My sister’s family was in town this weekend. I love visiting with them and I really wish that we lived closer than 6 hours drive away from each other. We have a great time together and it’s fun to watch all the cousins playing together.

Robin, my sister, and her husband, Matt, have been married for 15 years. They dated and lived together for a few years before that, so basically they’ve been together for close to 20 years. In that time their relationship, like any relationship that lasts for a length of time, has had it’s ups and downs. They’ve been able to ride out the rough parts and I admire and respect that.

I believe that real love is when people stick it out and don’t give up when things get ugly. Before I started writing for Dating Dames, I read a number of back entries. One covered whether a person was “Involved” or “Committed.” So many times when things aren’t exactly the way I want them to be with S, I get stressed and question if we have a future. He doesn’t do this. Sometimes he gets overwhelmed and I don’t hear from him for a bit, but when he’s back, he’s back. I applied the two of us to the chart and I realized that I was involved and he was committed. It was a big eye opener.

I asked Matt and Robin if they had any words of advice for me to share with you readers. Matt said that patience was imperative. He said it with a look at Robin and she made a joke about needing space. I got the impression that they were teasing each other, but what they said, both patience and space are important in a healthy relationship. They are both generous with allowing each other to have time apart - Matt and his buddy enjoy the races and going to movies, while Robin and her girlfriends like to take day trips to nearby wineries.

They work together to make their marriage work and they patiently wait out the rough stuff because they trust that each partner is fully committed to their relationship.

Have you ever had a friend who disappeared for weeks on end after becoming involved in a new relationship?  Perhaps that person was you?

BellaOnline is an online magazine for women that focuses on a variety of topics including dating.  Imagine that!

While reading through the mirage of dating articles, I found one that I felt needed a bit more focus and hopefully discussion.

It’s great to be caught up in a new relationship, to feel the pleasures of falling in love, but when you become so absored in the relationship that you lose your entire being and self identity, it’s time to step back and create your own space in order to maintain your own individuality.

We all need our space, and this is really true once we become involved in a relationship. As an outsider looking in on other’s relationships it is easy to see when space is needed. For example, it’s easy to criticize your friend who disappears for weeks on end only to contact you if her boyfriend is on a business trip, or breaks up with her, etc. But why is it so hard to see ourselves behaving this way. There are some warning signs to look for when you are not giving yourself or your partner enough space.  More …

The article goes on to offer up the following signs that you may just need to create more space within the relationship:

• your friends stop calling
• you can’t remember the last time you spent your free time apart
• you have stopped doing a hobby that you once loved
• friends and family are complaining they never seen you anymore

What are some other signs or warnings that you may be overly consumed in a relationship and need to create a little breathing room to keep true to the person you once were?