Topic: sexual fantasies

What Katie Roiphe (And Her Critics) Ignore: The Neuroscience Of Sexual Submission

What Katie Roiphe (And Her Critics) Ignore: The Neuroscience Of Sexual Submission

The wild success of the badly-written BDSM sexcapade Fifty Shades of Grey proves that what women really want is to be smacked around a bit more in bed—at least, so say certain members of the chattering class. This has (of course) prompted professional contrarian Katie Roiphe to shriek in glee over how mad all the feminists must be about this. Which has (of course) prompted all the feminists to roar in anger over how wrong Roiphe gets it, and how much they just adore rape play. It’s all fairly typical—of Roiphe, of bloggers, of how women’s sexuality gets covered, of our insipid online media cycle—and also fairly interesting, if you’re into this sort of thing. Which I am. Which is why I’d like to introduce something into the conversation that’s been largely ignored this time around: Science. Neuroscience, to be more specific—and how the brains of both men and women are wired for both sexual dominance and sexual submission. More »

Is It Okay To Imagine Someone Else During Sex? Dr. Laura Says It Is.

Is It Okay To Imagine Someone Else During Sex? Dr. Laura Says It Is.

If you ask women about their most erotic fantasies, sex expert Dr. Laura Schlessinger says most of us won’t fess up. Typical responses range from, “Oh, I don’t have them. That would be rude.” Or, “I can’t talk about them. They’re really sick.” And even, “What difference does it make? He would never do them.” More »

Imagining The Erotic: How To Talk To Your Partner About Sex Fantasies

Imagining The Erotic: How To Talk To Your Partner About Sex Fantasies

Writing at The Good Men Project, Clarisse Thorn attempts to deconstruct “<a href="Writing at The Good Men Project, Clarisse Thorn attempts to deconstruct “the myth of the sex-crazy nympho dream girl.” Thorn, a self-described “feminist, sex-positive, pro-BDSM” educator and sex-writer, laments how girls and women are taught to “perform” sexuality instead of, you know, just having a good time More »

Big Love, Little Satisfaction: Study Says Religion Makes Sex Less Fun

Big Love, Little Satisfaction: Study Says Religion Makes Sex Less Fun

Lady Gaga and Madonna might be doing their part to make Catholicism sexy, but according to a recent study at the University of Kansas, religion still puts a real a damper on sex. Apparently, the church does a pretty good job of making people feel guilty during and after sex, preventing them from feeling satisfied or discussing their sexual fantasies (which is hard enough without communal shame). The good news? You can still be saved: The study shows that people who switched to atheism after leading religious lives experienced growing satisfaction with sex. More »

You Can Have Hot Sex and Real Intimacy In Your Relationship

You Can Have Hot Sex and Real Intimacy In Your Relationship

Recently, psychotherapist, sexpert, and Blisstree friend Dr. Julie Elledge has talked to us about a slew of subjects relating to relationships including sexless marriages, open marriages, and sex addiction, not to mention other fun stuff like lying, cheating, and infidelity. Today I have some questions for her on sex and intimacy in a committed, long-term relationship including the deal with acting out sexual fantasies, and whether the term “meaningful sex” is always a part of marriage — and how maybe it really shouldn’t be. And because the weekend is almost upon us, I hope you’ll have the opportunity to personally experiment with some of Julie’s suggestions in the privacy of your own bedroom — and sexual fantasyland. More »

Rape is against the law (in most countries, anyway). Still, a fair number of film and TV characters really seem to ask for it a lot. (Or maybe it’s that most film and TV directors are men. Wait a minute…) Obviously, these disturbing scenes exist for a reason, but what? To provoke thought, to promote dialogue, to teach, to titillate? Are these alleged rape “fantasies” supposed to be the character’s, the director’s – or ours?

Rape is against the law (in most countries, anyway). Still, a fair number of film and TV characters really seem to ask for it a lot. (Or maybe it’s that most film and TV directors are men. Wait a minute…) Obviously, these disturbing scenes exist for a reason, but what? To provoke thought, to promote dialogue, to teach, to titillate? Are these alleged rape “fantasies” supposed to be the character’s, the director’s – or ours?

Blisstree Editor-in-Chief Christine Egan on the highly controversial subject of “rape fantasies” as portrayed in the media, from her post: When No Means Yes: Top 10 Rape Fantasy Scenes on Film and TV