Recently, Date.com, Matchmaker.com, and Amor.com, teamed up to poll their members to see who would be willing to give marriage a second chance after a divorce.

Check out the results, when asked if they would remarry after a divorce:

Men

Yes 65.4%
No 23.1%
Only if adoption of children are involved 7.7%
Only if the couple is younger than 55 3.8%

Women

No 40.6%
Yes 28.1%
Only if the couple is younger than 55 18.8%
Only if adoption of children are involved 15.6%

There’s definitely a disparity between the sexes! One that, quite honestly, I didn’t see coming! What do you all think about these results?

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Men are More Likely to Remarry

And getting ready to stir up a little …umm…compost.

I read the following statement on BlogHer, by the way..you can read the whole shebang by following this link.

The assumption of two parents present and sharing a home. The model used to
be male breadwinner/female domestic servant. Now, women are ‘allowed’ to have economic independence but continue to bear the homemaking burden.

Admittedly, the article was not so much about marriage as it was about taxes, however I am tired of being required to apologize for being happily married to the same opposite sex partner.  I am tired of the assumption that the nuclear family no longer exists, that everyone has been divorced at least once, and that everyone is in a blended family.  Most of all I am tired of the traditional role of women beingbrowbeaten incessantly by women who really seem to have a bad case of penis envy.

So here, I will say it and you can throw all the crap at me you want..I will just dodge behind my big, bad husband because that is what those of us who are merely female domestic servants do.  And we like it.  ‘Cause it is FREAKING AWESOME to have someone to fight your battles for ya…Someone with a penis, and testosterone, and muscles.

I am all for knights in shining armor.  And I believe in Santa Claus too, in case you are interested.

First of all, hardly ANYONE I know has been divorced. All of my IRL friends are on their first marriages, and most of these people have been married for more than 20 years.  We have been married for 28.  My pastor and his wife have been HAPPILY married for over 45 years..and they still are all sweetie pie to each-other.

Of the people I do know IRL that are in blended situations, (and I can only think of maybe two? Marc? Can you think of any?  ) they are having issues in their marriage and families because they brought the issues from their first marriage into their second and they still don’t have the skills to deal with the problems.  The problem now is not only do they have problems but the my kids/your kids situation is adding strain and stress.

Does that mean that I look down my nose at divorced people? Nope, it happens, and it is hard and sad.  I am just trying to remind the powers that be that not every person in existence has been divorced.

We have a traditional family, with traditional roles.  Well, the roles sort of shifted when Marc got sick, but he is still head of the house and he will always be… because…(oh this is going to be fun!!!!! ) I am submitted to his role as husband in our family. I don’t feel down-trodden, taken advantage of or unappreciated..I just feel like the wife as opposed to being the husband.

Our kids are reasonably well adjusted.  Our oldest daughter has been married for over 7 years, and they are not without problems but are working on their problems, successfully.  None of our other children are married, all but one are too young, and Chris, who is 23, is busily serving in the Air Force overseas.  He has just not found anyone he wants for a wife.  He is not ready to commit and he knows it.

Now, that we have discovered that not everyone is divorced let’s look at the next little tidbit, shall we?  You know, the female domestic servant part.  Yeah.

I never felt, in 28 years, that I was a domestic servant.  I have always felt like I was an important part of a team.  Marc worked and made an income to the best of his ability and I kept the house a pleasant place to be to the best of mine.  We both raise the kids.

Is there something wrong with cleaning, organizing, or preparing meals for your family? Is it somehow a superior lifestyle to rush home from work and throw a meal from Boston Chicken on the table?  Or have sandwiches again because you are too tired to cook?  I am trying to imagine how I would feel more fulfilled in my role as a woman in doing that rather than leisurely starting a roast chicken in the afternoon, making some rolls to go with it, throwing a pie together and serving it with fresh baby lettuce from my garden.  I suppose that I am too brainwashed to see the benefit in the former example.

I have kids that people compliment in public for their behavior.  I have a 5 year old that not only can do chores but she can sit still through an entire church service.  Quietly.  Without drugs.

None of our kids have drug or alcohol problems, and considering Marc and my misspent youth THIS is  miracle for which I am grateful.

Maybe all of this lack of weirdness is just pure dumb luck.  It could be because I am God’s very favorite.  Or it could be because we maintained traditional roles and it paid off.  I don’t know.  I just know that we are your average 1950s sit-com family living in the 21st century.

So, being home never felt like slavery…I like my kids, I like my house, and I like having the freedom to pursue my interests.

Now, who is the slave?

I must say that if I am nothing more than a domestic servant then women who work are nothing more than wage slaves. No one makes my schedule for me, no one tells me what to do, and I can work when I want, or take a day off if I want.  Who is the servant?

Can women please stop putting other women in boxes? Can we just stop labeling ourselves and creating walls? Feminist? Not me.  Not now, not ever. I hate what the rabid feminism tag has done to families.

Will I sacrifice for my kids? You bet I will.  Will my husband lay down his life for me and the kids? He all ready has in so many ways.

Issues and questions of personal satisfaction are really very self involved, infantile, and immature. Until adults learn to look outward rather than inward their lives are going to be full of mistakes and sadness because they never learned that they were not the center of the universe.  Sadly their kids are going to struggle because kids do need to be the center of someone’s universe. Preferably the parents.

Personal satisfaction stems from a job well done.  It comes from choosing to be content.

I work hard at my marriage.  I am constantly seeking to improve my skills as a wife, as a mom, and even as a concubine (I love that word).   Calling me a domestic servant is akin to calling Mother Theresa a candy striper.  There is just so much more.

As far as being allowed to have economic independence?  My best friend went to work for the first time in many years.  She has been married for 32 years? Something like that.  She went back to work when her youngest son went into Jr. High I believe.

Anyway. She has all the economic independence that she wants, 40 plus hours a week. There are lots of things she used to enjoy that she can’t do anymore because of her economic independence.  I think she preferred being a domestic servant with more free time.

Woman should do what is in their heart to do.  What is right for them and their families.  Right now, Marc is unable to work much.   My writing has stopped being a little hobby and is now the main source of income.

I don’t want to think that I have shifted from being a domestic servant to a wage slave.  I prefer to think of it as Marc and I working together as a team,  moving toward the same goal.

Getting all the kids out of the house at once so we can make love on the kitchen counter.

Image:Marye Audet 

Post from: Blisstree

Standing Here with Wooden Spoon in My Hand