I’ve been looking out the window all week to see if DHR was going to send someone to our house. I could argue that the incident was innocent enough, that my son was overreacting because he was in dire need of a nap.  I doubt that would hold up well in court. But it’s the truth.

Not my son, but the tantrum face is uncanny.

It all started last weekend at Lowe’s Home Improvement. The gorgeous weather lured us to walk through the garden shop – along with everyone else in the city – to consider all the things we should plant once we find the time to actually do something productive. We even picked out a few things, only to put them back after discovering it would take longer to stand in line to pay for our finds than it would to actually plant the flowers. The mere act of moving a blue flower from our buggy back to its spot in the garden center was enough to unglue my child. “But I want it!” he screamed. The screaming turned into wails and the flailing of arms. I leaned down to my son to quiet him because, after all, he was making quite a scene, when he suddenly reared back and swung an arm at me. I raised my hand and our hands connected, making a loud SLAP that startled us both. Rick quickly grabbed Truman and gave him a swat on the backside.

Honestly, it wasn’t so much a swat as it was a pat. A little tap on the rear to get his attention. We’re not opposed to spankings but they don’t really work on Truman. We usually take away a favorite toy and that gets us the best results. No kidding, but the few times we have spanked Truman he’s responded with a laugh.

Not this time. No, this time he began wailing and screaming, “You hurt me! Stop hurting me!” We were mortified. We looked at each other and sighed, picked up our sniffling son and headed to the car. As we walked past the long line of people waiting at the register, I heard one woman say loudly, “I was never spanked as a child. I just don’t see how people can do that!”

Give me a break. I looked at the woman, then at Rick, and rolled my eyes. She probably doesn’t have children or if she does, she probably doesn’t live in the real world.

The story should have ended there, with us heading on our merry way comforted in that none of the strangers there knew us. But it’s not that simple. Not when you’re married to the local television newsman who spends four hours a day on TV on the No. 1 morning news program in the state. There are just a few places in our relatively small town where he goes unnoticed. Lowe’s is not one of them. And now that morning newsman would get labeled as a public child-spanker. This, the man who loves his son so dearly that just talking about his little boy can move him to tears.

Luckily, DHR never came. The gossip never made it to the papers. And we have been able to walk into Lowe’s since without feeling disgraced. I have read from The Go-To Mom
that “disciplining children in public can humiliate, embarrass and anger your child even more. Plus with an audience, she knows how vulnerable you both are.”

If you were curious if that were true, then let our experience be your proof.

(photo, Flickr, hyperscholar)

JWJourney

Every person surely remembers the great story by P.D. Eastman, about the bird who hatches and goes in search of his mother. He encounters many inanimate objects in his quest, whom he poses the question, “Are You My Mother?” to. As I read the book to my little ones, this morning, it made me think of the role of a parent and discipline. Every mom has different ways of disciplining their children. Some are against spanking, some are not. Some find time out the only acceptable form of corrective action, some have many forms. Some parents are the only ones who discipline their kids and some think that it takes a village.

I’m interested to know what the general consensus is on discipline. I’ve included a few polls on all of my blogs, in search of answers to a few questions. Please take the time to answer each poll question honestly. You will remain anonymous, so there is no pressure to give anything other than a completely honest answer. Thank you for your participation, in advance.

One of the most controversial episodes of Supernanny is being revisted by Dr. Keith Ablow.

Remember the great spanking debate?

After appearing on ABC’s “Supernanny,” two families with out-of-control children and differing parenting techniques join Dr. Keith to share their experiences before and after Nanny Jo made a house call.

If you’ve ever wondered how long the influence of Supernanny stays after she leaves, this is a great show to catch.

Let me know what you think…

California:  The state Legislature is about to weigh in on a question that stirs impassioned debate among moms and dads: Should parents spank their children?Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, wants to outlaw spanking children up to 3 years old. If she succeeds, California would become the first state in the nation to explicitly ban parents from smacking their kids.

Making a swat on the behind a misdemeanor might seem a bit much for some — and the chances of the idea becoming law appear slim, at best — but Lieber begs to differ.  Via Mercury News

Dear gussy, half my family would probably end up in prison if this one passes.  Being just a few miles north of the Bible Belt where they believe firmly in “sparing the rod, spoils the child” LITERALLY - this one is likely to cause quite a stir.

Anyone care to share their take?

hat tip

Living as a Christian my entire life, I’ve always heard the scripture “spare the rod, spoil the child.”

I’m interested in learning what that means to our Super Nanny Rules readers.

So, what exactly does that scripture mean to you?  And how do you include that scripture in your everyday life, or do you?

Last nights episode of Supernanny focused on the Browersock family.  Thad and Jennifer, the parents of Maddy, age 7 - Hayden, age 6 and Lily age 4.

One thing I noticed while watching this episode was that my definition of spanking is obviously very different from the definition of others.

Read more

Spanking has come up a bit here recently, so I thought I’d throw this out as food for discussion. I’m not well versed in the history, but Dr. Spock was something of a parenting guru about 30 years ago. I seem to recall him falling our of favor in more recent times, but nevertheless what do you think of this quote:

If we are ever to turn toward a kindlier society and a safer world, a revulsion against the physical punishment of children would be a good place to start.

~ Dr. Benjamin Spock

What do you think?

In a recent comment, Helen asked about Supernanny’s stance toward spanking. While a previous Supernanny Rules poll was pretty evenly split, Supernanny’s stance is firm: Spanking is not necessary.

An article in the Lancaster Eagle-Gazette reports on the Lancaster (OH) Abuse Prevention Fund and how it are using Supernanny’s popularity to help educate parents and promote it’s no-spanking message. For more information visit their website at The Center for Effective Discipline.