We can use lessons from the workplace to help teens with homework.

A new study found a link between degrading lyrics and teen sex.

Teen obesity is just as deadly as teen smoking.

R-rated movies are prompting teens to smoke.

Today’s teens are volunteering, even more than working part-time.

Teenagers addicted to the internet may have more aggressive behavior than teens without the addiction.

Teens and young adults are concerned about finances and expect to cut back on items like electronics and snacks.

Need some tips to help your high school student overcome an eating disorder?

Kids are giving up social networking sites for Lent.

In the U.S. young people from 15- to 24-years-old spend less than nine minutes a day reading for pleasure.

Pimps are recruiting young girls on social networking sites like MySpace.

The debate on lower the drinking age continues to rage on.

States are cracking down on the “cool parents. About half of the states have introduced social hosting laws to discourage (and severely fine) adults who supply alcohol to teenagers.

A defensive driving school helps prepare teens for potential driving hazards they may not have encountered in regular drivers ed.

Do parents really not matter when it comes to raising kids?

But if parents do matter, here are some tips on keeping close ties with your tween or teen.

The gloves are on. In this corner Disney. In that corner Nickelodeon.

Did you catch the Jonas Brothers on Barbara Walters Oscar special. They talked about everything from success to failure, diabetes, and dating.

Post from: Blisstree

Sunday Reading

The gist of the fight was over his learner’s permit. That permit has been the cause of several disagreements in the last week. Who knew one little piece of plastic could be so controversial?

Basically my husband took the teen to the DOT to replace his lost driving permit. It cost $3 to replace it. Since the teen didn’t have any money, my husband paid for it. All along we were expecting the teen to pay us back for it. However, all along the teen expected us to just pay for it because we are the parent and he is the son.

This is where the argument comes in.

My husband asked the teen to go mow the neighbor’s lawn (the neighbor also happens to be the teen’s uncle). He told him he needed to mow so he could get some money and pay us back the $3 for the permit. The teen flipped. “Pay you back? Why would I pay you back?” We tried to explain that we paid for the original permit. When he lost that one, the replacement became his responsibility. The teen said we never told him he’d have to pay us back.

“Why would I go mow the lawn just so I can give you the money I earn? Then I don’t have any money for myself. I might as well not mow.” As you know, we’ve had these conversations (or ones like them) many times before. A teen’s logic just astounds me. The concept that you would earn money so you can pay me back and then have your own money the next time is completely lost on teens.

He went on to say that if he knew he had to pay it back he may not have borrowed the money. Which is usually a fair argument, but not in this case. I said, “How would you have driven at driver’s ed last night with no permit? Didn’t you HAVE to have a permit?” To which he responded, “Well yeah, but for other things you make me pay you back and you don’t tell me in advance.”

And here lies the root of the problem. The argument wasn’t really about a $3 learner’s permit. It was about choices, responsibility and respect. He feels like we don’t respect him enough to give him the choice to borrow money, just give him money or let him go without. We just force our will on him at our whim. He feels that at time we treat him like a little kid who can’t make his own decision. And we feel like we are being nice by loaning him money and getting no respect or appreciation in return. Who’s right? We’re both right. Who’s wrong? We’re both wrong. At least on some levels. This raising teenagers business is quite the tango.

In the end we decided going forward we would make it very clear when we expect him to pay us back. Going forward we will make it a point to say, “I will loan you this $3, but you need to pay me back.” And then he can make the choice to either take the money and pay us back or decline the money. Then everybody will be on the same page and there will be no surprises.

Post from: Blisstree

The Teenage Tango

By the time I was in high school, the relationship between my stepmom and I really deteriorated. Part of it (actually most of it) was my teenage angst and part of it was my stepmom’s inexperience at being a stepmom. I thought she loved my half-brother and sister more. She thought I was a spoiled brat. Honestly I think we were both a little right.

By the time I was getting read to graduate from high school we were fighting a lot. I often told my dad I was going to move out east (over a thousand miles away) to live with my mom. I know it broke his heart when I said that, but I didn’t realize just how much until I had my own children. At the time it was just the best insult I could use because I wasn’t brave enough to actually call my parents names.

Now I’m a mom and a stepmom. My stepson lives with us and has for many years. He’s a super kid. All of his teachers say he’s a pleasure to have in class. Everybody who meets him thinks he’s an awesome teen. He’s loving. He’s polite. He stays out of trouble. He really is a great person. Except for one thing…schoolwork.

As you know, we’ve been struggling with him to get his grades up for years. His grades are the catalyst behind most of our arguments. We are only a week and a half away from the end of the school year and we are still struggling to get him to get his homework turned in.

Today we got in to another fight about it. It really wasn’t the best time to nag him about his homework since he wasn’t feeling well. But I persisted anyway, against my better judgment. He’s never thrilled with my nagging, but today was even worse. He was defiant and angry. He was giving me the eye rolling and the “just leave me alone” and I lost it. It was not my proudest mommy moment.

In the midst of our yelling fest I turned in to my parents and said, “this is my house and you will follow my rules.” To which he said, “then I’ll just move.” This was his way of saying he’ll move in with his mom. He has given me the “I’m going to move in with mom” speech before, so I know it well.

I know he doesn’t mean it. He has a lot of friends here. He likes his school (although not his homework). He has a lot of family here. He likes living with us. And as a child of divorce myself, I’m familiar with this line of defense. As I said, I played the “I’ll just move in with mom” card myself when I was a teenager.

But, even though I know it’s just something he said in the heat of the moment, it still stings. It’s the same when you child says, “I hate you” or “you don’t love me anymore.” Kids know how to push our buttons. He knows saying that will hurt my feelings and likely shut me up. It’s devastating to hear you child tell you they don’t want to live with you anymore.

As I thought about it later I realized I needed that. Sometimes as parents we need our kids to say these nasty things to us to let us we’ve lost control. He made it clear he didn’t feel well. I said what I had to say within the first two minutes of the conversation which was “you need to talk to your Biology teacher about your assignments tomorrow.” The conversation should have ended there. But when he rolled his eyes and talked back I wanted to get the upper hand. I wanted to be right. I wanted to win. But I’m the adult and I need to act like it.

I guess living with teenagers isn’t always about me teaching them how to be a grown up. Sometimes they need to remind me to act like one.

Post from: Blisstree

Sometimes Teens Teach Us Instead Of The Other Way Around

Ahhh, the teen years. How much freedom to you give them? When do you let them make their own mistakes without stepping in and fixing things? I thought that taking care of them as toddlers was a hard stage. It can’t hold a candle to what is to come. There is just soooo much to think about. And then you have to hope that you make all the right decisions.

This is the time when you help to shape them into the adults that they will soon become. When we get to the other side, I think medals should be handed out… because chances are that all that hard work has created a person you can be proud of!

Source

Post from: Blisstree

Treasures in Odd Shapes