Yes, these are no doubt circulating through inboxes worldwide yet laughter is good.
Subject: That’s how the fight started
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot
As a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the
gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started…..
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My wife walked into the den & asked “What’s on the TV?”
I replied “Dust”
And that’s how the fight started…..
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Alex passed it on – so don’t blame me – oh – I posted it? Oh well…
Happy Thanksgiving
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. …read more

Don’t take them too seriously, but here are some indications that you just might have a drinking problem… if
20. You have awakened with an overwelming feeling that you should go back and apologize… but you don’t remember where.
19. The Tipsy Taxi service has banned you from all its vehicles.
18. You refer to your favorite song only by its jukebox selection numbers, G-12.
17. People consider your spouse a Saint for reasons that totally escape you.
16. Your least favorite song: “Goodnight, Sweetheart.”
15. The last time you had a legal driver’s license, so did Ted Kennedy.
14. You bought your current pick-up truck because …read more

This is from a “recovery place” hand-out that makes a bit of comical sense. Are your head and your a** where your feet are?
Where The Mind Goes, The Behind Follows
Whatever situation you find your behind in today, your mind put it there.
Your thoughts direct the flow of activity into and out of your life.
Your mind can make you ill. Your mind can make you well.
Your mind can strengthen your relationships.
Your mind will chase all friends and suitors away.
Your mind can make you wealthy. Your mind will keep you broke.
Your scattered thoughts will create confusion.
Dark thoughts will cast out creative light.
Thoughts …read more

Alex has been at it again. How many of you have noticed that us alkies can fill up the limits of an inbox in short order with forwards and large graphics etc.? Wadda bunch of hopeless romantics we all are
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice.  For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch …read more

So, there’s this guy who’s drinking with pumpkins at Halloween and they’re alcoholics…

And one pumpkin says to the other “I can drink you under the table, eh?”
[Picture source unknown - it came in an email]

And a few other boring characters…
From Mel’s article “Open-Meeting Bores”
The challenge? AA … “is greatly imperiled by the great blanket of boredom that stifles many meetings from coast to coast.”
Mel’s research and conclusion: “Having arrived at the conclusion that boring meetings and groups were caused by boring members, I began to look for some means of identifying just who these members really were. Surprisingly, they were the same fellows I have seen in my own bathroom shaving mirror from time to time.”
The first in Mel’s cast of boring characters;

The “lust” of my life sent me this email and I thought I’d share it with you. It sounds sooo typical of us…
Dear friends,

I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking….
Scared the sh** out of me.
So that’s it!
After today, no more reading.

And the only thing it has to do with AA is that an AA friend sent it to me…
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left side and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the …read more

A good friend (who sometimes visits here – ah hem) forwarded this to me today (sounds familiar);
The Cuckoo Clock
“Shortly after I got married, I was invited out for a “night out with the boys.” I told the wife that I would be home by midnight… I Promise!
Well, the yarns were being spun and the grog was going down easy, and at around 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I went home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realized she’d probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was …read more