Eubank’s ex-wife, Karron, gave her blessing to the adoption and still lives with their daughter, Emily, 14, and son, Joe, 11.

Hutton met Eubank in a hotel lobby in Paris where they became good friends. He then flew the boys to Las Vegas for a summer holiday. The boys loved their time there and after flying home decided, with Eubank, to return.

Karron sees the adoption as only a piece of paper to allow them to get their schooling.

“They are there to go to school, get their trade and come home. They are doing exceedingly well and a damn sight better than they would in England. We look at it as a piece of paperwork to sustain what my boys want to do, and that’s it.

I don’t usually provide commentary but I think the media needs to let this one well enough alone (and sorry if I added the fuel to the fire by posting this). Sounds to me as if Irene has done a lot more good than harm in this situation. The boys obviously need a good home and she had provided one.

The family obviously knew that the boys NEEDED to get out of their current situation and into a better home and she was able to provide for them in the US. But, the only way to do it is if she legally adopted them with their parents’ consent.

So, did their parents really relinquish them or are they doing something for the boys that needs to be done?

You decide...

Both sons appear to have thrived in their new home. Chris Junior has won a place at a business college and is following in his father’s footsteps as a promising boxer.

Sebastian hopes to become an American Football player. He reportedly wrote to the U.S. family judge handling the case, saying: ‘I love my Mum a lot and know it was hard for her to make the decision, but she knows Irene will not do us wrong.

‘If I was still living with my Mum I would be spending too much time on the streets with the wrong company and doing the wrong things.’

Karron Eubank said: ‘My former husband is without a home. He travels a great deal visiting his friends and acquaintances. He calls the children occasionally.’

Post from: Blisstree

Chris Eubank Relinquishes Children?

The attorney presents all documents, photos, and medical test results to the US Embassy.

·         The Embassy reviews the file and gives approval for the DNA testing, which is carried out by authorized medical personnel and analyzed by an approved laboratory in the US, under strict chain of custody procedures. 

·         The birth mother and child are escorted to the embassy-approved doctor where their identities are verified and saliva samples are collected for DNA analysis.  The child’s thumbprint is taken and put into the adoption case file.  To verify the child’s identity, US Embassy personnel compare this thumbprint to those taken when the birth was registered or when the birth mother signed custody of the child to the attorney. The birth mother’s identity is verified through her original cedula (photo identification card), a photocopy of which was entered in the adoption case file at the time the birth mother relinquished custody of the child to the attorney. The birth mother’s thumbprints are also taken. A polaroid photograph is taken of the birth mother holding the child on her lap and is attached to the DNA file. The birth mother and foster mother sign forms attesting to their identities, and the birth mother signs her consent for the DNA analysis.

·         The laboratory sends a copy of the DNA test results (with photos) directly to the US Embassy in Guatemala, and to the adoptive parents and adoption agency.

·         The US Embassy reviews the test results and all supporting documentation. If all documents are in order, the US Embassy/BCIS provides the attorney with the Consentimiento (consent form), which is required before the PGN will authorize the attorney to prepare the final adoption decree.

We are now waiting for the Family Court documents to be finalized (if you read last week’s post the Birth Mother attended family court last week). I can’t imagine how hard that was for her…seeing her child again, officially relinquishing him, telling her story to a social worker? She even took (perhaps) a picture with him to send to us…for him to have. My only hope is that she had someone with her to comfort her and to offer her peace. In my heart I hope that it was his birth father (so that he could at least see him, smell him, touch him) but I know that life is not always like that.

From Guatadopt:

The Family Court social worker reviews the dossier, interviews the birth mother, schedules appointments with the birth mother and foster family, and may visit the child in foster care or the orphanage. During the interview with the birth mother, the social worker explains that: (a) the adoption is irrevocable, (b) she will lose the patria potestas and guardianship of her child, and (c) she may never see the child after the adoption is final. The social worker asks the birth mother if anyone in her family can care for the child, and determines if the birth mother has voluntarily, freely, definitively, and irrevocably granted her express consent for her child to be adopted. The social worker writes a report that summarizes the facts of the case and attests to the birth mother’s reasons for deciding that she cannot parent the child. In most cases, the social worker recommends that the Family Court judge approve the adoption. The court reviews the social worker’s report and makes its rrecommendation. The birth mother appears before the notary and signs her second consent to place her child for adoption.

We know that The Bebe’s birth mother did attend family court, that she did sign her second consent to place him for adoption, and that the DNA is a 99.9 percent match. On our end, the news is good; the process is moving right along and we can’t wait to welcome him into our home.

On her end? I don’t know how that feels but this triad is bittersweet.

Post from: Blisstree

99.9 Percent, a DNA Match, and a Bittersweet Triad

Adoption, relinquishment, loss, abandonment, neglect, abuse, are full of grief.

Infertility and miscarriage are full of grief.

And no one type of grief can trump the other. 

I have read so many posts (and I’m not going to link them) and angry and hurtful comments this past week and I am ashamed at some of the words people have said to each other. The kinds of things that people will write because they can’t see the hurt in each other’s eyes or hear the anguish in their voices when they talk about relinquishing their child or having social services take him away, or they don’t know what it is like to never be able to conceive, or they have never experienced a miscarriage (or 6), or they have never been told their child has been “given” to someone else.

I have lived through the grief of infertility and it sucked. And I have seen and felt the grief of my own son. And that was even harder. He has still not come to terms with his own birth mother issues (and I certainly don’t expect him to at 4 years old) and we have learned that we can not talk about his Russia Mama (we can only talk fleetingly about Russia).

However, I can’t imagine what it would be like to make an adoption plan for a child and I don’t understand how other people can trivialize it or dwindle it down to the “see ya, have a good life” mentality that  the movie Juno seems to have done (note: still have not seen it…just going off of reviews). And I can’t even imagine AJ’s birth mother never thinking about him or The Bebe’s birth mother never thinking about him (who is with him this very day in Family Court). How could that EVER be possible?

The one thing about life is that no one person can ever outsmart grief no matter what the source because grief comes from the core of a person, from the very soul. And no matter how hard one tries to outsmart it and push it away it will fester and breed, and fight to get to the surface.

Post from: Blisstree

You Can’t Outsmart Grief

Adoption has become a very controversial topic lately not only because of posts like this but even in the general public when people like Madonna adopt children who have parents still in the picture (and not ready to relinquish).

My husband and I adopted because we are infertile. We hope we are not, as many people see adoptive parents these days, baby stealers. We are parents of a fabulous 4 year old but we don’t think that we deserved him any more than anyone else deserves a child. Our journey to him was just as unique, just as adventurous, and just as special as anyone else’s pregnancy or adoption.

Our infertility is not the result of STD’s, weight, smoking, an abortion, age, or anything else self inflicted or choice related. Our infertility is the result of poor genetics and inherited reproductive issues. We were 26 when we started trying to get pregnant and we were nervous. I had already had one surgery to help with scar tissue and we knew that there was a possibility that I would be unable to conceive. What we did not know was that my husband had fertility issues as well.

My OB knew of all of my female issues so he sent us to a specialist after 6 months (most OB’s won’t even talk to you without trying for a year). We did some more testing and then one round of ICSI. What we found out after that one unsuccessful round was that we had LESS than one percent chance of conceiving WITH medical assistance.

So, when people say things like But infertility is a medical problem – not a social issue – that needs to be resolved with medical treatments and with preventative education. It is NOT resolved by being the recipient of a child that a mother was pressured – because of no alternatives – to let go because they don’t agree with adoption practices it breaks my heart.

Should we have lived the rest of our lives childless because medicine couldn’t help us or should we have been able to adopt a child?

Our first son was in a Russian orphanage for two years before we adopted him. His biological mother and father never visited him. They never sent one letter or message to him. They never attempted to make contact with him and didn’t even show up for court the day of his relinquishment hearing.

Were his birth parents pressured to relinquish him? (We know that social services stepped in.) Did we steal him from them? (Is it stealing if there is no contact?) Did we use our infertility as an excuse to adopt? (No, it was our way to build our family.)

Every country has their own political woes, poverty, and social injustice. I, however, am not fine with women having babies for ffinancial gain or for adoption representatives selling babies to make a buck and if I thought our second son was in that position I would NOT be adopting him.

Adoption has become an open subject (as it should be) but it needs reform. Unfortunately, its not all about open adoption records but how birth mothers are perceived in the media, the adoptive parent/birth parent relationship, how international adoptions are processed, how agencies run their programs, and I could go on. But, that is all for later…

Clicking publish. Your turn to talk.

Post from: Blisstree

Adoption; Infertility, Baby Stealing, and the need for Reform