Stereotypes are borne out of prejudices and not from well-founded thought. Some are generated from inferred evidence and others, uh — from real encounters? Heehee. The latter is not a cause for us to generalise, though. That would be a tad bit unfair for the rest. The society and our culture have a lot to do with the foundation of stereotyping. So, that’s a step to understanding this particular human behaviour.

This subject first came to my attention here at Dating Dames when it was raised in the conversation a few of us had when I’d written a post about how men find women who eat sexy. It made me see how stereotyping affects the dating scene or our choices on who to date, at least.

It caught up with me yet again when I talked about the Sex and the City character, Miranda’s skinny jean fashion-turned-dating experience over at Tops 2 Bottoms when it was noticed that in the show, she kept dating geeks or geeky-looking guys. In short, she’s been pegged as the geek-magnet reasoning that compared to rest of her friends, she’s the “plain” one.

It, therefore, raised a few questions like what type of guys do plain-looking and/or geeky girls get and it further reinforces the idea that hot girls = hot guys [Which we all know is total bullocks. Heh.].

It makes me wonder, though. Just how much of our dating preferences are influenced by stereotyping? Coming from someone who thinks she’s a poor judge of character [that'd be me. hehehe.], how can you tell if you’re gaining or losing something or, better yet or worse — someone — when you do stereotype?

Or is it just a case of “whatever works”?

Personal opinion: Always give them the benefit of the doubt, you really can’t know the person by simply looking at or by trusting what other people say about him or her, don’t you agree? There’s always a reason behind everything and it’s always worth taking the risk [what's there to lose?]. What good would it do to stereotype, anyway? This other person just might surprise you. Think of it this way, he or she might be “the one”. Heehee.

Post from: Blisstree

The Subject of Stereotypes: Risk or Opportunity?

“If she hasn’t given you her weekend, then don’t even say you guys are dating.”

I lifted this thought from a friend’s post, which was quickly followed by a number of people commenting that they agree with it.

Hmmm.

I guess, it’s time for my *opinionated* self to dissect the said thought. Hehehe.

The essence of the statement is as real as the sky is blue. Well, from where you’re standing, looking up, you’d see that it is blue but if you try to bottle up the sky, it’s not really blue, right?

Alright. Alright. I know you may be thinking — what does the sky have to do with dating on a weekend? Uh — just give me a chance to explain, people!

The essence that I was referring to was the importance of “time allotment” in dating. Some schedules are simply too cramped for dating. Or perhaps priorities differ for each person. Bottomline, giving significance to going out on weekends is somewhat silly.

To further elaborate, let me illustrate.

Girl A [let's call her Isabel] keeps a 58-hour work week on the average and has her weekends free for leisure activities with friends, family or dates. Girl B [let's call her Alyssa] keeps a normal 9-5 job and spends her weekend doing volunteer work, hobbies and activities with family and friends.

For Isabel, weekends are quite normal for dates and is no inconvenience to give up. For Alyssa, it’s the only time for her to do the things she loves and prefers to go out on a weekday, thus, making weekends strictly a time for personal space.

Get the picture?

If you try to define dating in terms of what days in the week you go out on is really silly. It simply cannot be limited to that! Hahaha. I’d like to say that it’s the frequency and the quality of the dates, which the two of you have that matters and will ultimately define whether if you guys are, indeed, dating or not.

*End of opinion*

Post from: Blisstree

On Giving Up Your Weekend

I’ve heard women classified as desperate by people when they’ve reached the threshold of eligibility, ergo, making them spinsters if not, candidates, at least.

Tell me, is there a definitive deadline for someone to choose a mate before labeling her a spinster?

Once a woman sees this possibility, it scares her. It then creates a domino effect of bad choices, one jerk after the other. Making her believe in the lie that she has to grab what’s there for the taking. It’s sad, really.

What makes a woman lose her right to choose her mate in the first place? Is it if she doesn’t fit the mold as to what the society dictates to be beautiful? Is it if she doesn’t run in the same social circle as the guy’s? Or is it because she’s simply was branded less of a human being since she never finished a degree or only speaks one language?

Questions that need answering. I’m hoping to find positive and real ones since I’m one of the people who advocates that anyone can afford to be romantic and ask for the ideal. I believe that one should never settle on something or someone less than he or she deserves.

Post from: Blisstree

Can you afford to be romantic?