I shook like a leaf the whole time and had to choke by tears when I admitted I feared my mother’s disapproval of my mothering. I spoke for nearly 10 minutes and relied almost exclusively on my notes.

But, I did it. I put myself out there.

I brought my dream board (though I basically hid it behind me and refused to allow anyone to get too close – which is a little better than behind the dresser where I keep usually keep it when people come over, so no one will know quite how ambitious I am).

I never want to do it again so I emailed the organizer and told her to put me on the schedule as often as possible and I’ll take all cancellations.

I’m going with immersion therapy in an attempt to conquer my fear.

Post from: Blisstree

Immersion Therapy – Fear

This is what stage fright looks like.

This is what it looks like when you have stage fright, but you do it anyway.

Even I can’t figure out why I have stage fright. It’s inexplicably bizarre. I am great in a crowd, I’m an engaging conversationalist in a group, I have something to say here every single day and I have no problem raising my hand or volunteering in a classroom setting.

What is my problem with preparing something and speaking in public?

I’m giving my first Toastmasters speech tonight. I’m blanking out and have nothing prepared, and I have butterflies in my stomach and feel like I have to pee constantly. I’m not getting enough breath.

I’m starting to think it’s the preparing that gives me the anxiety. I’m great at seat-of-my-pants, but preparing produces more anxiety.

Images: Empowering Girls: So Sioux Me

Post from: Blisstree

Stage Fright