was emotionally drained by a depression that took hold because this was not at ALL what I expected, by family who wanted normalcy, by ailing fathers, by anger and grief of what might have been.

So I can understand why parents seek alternatives or solutions for their children but I am sure NOT about to give up my fight to help my child.

Most adoptions are successful, between 80 and 90 percent. However, sometimes things just happen. Sometimes medical issues arise like fetal alcohol syndrome or mental health issues. Sometimes it just is not a good match and safety becomes a primary consideration for all those involved.

In a nutshell, the older the child is at placement, the higher the risk of adoption disruption. It is extremely rare, at less than 1%, for an infant adoption to disrupt. Depending on the group being studied, the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse says that the disruption rate can range from 3 to 53 percent.

According to the Chicago Tribune article, Ranch Raises Hopes for Adoptees, disruptions and dissolutions are up because of the amount of international adoptions and the lack of parental training prior to adoptions.

First, as Americans adopted more children from overseas — the figures have almost tripled since 1990 — the number of children with despairing behaviors grew, and these children are now hitting adolescence, when their rages are more dangerous.

Moreover, many parents were unprepared for the challenges, in part because agencies glossed over their charges’ complex medical histories — or omitted them altogether. “Now, they’re out there all alone … living in a constant state of crisis,” said Amy Groessl, a therapist with the Children’s Research Triangle in Chicago, which serves high-risk families.

Read Nancy Spoolstra’s article When to Hold and When to Fold about her own families adoption disruptions and dissolutions. I have spoken to her a few times about AJ and how to handle family issues and she is insightful.

Post from: Blisstree

Adoption Disruptions/Dissolutions Increase