I can only picture what this father is thinking at the moment. I mean when you think of your 12-year-old daughter, you might think of her just getting

IMG: Sxc.hu

The girl’s mother had allowed the boy to move into their home, but the DOCS failed to take any action despite her father’s repeated pleas with the staff.

Cops said that they were also unable to intervene because both children were under the age of consent, and they could have only started a criminal investigation if the boy was 18.

The girl’s father, who is separated from the mother, discovered she was pregnant after he took custody of her in March.

And now, the girl is halfway through her pregnancy.

Her father is angry that it was the news of her pregnancy that made government agencies to finally take notice of the situation.

What would you have done? Obviously this man’s hands were tied, the courts wouldn’t listen to him and he didn’t have custody to prevent this. When he finally got custody she was already pregnant. Now instead of planning first dates, prom and high school dances he’ll be preparing a baby shower, the birth or adoption. I haven’t read yet if they plan on adopting the baby.

Linda Burney, the NSW Community Services Minister has stated that the department should’ve done something before it came to this point. She has admitted they were in the wrong and should’ve intervened. She even states that the father of the 12-year-old did contact them back in March but nothing was really done.

Oh but get this, the 15-year-old boyfriend that got her pregnant has been banned to see her. Umm, I think the damage is already done, she’s already pregnant and can’t get pregnant again for at least a few more months. Any thoughts on this?

If you are the parent of a young child, pregnant, breastfeeding or thinking of becoming pregnant, the swine flu, also known as the H1N1 virus, should be of particular concern to you.

During a pandemic, children and pregnant women are at high risk of serious complications and even death if they become ill with the flu, according to the March of Dimes. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has developed extensive plans for minimizing the impact of the pandemic flu, and once a vaccine has been developed for the virus causing the pandemic, pregnant women and children from age 6 to 35 months would be given highest priority for receiving it.

For information on how to protect yourself, your unborn child and your young children visit these sites from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

Information for Concerned Parents and Caregivers

Guidance for Prevention and Control of influenza in the Peri- and Postpartum Settings

Photo, Flickr, honey-bee

The “Octomom” (Nadya Suleman), has us talking about a lot of things these days relating to babies and childcare. Now, new research suggests that have multiple births can increase the mother’s risk of postpartum depression.

Researchers did not get into the specifics of why this happens, but with multiple births I’m sure the stress of handling so many babies at once certainly can add to things.

The study was out ” April 1 in the journal Pediatrics.” With Octomom in the news lately, it brings this information to the forefront. Postpartum is a serious disease and new moms should seek help from their doctor at the first sign of depression.

Image: sxc.hu.

Ok. I’m not pregnant. It was an April Fool’s Day joke. I’m sorry. Go ahead and throw that tomato, but truth be told, the whole post sort of shook me up a bit. Really.

Negative

I wrote that post from the perspective of actually being accidentally pregnant – as an actor would preparing for a role in a movie, I suppose. I tried to take on the thoughts and fears and excitement I would have felt. Those feelings were real. And for a moment – no, a while – I was actually a little disappointed not to be pregnant.

I had never questioned having an only child. My husband wanted another baby and I didn’t rule it out. But I never had the longing. And, sort of passively aggressively, I let time slip away until it became no longer plausible.

It does give me pause, at times, when my darling son asks if he can have a brother. (He wants an older one.) There are women who would give their life’s blood to carry a baby, yet each month I am preventing this well-working mechanism in my own body. Should I feel guilty for not giving my son a companion to share his 5-year-old dreams, a best friend for life? Am I selfish for wanting just one child?

According to OnlyChild.com, the percentage of women who have only one child has more than doubled in the past 20 years, making only-child families the fast growing families in this country. Figures recently released by the Office for National Statistics, the UK’s “statistics authority,” families with only one child now make up 46 percent of all families in Britain, a number that’s jumped four percent since last year. This only-child trend, affectionately coined “little emperors” by China which imposed a one-child family limit, has taken root in Britain, so say the experts, because of the need for mothers to work, the high cost of raising children, and the prevalence of family breakups and single parenthood.

Are my reasons as rational? Maybe not. Mine are more selfish. But it is a decision I made and, at this point, there’s no looking back.

Source: Daily Mail

JWJourney

With the World Health Organization recommending only 1 ultrasound, around 18 weeks of pregnancy, for uncomplicated pregnancies, the 2 or 3 ultrasounds that pregnant women in Canada seem to be getting is many more than ideal.

The Public Health Agency of Canada’s Maternity Experiences Survey, based on interviews by Statistics Canada, involved 6,421 women. Virtually all women had at least one ultrasound, but the average was 3. If that’s the average, it means several women had more than 3. If you look at the comments in the article linked below, you’ll see that some women have them routinely once a month.

Although it’s fun to see your baby with ultrasound technology, the long-term effects of these tests aren’t known. They may seem harmless, but they are an intervention, which really shouldn’t be done unless there’s a good reason.

There are other interesting findings from the study as well. According to the CBC article, Canadian women receiving extra ultrasounds: maternity report , while women in the territory of Nunavut experienced more abuse, less folic acid before pregnancy, and postpartum depression, they were found to be more likely breastfeed exclusively for at least six months after birth.

Women in the rest of Canada reported over 25% had Cesarean sections, hospitals are still doing enemas, shaving, and using stirrups, and very few (4.1%) of women used midwives. On the bright side, 92.3% of low income women drank no alcohol compared with 88.2% of higher income women.

What was your experience like?

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Images: Newscom and iStock

One quarter of all pregnant women experience migraines. Now, a new study suggests that migraines can be an indicator of stroke, heart disease, or vascular problems as well.

According to the Ithica Journal, pregnant women who have migraines “are 15 times more likely than other women to suffer a stroke, twice as likely to have heart disease and three times more likely to have blood clots and other vascular problems during pregnancy.”

The study also found that women over 35 were more likely to experience migraines. The condition was also present in white more often than in other ethnic or racial groups.

Image from sxc.

When I was a teen (in the dark ages), the most women had to worry about if they were sexually active was getting pregnant or catching a treatable sexually transmitted disease (STD). Because of the pregnancy concern, the Pill was a major breakthrough for women, changing their lives.

Unfortunately, the world has changed significantly since the 70s. Now, sex without a barrier method of protection is like playing Russian Roulette. I don’t think we should even call barrier protection birth control. That’s a misnomer, in my mind. Those barriers are life-savers. They prevent the transmission of illnesses like HIV, which may develop into AIDS.

Of course, there’s also the age-old problem of some men not wanting to wear a condom. They don’t like it makes them feel, they say it takes away from the spur of the moment, the don’t like wearing them, and so on. In many cases, the women have no say and they give in.

Talk of a female condom has been around for years. But now the talk is a reality. Although an earlier version of the female condom has been around for a while, it had its critics. This one, the second generation is supposed to be less expensive and easy to use.

According to this press release issued by the Center for Health & Gender Equity (CHANGE):

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) granted regulatory approval to the FC2 female condom, a lower-cost, second generation product manufactured by the Female Health Company — a move widely praised by HIV/AIDS and women’s health and rights advocates globally.

“We join women around the world in applauding the FDA’s swift action to approve the FC2 female condom,” stated Serra Sippel, executive director of the Center for Health and Gender Equity. “The HIV pandemic among women requires increased investment in woman-centered prevention options, and FC2 approval is an important step forward in putting the power of prevention in women’s hands.”

Something like this can help women take charge of their lives; it can have a significant impact.

Every girl needs to know how to protect herself before she becomes sexually active. Hopefully, with new products like an affordable and easy-to-use condom, this will be easier to do.

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Images: Newscom.com

Remember when we used to have to wear a mumu to disguise our bumps?

I read an article where Hillary Clinton described being pregnant as a young lawyer and none of the other (male) lawyers in her firm would even acknowledge that she was pregnant. For nine months she grew and grew and no one would look at her.

Things have gotten a bit better for us, eh?

As per a request by Janet, a fellow mom who feels my spotty pain with the blasted pregnancy mask, I’m going to tell you about the cure for my acne.

When I was pregnant with Ainsley my lovely, clean, smooth skin turned into a gigantic, painful zit. On my face, neck, chest, stomach, back, butt, thighs I had terrible, painful, ugly cystic acne. I was going to some stupid midwife who said the less medication I used the better. It was so bad I got a facial and I could tell the lady was simply disgusted by my skin. It was humiliating. I figured it would go away after the pregnancy. Wrong.

Finally, I asked my regular internist for something and he gave me Benzaclin. It’s a topical gel or cream with benzoyl peroxide and clindamycin, a topical antibiotic. It worked and if you follow the link the company will give you a $15 rebate on your prescription.

My current OB/GYN, not a crazy no-medicine-allowed midwife, said Benzaclin was perfectly safe to use during pregnancy and breast feeding so I was spared the trauma of turning into a gigantic freaking zit this time around.

I’ve run out of my prescription though and am using a salicylic acid toner, salicylic acid apricot scrub face wash, Noxema Deep Cleansing Cream and a Burt’s Bees Parsley Blemish Stick. Add to that I’m spending WAY too much money on moisturizer cause I bought the new Olay Definity, which is like $30, to repair 10 layers of damage including the brown spots and acne scars. If it helps it hasn’t worked as quickly as I would like. But, we shall see.  You can get a $3 coupon on the Olay website.

I’m making an appointment with a dermatologist for heaven’s sake. I have insurance. I’ve spent entirely too much time and money trying creams and potions that may or may not even work.

I know a few new moms who are finding the transition to Mommy difficult. I can totally relate. I suffered Post-Partum Depression pretty severely after the birth of my first child. I had just witnessed 9-11 which was traumatic and that most likely contributed to the severity of my PPD. I’ve written a little bit about it on So Sioux Me so you can read Fear Not, if you want to know more details about my extremely difficult transition into Mama.

I’ve had a second child since then and I have had five years to reflect on the massive overhaul of identity that happens when independent and empowered women become mothers and I’ve never felt like the reality of what becoming a whole new entity gets any validity.

So allow me to rant about becoming Mommy. Maybe, if you’re a new mom and feeling not at all like yourself and kind of depressed, you can relate. And hopefully, actually my prayer is, that if you find yourself relating this will bring you a little bit of peace about what you’re going through.

In America we totally minimize birth and the real trauma of the whole ordeal. One minute you’re You. A woman who gets things done. Maybe you order underlings around at work or earn the respect of coworkers with your skills. You have money to play around with, gets to wear clothes you like, cash a paycheck and invest in whatever. You make deals or writes articles or manage a business or do whatever you do in your career. You communicate with adults frequently and daily on an intellectual level.

Your body was yours and you shared it when you felt like it and didn’t when you didn’t want to. You had a regular cycle and hormones that had been predictable.  Therefore you’d learned how to manage your monthly issues since you were 12. 

Now BAM you’re body has experienced this traumatic violent event - birth. Personally, I thought it was about as violent as being hit by a car. You wouldn’t emotionally bounce back from that in six weeks, I don’t understand why Americans expect women to bounce back from birth in a month and a half. The event changed your hormones, shape, vajayjay and everything else about you. You gave up your body for nine months to grow a foreign life and told yourself you’d be back to normal after birth. Dream On. Now you’re a milk machine. Now you smell of puke. Now you never sleep.

You feel like you are no longer YOU anymore. Your whole entire identity has gone through a dramatic and intense transformation. That’s takes more than six weeks or twelve weeks or four months or a year to adjust to. You don’t do the things that used to define You as You.

If you’re staying at home not working means you’re not getting any outside validation for the job you’re doing. You’re getting no paycheck. You’re only getting poopy diapers and the occasional smile or giggle, but it’s hard to cash that at the bank. You have to cut costs as expenses rise and you kind of resent not having your hair done like you used to.

Your husband thinks you’re doing fandiddly-taskic - so obviously he’s not very tuned in to what is actually going on with you. Which equals even less validation. But, there’s no way he can really understand because becoming Dad may be an awesome journey for him, but he’s still going to work, cashing a check and gets a lot of time away from the needy baby. And no one is sucking on his body half the day.

So what I’m saying is that what you are going through is NORMAL. It sucks but it’s normal. You are doing everything right. What you are doing does matter in the long run and it’s a valid and legitimate thing to be doing right now. You just have to realize that you are never ever going to get the same emotional kick-back from diapers and naps that you used to get cutting a massive deal in pharmaceuticals or whatever you did. The pay-off is different and there’s not a lot of instant gratification staying home with a baby. It takes time and practice to get used to. 

I now believe that being a stay-at-home-mom is a craft. Just like writing or any other profession. You have to learn how to do it. You have to make a structure for yourself. If you wake up everyday and just wander around and only do whatever you feel like doing then you will become clinically depressed. Period. You used to look forward to weekends cause it was Your time-off. But, now what do you look forward to? I can tell you the answer - you look forward to your husband coming home from work and you look forward to his time off.

I know you don’t want to, but you really have to get out of the house every single day for something - anything. A walk. A neighbor’s house. A grocery store trip. A mommy-baby sign language class. You have to leave the house daily.

You also have to “accomplish” at least one thing every day so you don’t feel like a total loser. Laundry is something. Cleaning the bathroom is something. Doing a budget is something. Find something every day that you can accomplish and then feel proud of yourself for doing it.

And really you must ditch that baby! If you are taking the baby on your dates with hubby, that’s ridiculous! You mustleave the baby sometimes or you will lose Self. If You lose You all is lost, because the baby needs You to be You and not some drone who smells like puke and feels like crap. Go out with other women without the baby. Supplement with formula or pump, it’s not that big of a deal. Join a book club. Go to a movie. Go out to dinner. Join a gym and leave her in the nursery for an hour while you work out or take a yoga class. You can not become only mom. You must also be You who has other interests outside the home. Otherwise you’re just the weird crazy lady who believes the baby will die if she goes out to lunch. That’s the definition of insanity! The baby can be without you for a few hours. The baby shouldbe without you for a few hours or she will have attachment issues in only a few short months and that will not be fun for you or her.

Stop reading parenting magazines. They should all be titled “How many ways can you accidentally kill your baby.” They induce anxiety and you do not need that much information. They are full of crap most of the time. Too much information is just scaring you can creating anxiety. You don’t need to know about every freak accident that might possibly happened to a kid. Throw them away, stop your subscription and buy Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby. She’ll give sound advice without making you a panicked mess.

Honestly, physiologically and psychologically, you need to exercise. You just have to force yourself to do it. The endorphins you get from exercise are worth any anti-depressant on the market. Your poor body just went through a massive hormonal surge with way to much estrogen and then almost none overnight. Be kind to your new body and feed your brain some endorphins.

You probably don’t want to follow this advice if you’re suffering from PPD, but get off your butt and do it anyway.

If you are having compulsive thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby, which now that my child is five, I will admit to having had them. You need to tell your OB/GYN that you’re having brief flickering thoughts of hurting your self (really, I think that’s enough information to give him a picture of what’s going on without getting any authorities involved) and get some medication. The Le Leche League has a list of anti-depressants that you can take while breast feeding.

That said, I wonder if what new moms are really experiencing is a full-blown identity crisis resulting from adding MOM to the mix of SELF.