Topic: sex issues

Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Blisstree’s Guide to Sensation Play During Sex

Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Blisstreeâ��s Guide to Sensation Play During Sex

By Helen “Girly” Brown

They say there’s a thin boundary between pleasure and pain, which may be why activities that blend the two can often seem so exciting.

The ancient art of BDSM (Bondage, Discipline/Dominance, Sadism/Submission, Masochism) — also known as “Sensation Play” — includes spanking, tying up your partner, handcuffing, and using various “instruments of pleasure” to create pain and other feelings of varying degrees.

“People ask me if spanking is painful,” says Babeland sex educator Cristen Kennedy, who recently started teaching a class on BDSM at one of Babeland’s New York City locations. “Everyone processes pain differently. The goal is not to beat the crap out of someone.”
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Ménage à Trois Marriage: Me, My Husband, and Our Laptops

MÃ©nage Ã Trois Marriage: Me, My Husband, and Our Laptops

My husband is an excellent home cook, so we happily eat many quiet dinners in our house (chicken, white bean, and escarole soup; linguine with clams and a busy salad; lemongrass chicken and vegetables over rice; whitefish baked in tomatoes and olives; etc.). Just the two of us. Afterward, we may cozy up and watch a little TV together: 30 Rock, Alton Brown’s Good Eats on Food Network (my husband insists on this one; I tolerate it), Major League Baseball (in season), and pretty much anything on HGTV. I’m on the couch; he’s on the comfortable chair with his feet up on the ottoman. The cat lies somewhere in between. There’s no need for idle chit-chat. It’s a domestic scene that’s beyond peaceful and harmonious.

Oh, did I mention we’re both on our laptops the entire time? More »

Turns Out, Unfaithful Men Have Unique Personalities!

Check out this post about serial cheaters by Liz Ozaist on Lemondrop.

We’ve either dated them or had the unfortunate opportunity to meet them through friends who’ve made the mistake of marrying them. We’re talking about controlling, mega-ego men with Lothario tendencies. You know, good guys like “Mad Max” star Mel Gibson. Psychologist Dr. Abby Rosen and author of a new book, “Lasting Transformation,” knows them so well that she’s even given a name to their type: NCCDPD. It’s a mouthful — just like these men can be a handful — so we asked Rosen to dish on the curious disorder. More »

Society has this image of doctors as disembodied brains walking around without body parts, kind of like pastors or kindergarten teachers — you know they have body parts but you don’t really want to think about it. So they don’t know what to do with me when I talk about my own experience. Doctors are trained to be very clinical about it, but I’ve gone out of my way to not be that way, and people aren’t quite sure what to make of that. It makes people uncomfortable.

Society has this image of doctors as disembodied brains walking around without body parts, kind of like pastors or kindergarten teachers â�� you know they have body parts but you donâ��t really want to think about it. So they donâ��t know what to do with me when I talk about my own experience. Doctors are trained to be very clinical about it, but Iâ��ve gone out of my way to not be that way, and people arenâ��t quite sure what to make of that. It makes people uncomfortable.

– Gynecologist and author Lissa Rankin on her philosophy of talking openly about women’s sexual health (and society’s reaction to it), from our post: We Probe Lissa Rankin, Author of What’s Up Down There? on Vaginas, Sex, and Aging

Women: Do We Always Cut Our Hair Short as We Age?

On Monday, our friends over at Lemondrop published a post about how lots of women tend to chop off their locks as they age — into a bob or shorter. Reasons for this possible trend are numerous and even conflicting: Pure laziness, or on the flip side, not having enough time to devote to hair maintenance. Feeling less secure of one’s self, or conversely, more secure of one’s self. There’s the idea that keeping one’s hair long into middle age is some sort of rebellious act to be avoided. And then there’s the shocking suggestion that cutting off your hair means that you’re no longer interested in sex. Or maybe short hair is just more ladylike?

Here’s who comes to mind when I think of women with short hair: Jamie Lee Curtis, my mom, Angela Lansbury, Doris Day, Doris Roberts, Bonnie Franklin, Sharon Stone, Victoria Beckham, Samantha Brown of The Travel Channel, and lately, me. More »

Low Sex Drive Is All In Your Head, According to Science

When women aren’t interested in sex, it’s usually blamed on previous trauma or psychological issues, but researchers at Detroit’s Wayne University are saying that it’s the brain, not the mind that’s leading women to roll over and play “tired”. The researchers’ main argument is that women who have “hypoactive sexual desire disorder” (HSDD) actually have a different brain response to sex, making the problem physical, not mental. But skeptics say that the differing brain response could be due to a number of pre-existing conditions, including psychological and emotional issues.

Boyish men are having a tough time lately. First, it turns out that our ovaries hate them. The New York Times declared that manly, lumberjack men are hot, and, as Lemondrop put it, “chicken-chested man-boys” are not. But that doesn’t mean you have to start force-feeding your partner protein shakes to transform him from a Michael Cera to a Jon Hamm. To prove it, we’ve got five reasons why we still love our pansy partners. More »

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Texting the Night Away: Could You Have a ‘Cell Phone-Only’ Relationship?

A recent YourTango post discussed the results of a Daily Mail survey which revealed that 1 in 10 couples only communicate via text or email. Yes, you read that right. 10% of couples manage to sustain relationships without ever actually seeing each other or talking to each other on the phone. (Genius, right?) More »

What We're Reading:

Gallery: 10 Sexy Celebrity Men for Every Phase of Your Cycle

We love men of all shapes and sizes (woman are the more physically accepting of the two sexes, after all), but according to a recent study, our tastes vary with our menstrual cycles. According to a post on Lemondrop last week, we’re more likely to jones after the hunky, “lumberjack” type while we’re ovulating, even if we’re happily involved with or wedded to effeminate geeks. More »

They say timing is everything, and baking too soon is a relationship’s death knell: It’s intimate, but it’s also Oedipal – and far more difficult to interpret than texts, voicemails, and the timing of making out and sex. Partners frequently utter the controversial refrain, “It’s just sex,” but who ever said, “It’s just cake”? For better or worse, your cookies, pies, and tarts can usher in a slew of irreversible relationship dynamics.

They say timing is everything, and baking too soon is a relationshipâ��s death knell: Itâ��s intimate, but itâ��s also Oedipal â�� and far more difficult to interpret than texts, voicemails, and the timing of making out and sex. Partners frequently utter the controversial refrain, â��Itâ��s just sex,â�� but who ever said, â��Itâ��s just cakeâ��? For better or worse, your cookies, pies, and tarts can usher in a slew of irreversible relationship dynamics.

– Blisstree Deputy Editor Briana Rognlin on navigating the bittersweet aspects of romance, from her post Dating and Baking: Don’t Let Him Eat Your Cake Too Soon

If possible, encourage the Joneses to host their sex party inside during the waning twilight hours – a time, place, and light level most forgiving toward a little neighborly nudity. It’s just polite to put your best fanny forward. For these tawdry evening affairs, we recommend a simple cocktail dress accessorized with minimal jewelry. You don’t want someone to yank out an earlobe in the frenzy. Aside from his swim trunks, your husband should not go near elasticized pants for any reason. Never sacrifice dignity for efficiency.

If possible, encourage the Joneses to host their sex party inside during the waning twilight hours â�� a time, place, and light level most forgiving toward a little neighborly nudity. Itâ��s just polite to put your best fanny forward. For these tawdry evening affairs, we recommend a simple cocktail dress accessorized with minimal jewelry. You donâ��t want someone to yank out an earlobe in the frenzy. Aside from his swim trunks, your husband should not go near elasticized pants for any reason. Never sacrifice dignity for efficiency.

– Blisstree contributor Amber Matassa on how to dress for an evening of neighborly debauchery, from her post: What to Wear to a Sex Party

UTIs vs. VPLs: Could Fashion-Friendly Thongs Give You Infections Downstairs?

If you’ve ever had a urinary tract infection (UTI), you’ll do everything in your power to prevent them. But one doctor-recommended way to steer clear of infections downstairs is to skip the most fashion-friendly type of underthings: Thongs. Your v-string keeps visible panty lines (VPL) away, but some doctors say they can bring on UTIs. On the other hand, there’s not a lot of research supporting the connection between thongs and UTIs. So which is it? More »

Sister Wives? I’m Going to Citizen’s Arrest Your A**es

Here’s what I’ve learned about a big religious family that practices polygamy and gets their own reality TV show: They’re no different from any other sad, desperate, fame-starved, money-hungry family (Gosselin, Kardashian, Bonaduce, Osbourne, Hamlin/Rinna) that sells out what limited morals and principles they have in order to parade their banal lives on TV. Okay, there is one difference. The religious polygamists (in this case, the Browns of TLC’s Sister Wives) imply that their reasons for signing a reality TV contract involve family, love, togetherness, children, unity, yak yak yak, and how critical it is for them to show the world the beautiful truth about how they live in harmony in their “closed” polygamous society. Oh, and the cash from TLC doesn’t hurt, either.

Adult members of Sister Wives? Here’s why I’m coming to your giant house(s) to make a citizen’s arrest: Not because you’re polygamists. (You’re already under investigation for that.) My beef with you is that you have way too many damn kids. More »

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