They begin with a group date and then progress through individual dates and getting-to-know-you clue-type “games.” For example they have a sketch artist draw the daters by verbal description (describing people they have not seen yet), or they see what their apartments look like when they are gone (Once a woman had ants. Oh, the horror. Sheesh. It was just ants), and last night they checked out the clothes that the daters had slept in. (A stained t-shirt?  He’s a single guy. They are not known for laundry skills. C’mon).

The daters do some sort of personality test, because at one point they find out whom they are most compatible with, but sometimes the numbers of the matches are so low that this part really does not say much. (A 63% match? That’s good?).

The couples go on a last dark date – they can make more than one choice here – and then they decide whom they want to see in the light. The light part is very, very awkward. The daters stand in the dark until first one, then the other is lit up. It’s got to feel so strange to stand there knowing that an unseen person is sizing you up. After that, they decide if they want to date further, away from the show. The daters have to wait on a balcony and their choice will either meet them there, or they will leave by the front door. The dater can actually see that person exciting the house, from the balcony. This part, I feel it’s brutal.

The point of the show is the question of how much do looks really matter?  Apparently, they matter a lot to most of the daters. You see the reactions – the lit person smiles, the dark person smiles in response, and then they go back to those waiting and say, “Well she didn’t blow me away,” or “Well he was cute, but I think he looks more like a friend or a brother.” 

The daters say this after “chemistry” has already been established. After they’ve found that conversation comes easily and they have much in common. After they’ve already been making out in the dark. Suddenly a guy turns into your “brother” because you can see his face?  (And what kind of relationship do you have with your brother?)

Here’s my opinion – these people want to be single. They are single because they have ridiculous expectations and inflated egos.  Looks fade. We all age and not a single one of these daters is a stunner to begin with.

What do you think the key to a good marriage is? Is it hotness?  I seriously doubt it. When dating, how about a compromise?  If a person’s looks don’t totally repulse you, then give it a try. Attraction does not come from looks alone.

Or stay single. It’s your choice.

Image credit: Sxc.hu

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Dating in the Dark

One thing I’ve really enjoyed about the show is seeing the chefs become so competitive. They are given these outrageous challenges, like cooking from a vending machine, and in a college dorm room, and with mystery ingredients, and they really jump in and get in the spirit. They enjoy the challenge. They enjoy food. It makes you have a whole new appreciation for cooking.

Take a look at a recent clip from the show:

The finale is on tonite, with the last remaining three chefs competing for the top prize. But really, I think, the real winner is the viewer. I’ve learned a lot from these guys.

Image: Zuma Press

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Top Chef Masters Finale on Tonite

Image:  sxc.hu.

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Ruby Inspiring Others to Lose Weight

The ladies in the promos are very pretty, perfectly coiffed and made up, talking about how much they want to find a true love story. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing, so I plan to watch the More To Love when it premieres on July 28, 2009.

Leah thinks that they should have picked a handsomer man, but I think he looks like a regular guy, which is what I think they are going for with this one.

Here’s a bit more from the shows website at Fox:

FOX is setting out to prove that love comes in all shapes and sizes with the new inspirational dating competition series MORE TO LOVE. Executive-produced by Mike Fleiss (”The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette”), the unscripted series follows a single average guy with a big waist and an even bigger heart as he romances several confident and secure plus-size women. Each week, the husky hunk will wine and dine a group of curvy women to determine if they have more love to give or if they are truly more than he can handle. When the size of competition narrows, he will have to decide if one full-figured lady will become his true love.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

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More To Love, Real-size Reality Dating Show

IMG: Mark Arbeit / TLC

The first two seasons were great, but I think the “reality” part of it started getting in the way. Cameras were constantly around, Kate is a control freak, Jon is too laid back, the couple would soon have their entire lives on camera. Many believed this couple would make it after their renewel wedding vows in Hawaii but it only seem to pull them apart more. Rumors are swirling that the couple are both seeing other people, or one is and the other isn’t, etc, the rumors continue. But here’s a thought that some are thinking but others are not.

What about the children in this reality show? Sure we see their cute little faces every week, but that doesn’t really tell us how they are doing. The press is constantly there, asking them questions and now they can possibly see the rumors going around about their parents, I mean they do go shopping. Have the kids seen it? Can they see the stress between their parents? Do children at school ask them questions about it? What do they know? How does reality tv hurt the children and how much will a divorce hurt them?

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Does Reality TV Families Split up Families?

I’ve read about Jon and Kate  Gosselin. Especially about Kate, people really love-to-hate her, which I find oddly fascinating. She’s just a mom, trying to do her best, like any other mom. I don’t get the venom, the hate, the Kate-as-the-devil-ness of it all. People go on about how she speaks to Jon, talking down to him, or whatever, but that’s behavior that I’ve seen in many relationships. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes it’s the way married people relate.

Lately, there have been headlines about Jon’s possible affair (denied) or Kate’s possible affair (denied).  I’m not there with Jon and Kate, I can’t see how they live their lives away from the camera, but I don’t think that these people have had affairs. I can’t imagine anyone with that many kids having the energy to have an affair – I know I’m exhausted daily by my four.

There’s also the issue of no privacy. I can see a flirtation that troubles a marriage springing up – these are regular people with cameras pointed at them all the time, their egos can’t help but be inflated by that attention. Marriage and raising kids – these are challenging endeavors. Even famous people are only human.

Kate has taken to PEOPLE magazine to voice her concerns.

“I don’t know that we’re in the same place anymore, that we want the same thing,” she says quietly. “I’ve been struggling with the question of ‘Who is this person?’ for a while. I remember where I was the first time I heard her name. It’s one of those things where you can try to make it go away, but there’s blaring, red flashing lights.”

The name to which Kate refers belongs to 23-year-old Deanna Hummel, whose brother later claimed she’d been having a months-long affair with Jon.

I’m no marriage counselor, but airing private maritial matters out in such a public arena, how can that help? 

 
Reality TV appears to be hell on marriages – only the Osbourne’s marriage appears to have emerged unscathed. Okay, maybe that’s not the only one, but when I think back to the couples and families I’ve watched – families that a show focused on – they are it. And they’ve made it through addiction and cancer, so I’d say the Osbournes are a forever match. I sure hope that Jon and Kate can figure it out, because otherwise, one of them is going to go broke paying child support.

Image credit: All Posters.com

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Jon and Kate’s Marriage

A couple of years ago, I started watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 – mostly because of the “mothers of multiples” connection. However, within two seasons I was over the show and ready to move on to something bigger – like Little People Big World.

When first watching the show, it was reassuring to me to see another mother struggling with day-to-day activities and just getting from the waking up part of the day to the lights out part of the night without losing her mind completely.

What I found toward the end of season two was that the show was actually stressing me out. Seriously!

Certainly my being OCD myself, I can understand some of Kate’s demands, but come’on – she’s getting a little over the top. I know it’s probably more for show than anything – but there has to be a line where you realize it’s time to stop play acting and start actually living life!

I’m glad the show has last as long as it has, but sometimes it’s just time to move on and let families be families in peace. They have their new big fine home and lots of room for the kiddos to grow – but I think the show has run it’s course and should end before those kids get old enough to be bullied too much in school.

Sometimes privacy is a good thing and now is the time for Jon & Kate Gosselin to think about finding an appreciation for privacy and make way for some other family to be invaded by TLC/Discovery Health for a while.

Should Jon & Kate call it quits? You tell me – hot or not?

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Jon & Kate Plus 8 – Hot or Not?

GEORGETOWN — A Georgetown man struggled for years, battling a painful spine injury and fighting to obtain Social Security benefits. He even reached out to a television reality show, hoping to be a better dad to his two sons.

Friday night, his struggle ended in a Georgetown cemetery. Scott Terrill died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest after a 90-minute standoff with police.

Terrill carried ”a lot of emotional baggage from the past,“ said Dwayne Russell, pastor of Safe Harbor Baptist Fellowship in Georgetown, who will officiate at his funeral.

Despite those trials, Terrill was a dedicated father, Russell said. His appearance on a Supernanny episode that first aired in January showed his ”desire to be a better dad.“

Terrill, 37, suffered from reflex sympathetic dystrophy since an accident about five years ago, said his mother, Margaret Ng.

The disorder causes sufferers to feel continuous, intense pain out of proportion to the severity of the injury, which gets worse rather than better over time. There is no cure.

Terrill had tried getting a job to work from home, but he could only sit up only a certain amount of hours of the day, Ng said.

”It might not have looked like it on the TV, but he could not get up for more than a couple hours a day because of the RSD,“ she said.

The Supernanny episode featuring Terrill first aired on Jan. 23. Terrill said he had struggled to set boundaries for his sons, Lane and Tate, who were 11 and 5 at the time, because of his own harsh childhood.

In an attempt to avoid repeating the past, Terrill went to the other extreme, where he could not set discipline in his home.

Terrill later became the mascot for the show’s ”Foxy Dad of the Year“ competition.

Ng said Terrill went camping with his sons and was also involved with his eldest son’s soccer and his children’s schooling.

”He was a loving father with a big heart,“ Ng said.

On Friday, Terrill called Georgetown police about 6:50 p.m., Capt. Scott Starns said Monday. He told police he was thinking of killing himself and had a gun.

Terrill asked to speak to Police Chief Greg Reeves, and told him he was at his father’s grave at the Georgetown Cemetery.

Officers went to the cemetery, blocking off the scene and evacuating some of the houses nearby.

As he talked to officers, Terrill had a .38-caliber handgun pressed to his chest the whole time, Starns said.

”About an hour and a half into this whole scenario, they thought progress was being made, and he just abruptly squeezed the trigger,“ Starns said.

Scott County Coroner John Goble pronounced Terrill dead at Georgetown Community Hospital about 9 p.m.

Terrill grew up in Georgetown and attended Lexington Catholic High School, where he played basketball. He obtained his GED and went to one year of college at Morehead State University, Ng said.

In 2002 he ran in the Republican primary for a state House seat against Charlie Hoffman, but lost.

At Safe Harbor Baptist Fellowship, Russell said he had not seen or spoken to Terrill in six or seven months. But he said Terrill, a likeable guy who had been active in the church, had remained in contact with other church members.

Terrill’s death has greatly affected his congregation, Russell said. Many watched Terrill grow up, and church members have helped take care of his children.

”People who are struggling with those emotional struggles, they need to get connected with other people,“ he said. ”Not one of us as human beings could handle the stresses and struggles of life by ourselves.“

A graveside service will be 10:30 a.m. Wednesday at the Georgetown Cemetery. Visitation will be 6 to 8 p.m. Tuesday at Tucker, Yocum & Wilson Funeral Home.There are two things that Scott’s story teaches us. One, is that the personal struggles (that we all face) can become overwhelming if we do not seek out support. We live in a society that makes connecting with others, easier than it has ever been. There are support groups, internet chat groups, moms groups, shows like Supernanny and many other resources for gaining emotional support. We never have to be alone, if we choose to allow others into our lives and actively seek them out. If you have suicidal thoughts, or even feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness/loneliness, please reach out to someone. There are services that are dedicated to just that purpose, like 1-800-SUICIDE. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

The second, less important lesson is this: What you see on a reality television show is never enough to assume that you know a person. Forty-three mniutes just isn’t enough time to paint a complete picture of anybody’s life. I read things about Scott that I had no idea he was dealing with. I’m sure you felt the same as you read the above excerpt. ABC had to show only the parenting aspect of Scott’s life, because of time constraints. Scott obviously dealt with so much more than what we were allowed to see. I can certainly attest to the fact that our lives are far more complicated than what you saw on March 5th’s episode of Supernanny. People assumed so many things about us, just as I’m sure they did about Scott. It is human nature to draw assumptions, I know. However, maybe this will teach us to be more compassionate when judging people based on a first impression, brief encounter, or even a television episode. Watch the Terrill episode again, this time with the knowledge that you’ve gained through this tragedy. I’m willing to bet that you will come away with a very different idea about Scott and his struggle to be a better father. I know that I sure will.

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Lessons Derived From A Tragedy

Anthony and Alice Walker along with their three children – Anthony Jr, 12, Naleila, 6, and Alyssa, 17 months, plus Marcus, a nephew who lives with them full-time will be the focus of tonights Super Nanny episode.

The Walkers no only parent their children but they also run a daycare business based in their home. Mom’s personality and attitude has rubbed off on the kids, and they’re doing whatever they feel like. Unsure of how to regain control she resorts to chasing them around the house trying to mete out discipline. Anthony Jr is a master of backchat, and Naleila and Alyssa spend their nights snuggled up with Mom and Dad. Alice wants help to set boundaries… and Dad’s just looking for a good night’s sleep!

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to see those running a daycare actually doing something proactive to help get their own family under control.

I can’t imagine placing my children in the hands of caregivers who haven’t a grip on their own situation first.

This should be a lesson to all daycare providers.  I hope many will be tuning in.

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Tonight on Supernanny – The Walker Family

Producers are holding an open casting call Saturday from noon to 5 p.m. at Gardner Village, 1100 W. 7800 South in West Jordan. Bring your whole misbehavin’ brood! For more info, call the show’s casting hotline at 877-626-6984 or visit www.abc.go.com/primetime/supernanny.

“Supernanny” producers are eager to cast in Utah after last week’s episode, featuring the Goins family from Sandy and their hyperactive 7-year-old, garnered the highest ratings of the show’s third season.

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Calling all rowdy kids and frustrated parents in Utah!