Happily Ever After was a damn lie. No one rides off into the sunset. The days are not all rosy and loving and no one is spending hours every day lying in bed telling each other how wonderful the other is. It’s just not the reality of marriage.

The reality is this:

Half (50%) of Americans get divorced.

Statistically, it’s probably accurate to assume that ALL married people find marriage challenging and MOST married people are sometimes unhappy in their marriage and EVERY married person sometimes does something imperfect.

In fact, the state of marriage is in such trouble that the federal government is now trying to help people stay married by providing marriage education courses free of charge regardless of income. You know if anti-welfare George W. Bush is providing free social services to try to help people avoid divorce - marriage is having some serious problems.

 All the romantic movies and fairy tales and expectations were simply a load of crap. 

Marriage is this: very hard work.

If you consider staying miserably married a failure in itself, and I do, then way more than the majority of us are failing at it.

Jon & Kate’s marriage is a resounding success (statistically they’ve beaten the average divorce rate of multiples parents, which is two or three times higher than for parents of single children) and it’s a shame that anyone’s marriage would be so highly criticized. Holding on to our absurd fairy-tale ideals about what marriage should be like isn’t going to help anyone’s marriage.

Pretending that marriage is as easy as happily ever after never helps anyone’s children grow up to be good at the difficult job of being a spouse. It is better that their 8 children are exposed to the reality of the hard work, conflict and conflict-resolution that goes into a marriage, so they will have a clearer understanding of marriage before they do it expecting happily ever after.

What criticism of their marriage does is dismiss all the hard work and trial and error that a successful marriage, like Jon & Kate’s, involves.

You know what I think? I think if you’re critical of other people’s marriage – well, you’re probably critical of your own spouse. And criticism is a sure marriage killer.

Post from: Blisstree

J&K+8 = Marriage Reality

TLC, if you’re listening, here’s the episode I want to see:

I want to see the viewers who are critical of Kate’s mothering of twins and sextuplets be the nanny for a few days!

Wouldn’t that be good, wholesome, karmic fun?

You think it’s so easy? We’ll see how YOU do with every eye in America watching you babysit 8 kids under 7.

I want to see Kate behind that little monitor she was using to watch the nanny interview criticizing every breath, move, utterance and step.

Yeah, that would be really fun for me. That would get great ratings too, I’m sure.

Post from: Blisstree

Perfect Jon & Kate Episode

Truly, it’s one of the few shows on television without any inappropriate language or sexual connotation. And my kids like to watch it as much as I do.

They fight and love each other like you and Daddy, my 6-year-old daughter Ainsley remarked.

That’s right, we fight and love each other. Most married people do, marriage is hard, honey, I told her.

They got special treatment all the way through the Pittsburg Zoo with close up petting and feeding of animals and the zookeeper bonding with animal enthusiast Aiden. Little Alexis got to pet a real live algidator, just like her toy algidator.

Kate, most criticized mother in America, got neurotic about the safety of the children and took issue with where the Jon was sitting on the zoo tram.

Jon flipped out on Kate at the zoo for not disciplining her own children while she went to look in the penguin house (with at least half of them).

Kate slapped him on the leg – twice. He joked about reporting her for abuse.

The toddlers fought, slapped, hit and pushed and cried loudly, dramatically and hysterically. Even sweet Hannah, while comforting a sick Joel, attacked her sister for getting into her nurturing territory.

Jon insisted “his public” knows he’s the one who gets up with the twins at 6:30 in the morning – yes, Jon we’ve established you’re a great father.

Kate threw a dirty diaper at a producer!

Kate explained the time-outs and admitted they spend quite a bit of time in it. Can you imagine the public outrage if they were spankers?

Kate established, we don’t sleep with the boys anymore, and we won’t until your married.

They agreed two of the children, Collin and Alexis, don’t really get along because one is a control freak while the other is a wild-woman. You can’t control the wild woman.

Maddy, like a typical 6 year old, tried getting more attention than the toddlers by demanding she hand out the cards they made for Daddy. Kate admitted she was quite controlling with the younger kids, unlike anyone else she knowsshe said faciciously.

Kate explained the modern-day stay-at-home mom’s reality times 8, Everyday is painfully the same, yet vastly different.

Yep, arm-chair psychologist diagnosis: Perfectly flawed, perfectly normal and perfectly great way to spend the evening snuggled up with my kids on the couch.

I hope they win an Emmy!

Post from: Blisstree

J & K + 8 = Emmy winners?

I saw this documentary about the Dionne Quintuplets and thought there were some relevant similarities between them and one of Discovery’s reality shows, Jon & Kate plus 8.

According to The Free Dictionary:

The Dionne Sisters were born in 1934, and were the first quintuplets ever to survive their infancy. The odds were one in 57 million.

Two days after Annette Lillianne Marie, Cécile Marie Emilda, Emilie Marie Jeanne, Marie Reina Alma Dionne, and Yvonne Edouilda Marie were born in a Canadian village their father, Oliva, was approached by fair exhibitors.

Reluctantly, after speaking to his wife, Elzire, he signed a contract. Already the parents of five children, he made a deal with the Century of Progress Exposition, a World’s Fair being held in Chicago, to use the money to feed and clothe his family.

Public outcry over this apparent exploitation of Oliva and Elzire’s newborns led swiftly to widespead condemnation of the parents, particularly Oliva. Soon, the Ontario government interfered. The custody of the five babies was withdrawn from their parents by the Ontario government, originally for a guardianship of two years. Ironically, although the children were removed from their parents’ legal custody to protect them from exploitation and to ensure their survival into healthy toddlers, the government quickly realized the massive interest in Cecile, Annette, Marie, Yvonne, and Emilie, and proceeded to exploit them for financial gain. The girls were made the wards of the provincial crown until they reached the age of 18.

Across the road from their birthplace, the Dafoe Hospital and Nursery was built for only the five girls and their caregivers to live in. The observation gallery, where thousands of people watched from meshed screens as the children played twice a day, became part of “Quintland,” a theme-park like atmosphere showcasing and selling Quintuplet merchandise.

Approximately 6,000 people per day visited the observation gallery to view the Dionne sisters. Close to three million people walked through the gallery between 1936 and 1943^[2]. In 1934, the quintuplets brought in about $1 million, and they attracted in total about $51 million of tourist revenue to Ontario. Quintland became Ontario’s biggest tourist attraction of the era, at the time surpassing Niagara Falls.

It’s so much easier to indulge our voyeuristic impulses by watching Jon & Kate plus 8 from our own living rooms, don’t you think? 

Thanks TLC.

Post from: Blisstree

Dionne Quints & J&K+8

Tracee,
While everyone is entitled to an opinion, I must make the statement that I strongly disagree with yours. The reason? Well, you don’t have all of the background information and insights to Jon and Kate Gosselin’s family life and what they endured to parent and foster children of their own.
You may ask, “How does she have the right to inform me of their circumstances?”. Well, you see, I am a close friend of the Gosselins’ (if you don’t think this is legitimate, you can watch ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8′ and you will see me periodically). I frequently care for all eight of their beautiful children when they are unable to due to appointments, conflicts, or when they just need a weekend away (which we are all entitled to at some point, of course). Like you mentioned, Jon and Kate never asked for or anticipated six babies to be born to them at the same time. Both of them willingly admit to “freaking out” when they saw the six tiny embryos on the sonogram screen. Like I said, you have mentioned all of this information, with good reason. However, you simply have not analyzed the situation to its full and most meaningful extent. Why do you think Jon and Kate decided to keep all six of their sextuplets, rather than using “selective reduction” to limit chances of health complications, budget issues, or just plain insanity? They kept the babies because they knew that those tiny gray spots on the screen would soon grow into Aaden, Alexis, Hannah, Collin, Joel, and Leah. When questioning their readiness to have six children, you are correct in your assumption that no one, under any circumstance, is ready to take on six small children, in addition to two four year olds (as Cara and Mady were when the babies were born). I have watched this family grow and flourish and I know, without a doubt in my mind, that Kate would jump at the chance to talk to women and mothers like you who look at her life as a situation from Hell. No one, unless in Kate’s shoes, has the right to judge or criticize the life of her family. Every human being, from the moment a challenging occurrence comes into play, makes a choice as to how they will view this circumstance. Obviously, Kate Gosselin made the choice to view her circumstance as a blessing. She had adequate grace and poise to recognize the rewards that would come of this large challenge set before her. Kate is one of the most admirable and amazing women I have ever known. I respect your thoughts, opinions, and regard for Kate and her family, but request that you ponder the situation more thoroughly next time before putting these comments down on paper (or your blog) where the whole world can read them and make judgements about you, which is what every person does when stumbling onto any blogger’s site. The comments I have made are for no individuals benefit besides your own. I am advising you to “think before you speak” regarding controversial subjects such as this one. Granted, if your opinion, after sleeping on it, remains the same as you have written? Then so be it. But be aware of grateful and faithful mothers like Kate that would “never trade it for the world” (as she and Jon say all the time). Don’t you think that, if they were miserable like you have imagined any mother of multiples to be, they would want another lifestyle? As I said, you are legitimate and accurate in every sense of the word when discussing Jon and Kate’s reactions to the news of sextuplets. However, you lack a sincere attitude of maturity and thought when analyzing their family.
It disappoints me that so many individuals view Kate’s position as one from Hell. I guess I’m the stupid one for having thought more of our society and the mothers in this country.
Regards,
Beth
P.S. Tracee, if you desire an explanation of why and how I stumbled upon your blog, please email me and I would love to enlighten you.

Beth –

I’m 100% Pro-Kate Gosselin. Period. She’s a modern-day hero. I even nominated her for mother of the year on my other blog in my article Roloffs & Gosselins.

That I wouldn’t want to trade places with her only speaks to the fact that I could never in a million years pull off what she does. In fact, I imagine I would find myself screaming unbathed or huddled in the fetal position on any given day had I been blessed with sextuplets, or even twins. Which, I’m sure is why God did not give me that blessing.

You mistake criticism for my own self as criticism of Kate.

By the way, I was astonished at the profound love you showed the Gosselins when you did babysit all those kids at once. I thought you were probably the most true friend anyone might ever have.

Tracee,
Thank you for your response. I know (and have seen) how much Kate appreciates and cherishes support from fellow mothers. As I’m sure you have seen on the show, it takes an amazing woman for a job like hers. And, like you said, Kate was best equipped for it. Not with money, time, space, or convenience, of course–but with faith, patience, kindness, strength, gratefulness, and devotion. And that’s what makes an incredible mother, right??!
I also wanted to thank you for your kind comments regarding my relationship with the Gosselins. Watching eight children for days on end may seem like a burden, but it is truly a blessing, pleasure, and privilege to be involved in the lives of the Gosselin kids. As you can imagine, being around six three year olds and two six year olds allows you to feel (and act!) much younger. Regardless of the work and planning involved, it never fails that my family and I have a total blast.
I hope you continue to watch the show as we all learn more about why Kate should win the Mother of the Year award (I’m totally with you on that one!). I am grateful for the many things I have learned and heard from the Gosselins, and know they have so much more to share.
Blessings,
Beth

I’ve got Jon and Kate, plus 8 programed on my DVR.  Kate’s makes me appreciate how great I’ve got it. I even cried when Kate got Dr. 90210 to give her a free tummy tuck to take care of what she called her “Jowls of the Dog” after a sextuplet pregnancy. Never has anyone deserved their own television show or free plastic surgery like Kate Gosselin.

Beth, I did try to email you about how you stumbled on my blog – but my email got returned. I am curious though.

Post from: Blisstree

Kate Gosselin, Time’s Person of the Year?

I I saw this woman who had sextuplets on Oprah last week. When they told her she was pregnant with an entire litter of babies she had the only rational and sane response I’ve ever heard of – she had a mini-nervous breakdown and had to be immediately hospitalized for shock. I imagine I might have the same response. I think having one baby at a time is a lot of stress and always prayed I would not have twins to double my stress. But, sextuplets. . . reminds me of that old ‘80s song by, who?, maybe REM, I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor and when I die, I expect to find him laughing.

May I recommend a new show on the Discovery Health Channel, Jon and Kate plus 8. This seemingly normal couple got married and seemed destined for an average life, then they had twins. Okay, still pretty normal existence now that the twins are weaned and out of diapers. Then Kate, and Jon will never let her forget it, wants one more baby – a sibling for their twin girls. Jon thinks, hey two is plenty, let’s just go about our normal life. Kate insists on one more. I bought one and got five free, she says on the show.

I love this type of television because it makes me feel so abundantly blessed to not be quite so abundantly blessed.

I mean, thank you God for not blessing me with twins and sextuplets!

If any family deserves their own television show it has to be this one. They have a dry sense of humor and really, that might be the only way they will survive. It’s a really good show about their day to day existence which is now anything but ordinary. Their grocery bill at Sams was over $1,000. Think about paying that bill next time your checking out. Could you even cover that and your mortgage?

It’s great family television to watch with your kids. I seriously giggle in sympathy every time I see this family. Then I quickly want to throw salt over my shoulder and knock on some wood to somehow prevent anything similar from happening to me.

God bless Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Post from: Blisstree

Jon and Kate plus 8