Here are my top ten date ideas for Fall:

• Get tickets to a football game.  Find out what his favorite team is and surprise him with tickets!  You can cozy up under a lap blanket at the game.
• Visit the fall foliage.  Depending on where you live you might have to take a little trip to see the leaves change color, but I guarantee that it is worth it (I did it for the first time last year and it was amazing!)
• Take a cooking class.  It’s way too hot in the summer to even think about standing near an oven, but imagine how fun it would be to bake a delicious pie together!
• Pick your own pumpkins.  Take the hay ride and spend time wandering to find the perfect pumpkin.
• Go on a bike ride.  If you’re not too athletic then pick a flat course and stop often to chat and enjoy beautiful sights.
• Visit a historic site.  Do a little research to plan a trip out to that piece of history or local lore that you have always wanted to see.  Take the train so you can enjoy the sights alone the way.
• Stroll through an apple orchard.  You can pick your own apples and then enjoy the hot cider and donuts back at the lodge.  Wear your wellies!
• Participate in a beer tasting.  There are tons of delicious seasonal beers that come out in the Fall, so visit a local microbrewery and experiment with new types you’re never had before.
• Make your own soup or chili.  Pick a recipe that involves a day of simmering.  You can enjoy the delicious aromas while hanging out all day.
• Plan a movie marathon.  You won’t feel guilty about staying indoors and vegging out when it’s cold outside, so pick a stack of movies that you’ve both been meaning to see and spend a day hiding out.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Top 10 Date Ideas For Fall

Although the idea of roommates worked amazingly well in college and probably the first few years after college when you were still interested in constant companionship, I want to address the issue of an age where roommates are no longer the best option.  As we grow older and move away from our college years, we develop more into a unique and amazing adult.  It might seem a little daunting to have an apartment completely to yourself, but it could be an important key to your lifelong happiness and personal development.

Regardless of how long you have known your roommate or how much you enjoy their company, there comes a time in your life when you need to challenge yourself to establish a space that is completely your own.  You might have to downsize and sacrifice some of the luxuries that come with the apartment that you can afford with a roommate, but I see a great importance in adult development in living by yourself.

When you live by yourself, suddenly you are forced to understand your importance in the world without recognition from anyone else.  You will become strong and independent to know that you can be successful in life on your own.  It is a great challenge to live by yourself for the first time, but it is healthy and extremely strengthening.

If you are single and plan on getting married someday, embrace the opportunity that you have to live on your own.  You get to make all of the decisions, spend time by yourself, and create a space that is completely your own!

Image: Flickr Creative Commons

Post from: Blisstree

Are You Still Living With A Roommate?

While I shall still be very much a part of the Splendicity family – you can find me at EBeautyDaily, ShopaholicsDaily, and the hair channel over there – this shall be my last Blistree Relationships post.

The absolutely fabulous Kelli DesRochers will be taking my place, and she will have some fun contests coming up for you very soon – along, with, I’m sure, tons of fun relationship/sex chat!

I, however, will be sure to comment all the time with updates on my own (nonexistent) love life.

Speaking of my love life, I watched He’s Not That Into You last night…two times. (The beauties of In Demand cable!)  I realized, after the second watching, it actually ain’t all that depressing…it’s actually rather inspirational! I couldn’t help but identify with though.

And while i realize it’s six months too late to write a review of this movie, I’m writing something of  a revelation – a burst of clarity, if you will.

Basically, this is the first movie ever that I’ve seen that’s actually truly about love. As is it really is. And it’s also about dating – and the ugly truth behind it. Us women have to stop lying to ourselves. If a guy wants to call you, he will. If he likes you, he will make the effort. And if he doesn’t, that means he’s not interested.

And this seems SO obvious to me, now, after seeing the movie, and yet, simultaneously, I’m consulting my friend’s magic 8 ball for its views on if the guy who hasn’t called in two weeks is maybe possibly interested after all.

I most identified with Ginnifer Goodwin, who played a serial first-dater (by no fault of her own beyond delusional optimism.)  Gigi (Goodwin) has no defenses, gives too much, talks too much and spends a lot of time sitting by the phone.

That is me!!

And so, much like when I know that carbs are bad and yet eat a bagel, I know that I am crazy and a walking cliche, and yet…am doing nothing different. I’m inspired, but still hoping that I, too, will be the”exception”.  I wonder how any of you have responded to the movie?

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

He’s Not That Into You – In a New Light

And while I know fear of being alone is a lousy reason to be looking for a mate, it’s making me consider entirely new avenues..like speed dating.

If any of you are unfamiliar (and missed the Sex and the City episode devoted to it), you take turns with a room full of other singles telling the person across the table all the meaningful details about yourself, hoping that (if they are not too terribly strange) you might click enough to want to have a full date. You’ve got 3 minutes. Then a gong shrills, and your next date appears. Repeat. 40 times.

We are talking serious marathon dating.

In the SATC plot, Miranda didn’t do well at all. Many people don’t – and then you ask yourself, do you really want to put yourself through 40 bad dates in one evening? Isn’t ONE enough?

And so, while the whole one-stop shopping aspect is appealing – that’s a lot of practice dating with one outfit sacrificed – I wonder if it is a sign of desperation. Or if it can even work. What can you really learn about someone over 3 minutes? Or is 3 minutes all you TRULY need?

Has anyone ever tried it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Thoughts on Speed Dating?

Image by photographer padawan via Flickr

I’m thinking it’s time for me to take another break. Not that I’m not open to meeting new people or anything, but I think I’m going to stay off the online dating sites for a bit. I do have a lot of other things in my life I want to get a grip on before I try getting into anything serious, and since I’m far from the “serial dater” type – that leaves me with no other choice than to stop looking so hard.

I’d love to have some “we met at the grocery store” story to tell you guys in some time – we’ll see what happens!

Have you ever taken a conscious break from dating? Not looking, not trying, just living life and seeing what happens? Has anything ever happened from it?

Post from: Blisstree

Taking a step back, and taking a break.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the state of being single, about how it can sometimes be viewed as “less than,” and how that idea sucks. I have questioned if the time between visits with my guy is filler, if I’m “killing time” until he can swoop into town and make me “whole” again.

No, that’s not it – it can’t be it. What a waste of a good life that would be.

I stay busy, I take care of my kids and my home and my work. I take pictures and read books and write on my laptop. I chat with my neighbors and my friends. I feel the full range of emotions – happy, sad, mad, whatever – and he’s absent throughout it all. Except, in a way he’s always there, at the back of my mind and as much as I love him, it bugs me that I don’t forget about him more.

Yesterday, I rushed home from work so that I could spend an hour relaxing on a raft in the creek with my daughter, Bay, and her friend, Kimm. Both girls – lovely, smart, funny teens – are single. It struck me how content the girls were to float along, fine hanging out with me – the mom. I hate to admit this, but I’m going to do it anyway…when I was their age, most of the things that I did, they were done with a boy in mind. Hanging out with somebody’s mom on the creek, I would have felt that something was missing, I would have been floating there with one eye on the bridge, watching for a cute guy to ride by on his bike.

Now, adult me, I’m fine without the boy. I have to be, he’s hours and hours away. I see him rarely and I refuse to waste this good life of mine, but it took me a long time to get here. These girls, they are already “here.”

Bay, she drives me crazy sometimes with her attitude and the way she works so hard in an attempt to make the world revolve around her. I worry about the way she lives in the now and doesn’t worry about the future. Then, there are moments like the one at the creek and I see this self-confidence that I did not have at that age. She’s content to be on her own, she’s not sweating the boy stuff. It might not sound like much, but to me it’s huge. She doesn’t feel “less than” anything and neither am I.

Image credit: Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

Lesson Learned From My Daughter

It’s a given that growing up would lead to identity development. You will establish a set of principles that will serve as a foundation for all endeavours.

The belief system that you may apply to make things function normally, alone or not, is tailored to your own needs, your own life. You do learn how to relate to society as a whole. However, it will differ when time comes that it’ll be a one-on-one thing.

I’ve mentioned it before that human beings have this need for companionship. However real this need is, or the intensity, depends on the person with the need.

Personally, I’ve grown accustomed to a life as a single. My past relationships have somewhat left scars on my being, hence, affecting this particular area in my life. Though, learning to be independent, free from the reponsibility for another, is something I’ve grown attached to. The scars, like I said, pushed me to do everything in my power to overcome and survive the situation.

These thoughts still linger. I’m now caused to mull over the kind of changes you need to go through just to cope with the idea that you’re no longer just responsible for yourself — you need to learn how to accommodate this other person into your life.

There are fears, however. Questions that came alongside the change. How do I act? react? Will I lose my identity as a separate person? Am I giving too much too soon? Am I being selfish? What is fair? How do I find balance?

I reckon, trust plays a huge role in relationships. Also, knowing that there will be things happening in the relationship that you simply can’t control. You just have to deal with them as they come.

I guess you can’t work out a plan on your own. You have got to communicate with your partner and adjust to each of your needs. No one is asking that you give up your entire self for the relationship, right? If you feel obligated to change — seemingly one-sided — I think you have to take a step back and do re-consider.

Any thoughts on the matter?

Post from: Blisstree

In relationships, how much change can you handle?

October is Positive Attitude Month, and It’s Just Lunch, the premiere dating service for busy professionals with over 100 locations worldwide, has conducted a survey of 5,876 singles to gauge their attitude on life, love and happiness. The survey reveals that 65% of singles say they are generally happy people and 72% of singles are positive they will get married some day.

“A positive attitude is everything when it comes to dating,” said Alana Beyer, Vice President of It’s Just Lunch. “The top characteristics a single person looks for in someone they date are humor and kindness. Our survey also showed that singles believe rudeness and arrogance are the least attractive character traits. Positive Attitude Month is a perfect time to change your outlook and see if those changes impact your love life.”

•    91% of singles have kept a positive attitude in a relationship even when things were bothering them

•    23% of singles would tell a significant other one of their behaviors bothers them the first time it occurs; 44% would tell them the second time it happens
 

•    When it comes to having a positive attitude, 81% of singles say they want their significant other to be an 8 or a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10

•    25% of women say what bothers them most is a man who smothers them and tries to spend every second of the day with them, 38% of men say a woman who nags about everything bothers them the most

•    50% of women say Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey in Grey’s Anatomy is the TV character whose attitude most mirrors their own, 44% of men say their attitude mirrors Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer in 24

When it comes to dating and your friendships, just how important is attitude to you?

I think the above stats are fairly common sense, but I am only one person.

If were were asked to describe characteristics that bother you most in relationships, or what factor has destroyed most of your previous relationships, what would it be?

I’m especially drawn to that 25% of women claiming a smothering partner and 38% of the men pointed out nagging women – but where are the rest of those who were polled?  What’s the answer?  Surely there’s answers that are more common than in the 25th percentile.
 

Post from: Blisstree

Attitude is Everything; Celebrate Positive Attitude Month