The following is an article that I had published over at the Crazy Hip Blog Mamas. It is an important lesson for parents and children alike!

 “Mom, I don’t have any friends at school,” my four year old complained on the way to school one morning.

“Well, in order to make friends, you need to be willing to introduce yourself. Tell them your name and ask if they would like to play.”

Without hesitation, he replied, “But Mom, I’m too scared to do that.”

“I know it can be scary, honey, but it is the only way to make a new friend.”

Later that day, as I sat alone at the park watching my toddlers play with neighboring children, I realized that I was very lonely. We had just moved into the area, and I had not made one single friend. I had been terribly homesick and battling blues for a few months. Despite the encouragement I had been doling out to my kids to make friends in their new environment, I myself had not been practicing what I preached. The solution was clear, but not as easy as it seemed.

There were other moms at the park that day, but they were already buddied up with someone. I am an extrovert, by nature, but this was terrifying. How many moms have approached you with the request to be your friend? Wouldn’t you think them a little strange? I know I would. I had to come up with a plan, and fast. I looked and felt ridiculous twiddling my thumbs in the remotest part of the play area. I began to have a profound empathy for what my children were facing at their new schools.

Just then, a voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“Is that little boy yours?” It was another mom, inquiring about my three year old.

“Yes, he is.”

“He is such a sweetheart!”

We talked for quite awhile as we watched our kids play together. The fear of rejection and looking like a total idiot, quickly dissipated as I realized that they key to making friends is commonality. If you find a point of commonality, which for moms is obviously having children, then initiating conversation will be a piece of cake. You may find that the two of you have a ton in common, as the conversation progresses, and become friends. Or you may find that she is a person that you do not see eye to eye with. Either way, at least you didn’t spend your time watching the grass grow and feeling lonely.

I shared my new found philosophy with the kids, later that day, and it has helped them tremendously in their endeavors to make new pals. More so, it has helped to lessen my home sickness and depression. I am now able to spark up a nice chat with any mom who may be sharing the local park that day. I have even worked my way up to approaching an already formed duo of mommies, and inviting myself in to the topic of conversation. It gets easier every time I try. Chat rooms are great, and phone conversations are helpful when I need to hear an old friend’s voice, but the need for face to face interaction will never die. Now that I have learned to integrate that into my life again, I am a much happier person, and a better mom!

Post from: Blisstree

The Importance Of Making Friends

As much as I’ve tried to be one of those parents, I just can’t.

My husband swears I’m going to get arrested for intervening one of these days.  I’m of the belief that it really registers with kids, when a complete stranger points out just how obnoxious they are.

I’d like to explain the scenario and have you – random parents – tell me – Am I Wrong?

• Would you appreciate an occasional stranger speaking up or would you prefer everyone just ignore your kid and go on about their business?

My most recent intervention took place this last weekend.  My family was participating in a poultry show.  Kids were running everywhere while the parents hung out drinking hot chocolate in the warm break room.

A high school girl who obviously took both her showing and her schooling very serious took advantage of a little down time to get some homework done.  When she was summoned to tend to her birds, she set her books aside.  Obviously there were adults (my husband and I) close by, so she didn’t think anything of leaving her books for a few minutes.

Next there were three kids, between the ages of 6 to 14 that came near the heaters and proceeded to act like obnoxious little fools.  The oldest of the three was a boy who was holding his bird.  A small bantam, not much bigger then my own hand.  In the process of showing off, the boy started to run the isle ways acting as though he were throwing the bird like a football – never actually releasing the bird.  He stumbled a few times causing me to gasp thinking the poor bird must be so frightened.
Next, the youngest of the three tried to counter the show-off-ed-ness and picked up the unclaimed books that were laying close by.  One was obviously a school library book that the young girl decided to smash into bird droppings.  This action stirred a complete uproar of laughter between the three.

That’s when I just couldn’t take it any longer – I walked over to the three kids told them they were “acting like flaming brats and to give me the books and I’d return them to the rightful owner.”
Once I returned the books to the owner, I returned to my post and proceeded to keep a watchful (but evil looking) eye on the children until finally someone from the show admin came and forced the children to return to their parents.

Now, I had thought about letting the little monsters tear up the book and then taking the girl, the book and the brats to the parents so they could make restitution for the book – but knowing that most likely the parents would turn this on the teen girl – I decided to step in and take action to save the poor girl the trouble.

Do some parents realize what their children are capable of doing when they are out of sight?

Regardless, would you mind settling this little discussion my husband and I are having?