I’m not about encouraging individuality to the degree that I will baby talk my kids when they are 14 and 15-years-old.

In fact, I don’t think I baby talked my kids after they crossed over into toddlerhood. 

I always felt that I would be of better service to them if I spoke to them with respect.

Just moments ago, I was held as captive audience to such a display.  A grandmother mollycoddling her grandchild and acting as though they were completely helpless to do some things for their self.

“Oh well Junior is SO good at painting, he painted the side of my barn with a bright red and it turned out beautifully.”

“Oh Junior, let me help you lift that feather, you really shouldn’t be lifting such things yourself.”

I wanted to SCREAM!

This is a common occurrence around my neighborhood – in fact, they are constantly buying the kid things he wants and in turn I have to explain to my kids why I can’t and won’t spend on them the same way.

I’d much rather provide my kids with the priceless gift of respect and genuine conversation than to have them feel they must have grandma help them with every single thing.

I can only hope that if the kid grows up to be needy and dependent that the grandmother is still around to support him.

So tell me, is that something that rubs you the wrong way or am I just being a little too picky and pissy about those types of things?

Post from: Blisstree

When should grandparents stop treating kids like ‘babies’?

I let my kids believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. They take such joy in the anticipation of their arrival. I almost feel like I’d be robbing them of some of the magic of childhood, if I let them know the truth. I see nothing wrong with it. My sister disagrees. She takes a no lies approach to raising her kids. They are not allowed to believe in such things. She thinks that it is nonsense. We respect the difference in our parenting choices, as there are many, but I will never understand how it hurts a child to believe in such cultural icons.

I also have to spare the feelings of others, by withholding the truth from them. Call them white lies, fibs, half truths…I call it keeping on good terms and sparing feelings, when need be. I have some very sensitive family members. Sometimes, the answers that they seek are not really the ones that they want to hear. Sometimes, people want to have my kids over to stay with them and I don’t feel at ease about it. If I told such a person the truth about it, they would be highly offended and probably not talk to me for awhile. Trust me, it has happened.  I am left to decide whether to be honest and ruin our relationship, or do something that I’m not fond of and lie.

It seems in this society, people don’t want to hear the truth. They want to be stroked and deceived, in order to make them feel better. It is what our government does. It is what we do, admittedly or not. Are we teaching our children to be liars, in practicing deceitfulness? Are we merely sheltering them from the harsh reality that they are bound to face soon enough, so that innocence can be prolonged? Am I wrong to speak half truths to those I love, in exchange for salvaging our relationship? Should I tell them the cold, hard truth, even if it means we never talk again? How bad of a person am I for being a liar, when I expect my kids to tell the truth? 

Post from: Blisstree

Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

As you can see, swimming at uncle Mike’s is just as fun as a day at the beach… and we don’t end up with sand in our bathing suits! Here is my recipe for burgers so tasty, they have caused many a fight over who gets the first one!

Kadi’s Cowpoke Burgers

ground beef

crumbled bacon

shredded cheddar cheese

buns

slices of beefsteak tomato

 arugula

 red bell pepper

  pearl onions

ranch dressing and BBQ sauce

1. Combine ground beef (or turkey) with bacon and shredded cheese.

2. Form patties big as a man’s hand and 1/2 in thick.

3. Grill 15 minutes over medium heat, or until cooked to your liking.

4. Brush the insides of buns with ranch dressing.

5. Grill buns 2 minutes.

6. While patties cook, saute red pepper and onion in olive oil, until tender.

7. Place patties, tomatoes, arugula and pepper mix on buns.

8. Top with BBQ sauce.

9. Enjoy!

Post from: Blisstree

The Best Things In Life Are Free And Barbecued!

Post from: Blisstree

Keep Your Germs To Yourself

While growing up, I remember a couple of aunts, one on each side of my family, who literally spoiled family holidays with their endless bragging.  In fact, it made it near impossible to be around their children without that feeling of wanting to puke settling in.

Those cousins were in every sport, every activity and every lesson available within a 25 mile radius.

I never knew the feeling of jealousy for all they were involved in, what I did know was a sense of pity for them.  They seemed so wrapped up in leading a life their parents wanted that they never realized what they wanted themselves.  To this day, one lives with their parents and has never known a successful, rewarding, long term relationship.

I reckon it’s the fact that I watched those relatives push their kids so hard, that I’ve never wanted to push my own.  I encourage my kids to sign up for one sport per season and take the summer off and enjoy participating in 4-H with low key projects.

My kids may not be honor roll students and to be honest, I’ve never wanted to feel pressured to put a bumper sticker on my car that heralds that fact.  I wish I had a bumper sticker that said “Proud Parent of an Average Student” – I’d sport that with great pride!

I don’t care if my kid speaks different languages, I don’t care of my kid hates vegetables and fights me every meal to get out of eating them – I could care less if my kid can play a musical instrument or be intelligent enough to make catalyst math or science – and what’s even more, I really don’t care to hear every single holiday that a relative has a three-year-old that’s fluent in French.

My son knows the meaning of every word in the Redneck Dictionary and quite honestly, that’s enough to make this mama proud.

I’d like to credit this mama rant to Competitive Parenting

Image source: Stock.xchng

Post from: Blisstree

Pushing your kids for bragging rights

This show really disturbed me.  In fact, this is the second time I’ve written about it and probably won’t be the last.  It just seems so wrong on so many levels.

While I try to teach my children that the truth is always the best policy, I believe I’ve done a good job in teaching them when it’s best to opt for telling a little white lie and when to tell the absolute truth.

There have been times when I’ve seen my boys shovel down food that’s been prepared for us and pay compliments afterward only to find out they were doing their best not to make horrible faces in the process.

There have been times when my kids have received a Christmas gift that they may already have, they kindly thank the person, point out all the wonderful things about the gift and never tell the truth out of respect and special care to not hurt someone’s feelings.

This brings me to my question — do you think it’s ok to teach your children to tell little white lies to spare someone’s feelings or do you think kids should be taught to tell the truth regardless of how painful the truth might be?

Personally, I’d rather not hurt anyone’s feelings – ever!

Post from: Blisstree

Little White Lies or Absolute Truth?

One of the goals I set for myself for this new year was to learn the best way of showing the toxic people in my life the nearest exit out of my life.

I’ve never been a very bold person – unless of course it came to my kids, then I’m pretty sure I could take on the entire Dallas Cowboys defensive line in order to protect my youngin’s.

Over the holidays, I was given a couple of gift certificates to Amazon. Today I broke down and used them in hopes of ordering the Holy Grail to harmonious relationships in and around my life.

First on my list is Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable

I would tell you the other books I’ve ordered but I’m afraid that might be just a bit too much like finger pointing.

As I anxiously wait on my latest purchases to arrive, I thought it might be fun to hear what some of you have to say about the toxic people in your life and how you have handled them. If you’ve handle them.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Tags: toxic people, toxic relationships, family, friends, coworkers, relatives

Post from: Blisstree

Toxic People – Allow me to show you the exit

Now here’s a topic that’s as clear as mud!

Like a large portion of families in the U.S., mine is blended. Between my husband and me, we have four kids. His two and my two.

To be perfectly honest, as much as I love and adore my husband, I have to admit that IF I could go back and do it over again, I’d probably just work on developing a relationship with him until the kids were out of school rather than trying to blend our families.

It seems there’s a constant tug-of-war going on between grandparents, parents, kids, extended families and friends. Talk about chaos, you’ve seen nothing until you attempt a blended family.

My kids are relatively strong and since we’re a family that talks about everything, even to the point of making mom really uncomfortable, I have to wonder how many families are suffering in silence from the pressures of trying to blend two families?

What are some extra measures parents can take to make the blended process easier?

What about grandparents and extended families when it comes to showing preferences, even to the point of hurting at least one childs feelings?

Tags: blended families, step family, step mom, step dad, step kids, grandparents, parenting, second marriage, divorce

Post from: Blisstree

Do you think stepfamilies are problematic for kids?

How many of you have that ONE or even TWO relatives who are the biggest and most annoying braggers on the planet?

You know, the one’s that have a three-year-old that wouldn’t touch a sweet if his life depended on it (yeah right!) – or the same child might be finishing some uncovered, incomplete work by Bach or Picasso?

I have a few of those relatives actually.  And honestly, nothing is more annoying, nor sends me into a tizzy worse.  I find myself wanting to stuff the kids full of chocolate cake, pumpkin pie and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew, just because I KNOW the kid is wants me to!

I’ve tried to deal with these types of people with humor as best I can by joking about keeping their wrapping paper or dirty napkin to sell on ebay in 2027 or so – but they just don’t get those hints.

Do you have relatives like that?  How do you deal with them?

I know, we only have to stomach it once, maybe twice a year, but seriously, I want to enjoy my dinner and not want to vomit shortly thereafter because someone won’t shut the hell up about their little Einstein.

Post from: Blisstree

Tis’ the season…