Good ‘ole Tony AA from the East End (Suffolk Cty., NY) – in response to a newcomer’s question.

“When should I start working the steps?”

And Tony asked “Is the puke on your shoes dry yet?”

Because Tony believed, as I’ve learned to believe, that it is never too early to start working the steps. We don’t get better to do the steps, we do the steps to get better.

Though Bill W’s story talks of “His impact on me was sudden and profound” I believe that, in his own words, Bill also said “A lifetime of self-centeredness doesn’t go away overnight.” Besides, I was always going to stop drinking tomorrow. Yep! Uh huh!

NOW, unless you know another reality other than NOW, in the moment.

Thanks Tony…

A Sober, Clean Day To All,

Mark

Post from: Blisstree

Is The Puke On Your Shoes Dry Yet?

WHY GO TO MEETINGS

Shortly before his death in 1950, Dr. Bob was asked why he still went to meetings.

His three reasons should give every A.A. member pause to reflect deeply as they are the very essence of A.A. service. Dr. Bob said:

“The first reason is that this way is working so well, why should I take a chance on any other way.

The second reason is that I don’t want to deprive myself of the privilege of meeting, greeting and visiting with fellow alcoholics.

The third reason is the most important. I belong at that meeting for the sake of the new man or woman who might walk through that door. I am living proof that A.A. works as long as I work A.A., and I owe that to the new person to be there. I am the living example.”

[Thanks to Phil H at The Recovery Shed]

Post from: Blisstree

Why Go To Meetings?

I continue to subscribe to the principle the oldtimers taught me – that is that there is nothing you can share in an AA meeting that is truly wrong. Even if you are completely out of line, you, or someone else, will learn something from what you shared. If you are approached and chastised about what you shared that might have been inappropriate, in an inappropriate manner, please, by all means, say so, probably to your sponsor. If you receive feedback for a stated difficulty that you may be unsure of, ask your sponsor or refer to the Big Book. If you receive feedback that is a direct quote from the Big Book, go to your Big Book and read the page before and the page after the quote you were offered.

I was also told to share what I needed to share until the problem went away. That doesn’t mean to continue to share what you want in order to finally get the answer you really wanted because eventually you would. There’s always someone willing to co-sign BS. Share about what you’re unsure of, is causing you pain, is leading you to a drink, until the pain goes away, until the compulsion goes away, until you are “back on track” again.

Something like this;

On page 63 of the Big Book, where it says we were reborn, that is not a rationalization to say that all of a sudden we have power over alcohol! Those of you who think you have a choice over whether or not you’re going to drink, that have a defense against drinking that has anything to do with your mind, are so incredibly, sadly mistaken! Right at the top of page 63 it says;

“Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.”

He defends us! If we perform His work well!

Please! Don’t be a damn knucklehead and get so smart now that you’re sober for a while and figure that somehow you have any power over alcohol! Talk to those who’ve been there and done that!

The previous page explains it so well. That person who quoted it, to offer it as proof that he has the power of choice today, ought to re-read page 62. It says;

“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.”

Deciding that you have power of choice when it comes to drinking, that on a moments notice, you will have the wherewithal to withstand an assault from alcohol, is Fool’s Folly. You’re playing God and that is old behavior. The end results have been proven thousands of times over.

Post from: Blisstree

Share It Until It Goes Away

To begin the first meeting, we quoted from page 24 in the Big Book;

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.”

To begin the next meeting we quoted from page 43;

“The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.”

The first meeting brought a number of exclamations of having a choice when it came to drinking – from folks with double digit “sobriety” – which was the motivation for bringing up the topic at the following meeting.

It was obvious, to me, at the second meeting, that a number of people took offense to the suggestion that the Big Book offered the truth and it was contrary to their beliefs, as they drifted more and more toward an argument as the discussion wore on. That is to say, they became defensive of their stand and began to twist the discussion to discredit the opposite viewpoint as the argumentative viewpoint.

I believe that this is one example of the lack of effort to learn our Traditions. Why do I believe that? Now, this is only my perception of it please, but the First Tradition says;

“The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our society has. Our lives, the lives of all to come, depend squarely upon it. We stay whole, or A.A. dies. Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; our world arteries would no longer carry the life-giving grace of God; His gift to us would be spent aimlessly.”

It is still life or death and that is damn well serious! I have been given no reason to deny the experience of those who went before us so I won’t. At the same time I want to remember what I was taught – the absolute best place on the planet earth to “hear” the disease in action is in Alcoholics Anonymous! The audience is huge there! And this disease still wants us all dead…

I’d like to offer a prayer that we all pay very strict attention, for constant vigilance is the watchword, to those who would offer a “different” program of recovery to us and the newcomers than the one that is offered to us by the grace of a loving God in the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous. The words of those that offer us a man-made, will-power based, free-will based, defense against the first drink ought to be re-considered, as well as the example they are setting.

Post from: Blisstree

Interesting Concept – What Does It Mean?

If I ask for a lead on acceptance, the topic is acceptance, right?

If I ask for a lead on feeling left out, the topic is feeling left out, right?

And then, from my experience, the discussion will probably flow along the lines of solutions from the Twelve Steps that will help me/us get through these times, right?

Then why, oh why, oh freakin’ why, when a lead is given for the First Step, does everyone have to practice “Can you bottom this?” Or, more precisely, “become drunkalog infested contests of ‘can you bottom this?’

So – yo! Here’s the First Step – “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” If you have to adapt AA to the newcomer each and every time one shows up, at least keep the discussion on topic!

I’d like to say “Happy Anniversary” to my good friend Mike P. from Wading River, NY! 17 Years Sober! (Have you ever heard the phrase sober and crazy?)

He and I were told from the beginning that since we knew nothing about staying sober we needed to keep our big mouths shut, that we had two ears and one mouth for a good reason. Thank God for those oldtimers that we learned from!!!

Post from: Blisstree

What Was The Topic Again?

“He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it.”

The writer (I imagine, Bill W.) speaks of the double standard “that held me captive as an active alcoholic… filled with terror and confusion,”

“If I don’t get a drink I’m going to die,” which was competing with “If I continue drinking it’s going to kill me.”

Yet this became the “absolute essential” for recovery!

“Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism – with no reservations whatsoever – and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery.”

Pray for “them” to reach their bottom as softly as possible…

Post from: Blisstree

The Jumping Off Place

Of hospitalization Bill says: “The primary purpose of hospitalization is not to save our prospect the pain of getting sober; its real purpose is to place him in the state of greatest receptivity to our AA program.” He also says: “Often enough, hospitalization is the event that beautifully clears his path to acceptance of that all-important First Step: “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Bill follows this information up with a statement of life or death consequences and importance. He says:

“With each passing year we increasingly realize the immense importance of adequately presenting the program to every new prospect who is in the least inclined to listen. Many of us feel this to be our greatest obligation to him and our failure to do so our greatest dereliction. The difference between a good approach and a bad one can mean life or death to those who seek our help. We have seen excellent prospects who received nothing but our brief and casual notice continue their stumbling journey to the undertaker, while seemingly impossible cases who had received careful and considerate attention recovered on the spot or later came back and found their sobriety.”

Wow… do you know what this was helpful in leading to as an accepted practice in AA today?

[btw- since it is the beginning of a New Year, I'd be happy if you'd all take a look at the endorsements page so you don't think I'm off my rocker with some of the ads you'll see here...]

Post from: Blisstree

Presenting The Program

Among many things she says that I am able to relate to, one in particular stands out.

I almost died from trying harder!

Not knowing why as I grew from that child, every September seemed to offer new hope. It had something to do with the beginning of a new school year. A fresh start. A clean slate.

The first “semester/quarter” usually went well. Then it went downhill. For those who might relate, the holidays were always a time of disappointment. Raised hopes and then disappointment. Every year for as long as I could remember.

Some of the basics of that luggage still haunt my life even now.

But I knew that if I only tried harder eventually it would change! So I tried harder and harder. The harder I tried, with only small successes, it always seemed to get worse. What did I do? Yeah – tried harder still!

Vicious circle. A hamster on a treadmill… Can you identify?

Post from: Blisstree

She Almost Died From…

A man falls into a hole.
A priest walks by. The man says, “Hey can you help me?” The priest writes a prayer and tosses it into the hole.
A doctor walks by. The man says, “Hey can you help me?” The Dr. writes a prescription and throws it into the hole.
Another man walks by. The first man says, “Hey can you help me?” The other man jumps in.
First man says what the #$%%$ are you doing? Now we are both in a hole! The second man says “Yeah, but I’ve been here before and I know the way out.”

(Edited a bit for grammar…)

Post from: Blisstree

It’s “We” For A Reason

In today’s Savannah Morning News there is an article about the new head football coach at Savannah State Univ., Chet Lemon.

Mr. Lemon has a philosophy and a belief that he applies to football and life that I feel could be applied to recovery as well.

Here it is;

“Be positive. Work hard. And don’t candy-coat things. I believe in those things,” Lemon said. “I don’t believe kids want to be told things that sound pretty or make it look good. With football, you don’t have to candy-coat it. With football, that’s the way the game is. It’s brutally honest. You can either play or you can’t play. You’re either fast or you’re slow.

Football is a lot like life. The same principles in football apply in the business world. I’ll take a guy with effort over a guy with more ability because the effort will make more of a difference. Take a guy like (former Ohio State running back) Maurice Clarett. All the potential in the world, and now he’s got his mug shot all over the place. He’s likely headed to prison. And it’s an absolute travesty.”

Lemon has seen the pitfalls into which players can fall when they focus solely on football and fail to take care of their academic – and civic – responsibilities.

“I’m a strong believer in the fact that you can win and have good academics,” Lemon said. “A lot of people don’t buy into that, but I believe you don’t have to have bad people to win. It’s all about education, and the plan and the method you use.”

I imagine that it will never cease to amaze me how defensive many newcomers become (as I did) when they are told the truth. I’m thankful I didn’t take it to the level of insanity that some take it to, the out and out character assassination, the “I’ll yell louder than you,” the vicious attacks, even threats. I understand that behavior.

Today, I’m also happy that I understand this;

“Who cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.”

Warped minds? Been there, done that

Post from: Blisstree

Candy-Coated?