Of course, the side effect is that you crap your pants.

Come on Ladies. Is being a few pounds thinner worth crapping your pants?

If it’s worth that, then why is it not worth walking a mile or two?

Another study reports that women would rather take 10 years off their lives rather than gaining 50 pounds.

Well, if you gain 50 pounds you kind of DO take 10 years off your life, don’t you? And if you are willing to sacrifice 10 years of time, then why not give up 1 hour a day to yourself by exercising?

I’m just saying – hello, there is no magic pill. If there were, I believe Oprah would have found it and told us all about it. If there is one thing in life you can count on, it’s probably that.

Stop crapping your pants, stop taking pills and decide you’re worth the effort of a healthy diet and exercise.

You’ll not only be thinner, you’ll be happier and less depressed. That’s a fact you can count on.

Post from: Blisstree

Crap Your Pants or Be Fat?

At the coaching seminar I attended they had a handout about the development of 5 and 6 year old kids.

They have a sense of self-worth that is based on a concrete and positive version of reality.

Perceived success = Effort is Success!

I’m thinking everyone would do well to view themselves from a five-year-old lens.

Post from: Blisstree

Soccer Coach

Did everyone see Oprah yesterday? About the battered women and what staying in this type of situation does to their children?

I know this column will reach a battered woman, because according to the US Justice Department, 30 percent of women are beaten by a significant other at one time or another.

This is an issue very close to my heart as I was a battered girlfriend for two years, between 14 and 16-years-old, so I actually know why these women stay. I also know how much courage it took to leave.

In college, when a boyfriend started getting abusive I left quickly. But then he stalked me for months and finally the police were going to put him away for two years. I begged them not to. I knew the last thing I needed was for that man to plot my murder for two years. The state required him to leave the state immediately and not allow him to return for two years to avoid prison.

The key, of both yesterday’s Oprah and my personal experience, was said very clearly by the battered woman’s son who witnessed everything.

DO NOT STAY!

Many women stay because of their children. I can understand the thinking behind this. You don’t want your children to come from a broken home. You don’t want to put them through a divorce. You don’t want the stigma.

You are so confused that you think he will change. That if you do enough things right, he will stop his abusive behavior. You believe him when he says “You make me hit you, if you had cleaned the house like you were supposed to then I wouldn’t have to hit you.”

You believe him because you want to believe you can somehow make him stop by being exactly what he wants you to be. You believe him because this is logic you use on your kids and you are telling the truth, “If you cleaned your room yesterday you wouldn’t be grounded.” You want him to be telling the truth, but he’s not.

You believe, in your heart, that you deserve abuse because you are a terrible person. You are a whore, a slut, a horrible mother, a bad cook, a terrible housekeeper, stupid, idiotic, moronic. Whatever names he chooses to call you. The worst my ex-boyfriend would call me was “used-meat.” After all, who wants a girl who’s not a virgin anymore? You have been listening to his berating of your self for so long that you believe every word of it is true. That’s why you stay. You stay because you think no one else would want you and you’re not strong enough to stand on your own. This is emotional terrorism and every word he says is untrue.

To get out you need to repeat to yourself all the good and wonderful and true qualities about you over and over and over until you believe them enough to go. You need to quietly work your self-worth up through praise of yourself until you no longer believe his lies about you.

Battered women, I know it’s hard to feel that you are worth leaving him for. But, it’s not as hard to feel that your children are worth leaving for. And they are. I never regretted getting my self back and I did not miss that terrible relationship. You won’t either.

The last bit of advice is not to leave without an escape plan. I left without a plan twice. Frankly, it was scary. Both times the man stalked me, attacked me in public, stole my mail, called my job so many times I got fired, harassed my friends, broke into my house, etc.

This is the link to Oprah’s resources about how to make an escape plan. Great advice can be found on the National Domestic Violence Hotline as well.

You are strong enough to make it on your own.

You are good enough to find someone else.

You are smart enough to find your way out of this.

You are a wonderful person who deserves to be free of abuse.

Special note to conservative Christian women: There is a book circulating currently, I won’t mention the name or author as I don’t want to give it publicity. You know the book if you are in the type of church where Paul’s words in Corinthians are used to make you “submit to your husband.” For you, it will be twice as hard to leave because you won’t have the support of your church. The book tells you to stay and just pray that he will change. I believe this is unequivocally religiously and morally wrong. Jesus did not come to keep women oppressed. I know how hard it is to argue the religious point so I will recommend a book with a different perspective on what Paul said in Corinthians, Who Said Women Can’t Teach? It’s biblically researched, more so than that one book that tells you to submit to abuse. When you leave your abuser, you may have to decide that you are worth finding a more supportive church that doesn’t believe you deserve to get beaten.

Post from: Blisstree

Battered Woman, Do Not Stay