Gone are those days. It is no longer Mr. Right, rather Mr. Right Now. Do these teens realize that once the relationship has ended, often bitterly, the ex is going to use those photos however he/she sees fit? Do these teens have any self respect, at all? I would seriously have to stop myself from strangling my daughter/son if I found out that they were taking nude photos of themselves and sending them to people. I don’t care if it is the year 1810 or 3010, this is just wrong. It is yet another example of why parents need to make themselves more aware of what is going on in their child’s life. They need to start educating teens on self respect, dating protocol and the dangers of exploiting one’s self. Forget birth control and sex talks…how about starting with a “This is your body and it is a gift that needs to be treated with respect” talk?

What would you do if you found a nude photo of your child on his/her phone? How would you feel if you found that photo on the internet, instead of just their phone? The reality is, it is possible. The future is here and it is frightening, folks.

Post from: Blisstree

Whatever Happened To Clothed Courting?

Post from: Blisstree

Keep Your Germs To Yourself

 The following is an article that I had published over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. It is an important lesson for parents and children alike!

 “Mom, I don’t have any friends at school,” my four year old complained on the way to school one morning.

“Well, in order to make friends, you need to be willing to introduce yourself. Tell them your name and ask if they would like to play.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “But Mom, I’m too scared to do that.”

“I know it can be scary, honey, but it is the only way to make a new friend.”

Later that day, as I sat alone at the park watching my toddlers play with neighboring children, I realized that I was very lonely. We had just moved into the area, and I had not made one single friend. I had been terribly homesick and battling blues for a few months. Despite the encouragement I had been doling out to my kids to make friends in their new environment, I myself had not been practicing what I preached. The solution was clear, but not as easy as it seemed.

There were other moms at the park that day, but they were already buddied up with someone. I am an extrovert, by nature, but this was terrifying. How many moms have approached you with the request to be your friend? Wouldn’t you think them a little strange? I know I would. I had to come up with a plan, and fast. I looked and felt ridiculous twiddling my thumbs in the remotest part of the play area. I began to have a profound empathy for what my children were facing at their new schools.

Just then, a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Is that little boy yours?” It was another mom, inquiring about my three year old.

“Yes, he is.”

“He is such a sweetheart!”

We talked for quite awhile as we watched our kids play together. The fear of rejection and looking like a total idiot, quickly dissipated as I realized that they key to making friends is commonality. If you find a point of commonality, which for moms is obviously having children, then initiating conversation will be a piece of cake. You may find that the two of you have a ton in common, as the conversation progresses, and become friends. Or you may find that she is a person that you do not see eye to eye with. Either way, at least you didn’t spend your time watching the grass grow and feeling lonely.

I shared my new found philosophy with the kids, later that day, and it has helped them tremendously in their endeavors to make new pals. More so, it has helped to lessen my home sickness and depression. I am now able to spark up a nice chat with any mom who may be sharing the local park that day. I have even worked my way up to approaching an already formed duo of mommies, and inviting myself in to the topic of conversation. It gets easier every time I try. Chat rooms are great, and phone conversations are helpful when I need to hear an old friend’s voice, but the need for face to face interaction will never die. Now that I have learned to integrate that into my life again, I am a much happier person, and a better mom!

Post from: Blisstree

The Importance Of Making Friends

What would you do if your son wanted to wear a pink dress to school? Cookie magazine featured an article in its January issue, that illustrated one mom’s struggle to allow her son the freedom of wearing a dress to school. The mom, Sarah, decided that her son’s freedom of expression was far more important that the possibility of ridicule and reactions to his demonstrative protest of social norms. To her son, Sam, it was just a dress. I’m sure that he thought nothing of the symbolism behind his desire. But Sarah knew what her son may face as a result of her decision to let him be who he truly was.

To this I say, “Are you kidding me?” My sons always want to wear costumes to school. They have a box full of costumes and would wear them daily if I would oblige. But I know that doing so would be a disruption to the learning environment, and go against social norms. Maybe Sarah and her son will not have to deal with a large amount of ridicule and other possible reactions until later, but later will eventually arrive. If she lets her son express his love for pink frilly dresses as a routine now, it will be harder to curb later on. The comments and reactions of five year old peers are far less hurtful and violent, than those of junior high peers. What is going to happen when Sarah’s son, Sam, realizes that his behavior is not the norm and that tolerance for that type of thing is just not very common in our society? He is going to feel like a freak, that’s what.

My son went through a phase of wearing his sister’s red, patent leather shoes. Even though my husband wanted to yank them off of his feet and hide them, I explained that a three year old doesn’t understand that they are girl’s shoes. So we compromised. We only allowed him to wear the shoes in the house. I felt that doing so, allowed him to have his cake, but not eat it to the point where he could become obese. Does that make sense? What I’m saying is that there should be boundaries set on things of this nature. Yes, we live in society that frowns upon boys wearing dresses. Maybe that’s not very tolerant, but it is what it is. Parents who do not teach their kids about social norms, are setting their kids up for a lot of heart ache, in my opinion. Give Sam his pink dress, at home. Let him be free to wear it amongst his own family. But fostering his practice of wearing unusual attire in public, is just wrong. The fact that they had to coach Sam on what to say to peers and then role play possible scenarios, should have made them realize that they were creating more drama by feeding into the whole issue.

In our family, when a child expresses the desire to act out or dress up in a way that is publicly frowned upon, we quickly put the kibosh on it. My kids would love to pick their noses and run around the grocery store screaming like banshees, but I do not allow it. Why? They are not hurting anyone. They are not being destructive, or breaking any laws. But they are encroaching on other peoples’ comfort and breaking social norms. The same should be applied to the dress situation. Sam was not hurting anyone, but he was dressing in a way that goes against social norms. It may not be a big deal now, but it will be as he gets older. Let’s just hope that Sam eventually grows out of his dress wearing phase, just as my son grew out of his love for the red shoes.

Post from: Blisstree

Addressing The Dress Issue