Ordered my sandwich and soda and had a seat with him. It’s funny but I know he didn’t like me when we initially met but we’d grown on each other. We made small talk briefly then I asked him where he’d been going to meetings.

He isn’t. He went out again and now meetings are a source of mental irritation for him. Additionally, someone who he had hooked up with who has considerable time and was helping him had now turned on him, refusing to be his friend anymore. (Granted, one side of the story.)

The point is – do we now shun those who drink after becoming friends with another human being?

Since I’ve been gleaning from Mel B. lately, this is what Mel has to say on the subject;

ALMOST every drinking problem is also a human-relations problem. Some alcoholics, it’s true, have the gift of amiability. Drunk or sober, they have few enemies or strained relationships.

Most of us, however, don’t have it so good. Drunk or sober, we rub some people the wrong way. We also come into the orbit of people who antagonize us. What can we do about it? Does the AA program offer a workable way of dealing with these human-relations problems?

“The program contains an implied answer, even if it doesn’t supply one directly. The answer is: Handle any human-relations problem by creating the right attitude towards the people involved; take personal responsibility for seeing that the antagonism is cleared up, at least from your side of the fence. This method is essentially what is conveyed in AA’s Eighth and Ninth Steps, although sometimes we lose sight of our reasons for carrying out these suggestions.”

I believe ostracizing a fellow because they drank is truly arrogant. Not a “quality” I wish to have as much of anymore and exactly what could keep someone away from recovery, perhaps until they die. Wrong to the Nth degree!

Post from: Blisstree

Ostracized? I Don’t Think So!

Originally found at Silkworth.net where it is published without a clear attribution I can find;

Reason, Season, And A Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go..

Some people become friends and stay awhile…

leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts…

and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!!

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

When you read this, just recite the following prayer.
That’s all you have to do. There is nothing else attached.
This is the power of prayer at work.

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities
that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
Let His presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
dance, and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.

Send this to the people in your life
and witness…

The Awesome Power of Prayer

Post from: Blisstree

Reason, Season, And A Lifetime

Just a few sentences from today’s Daily Reflection – “Love With No Price Tag”

“Carrying the message is a gift of myself, no matter how many years of sobriety I may have accumulated.”

“My dreams can become reality.”

“My wish to help another drunk is the key to my spiritual health.”

“I never forget that Got acts through me. I am only His instrument.”

“To act, to never grow weary in my Twelfth Step work, is the key.”

“If I am capable of laughing today, let me not forget those days when I cried.”

Post from: Blisstree

Act With Humility

12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

1. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

2. Frequent attacks of smiling.

3. Feelings of being connected with others and nature.

4. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

5. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience

6. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. A loss of interest in conflict.

9. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

10. A loss of interest in judging others.

11. A loss of interest in judging self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.

Post from: Blisstree

12 Symptoms of a Spiritual Awakening

“Spirituality is a simple disciplined way of living. It seems there are four basic movements that recovering people need to make to put their lives on a positive spiritual basis. The first of these is a movement from fear to trust; the second, from self-pity to gratitude; the third, from resentment to acceptance; and the fourth, from dishonesty to honesty.

These positive movements occur in our perceptions of life as we learn to apply the Twelve Steps to our lives, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they will always materialize if we are willing to work for them.

It is our choice. We can drink or not drink, live or die, be happy or cry, be honest or lie. The choice is ours at all times. Whatever the choice, we must live with the consequences of our decisions. There is no other way to live life.”

Fear, self-pity, resentment, dishonesty. Thieves, all of them. Consequences. Freedom from alcohol.

I’ll take the freedom from alcohol and the movement away from the thieves. It’s a better life.

Post from: Blisstree

Spirituality: Simple, Disciplined – Four Basic Movements

I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

And ends;

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But – more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

‘I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

Please, read the entire piece here.

[Thanks John B.]

Post from: Blisstree

I Stand At The Door

Other than the disease talking to me, I discovered something about that state of mind a few years ago. It’s in the Big Book on pgs. 50-57.

I’ll refer to what still makes the most sense to me;

“When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t. What was our choice to be?”

At those times in my life that were (and still can be) the most difficult, those that feel like everything is unfair and I don’t deserve this, I have this tendency to feel like God has gotten farther away. Fortunately, an oldtimer taught me something about times like that – if God feels farther away, I need to check who moved. It’s always me.

“Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with the question of faith. We couldn’t duck the issue. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought lustre to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. Friendly hands stretched out in welcome. We were grateful Reason had brought us so far. But somehow, we couldn’t quite step onshore. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support.”

From here, the BB asks us to examine this a bit more. It turns out that believing my own reasoning was a form of faith. ??? Well, it says “Did we not have confidence in our ability to think? What was that but a sort of faith?”

Then it hits me square! It says “Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason.”

There is a great deal more on those pages but I’d like to move forward to the Great Reality.

“We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.”

The God of Reason only brought me so far… in order to go all the way, I had to let go of the God of Reason and develop a blind faith. Every once in a while I still make that mistake of asking about fairness, but I’ve come to believe that fairness isn’t what it’s all about. It’s about Reality. He is the Great Reality for me, and works a whole lot better than the way it used to be!

A Sober, Clean Day To All…

[Edited and brought into the now May 24th, 2008. I think it's worth the repetition]

Post from: Blisstree

The God of Reason

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and spiritually.”

First things first – “Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first… To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.”

In my drinking life I could not put these two together. Why? Simply because the concept of humility was totally lost on me. To be humble was not within my understanding. I was either less than, far worse, or far better because, if not, I was worthless. Absolutely convoluted…

“To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health.”

Funny, but at this moment as I write those words it comes to me that no one in all those religious instruction classes ever said anything about spiritual health.

“It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it.”

Do you recall, provided you had religious training in your childhood, being taught anything like this?

“My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others.”

Wow – help from others, what a concept!

Post from: Blisstree

Acting In Good Spiritual Health

“Daily Reflections“

First Things First – Dr. Bob speaks of practice and I imagine that this was passed down to the point when it eventually came to me because my sponsor pointed out to me the only way I’d become good at anything was to practice it. It most certainly applies to recovery as Dr. Bob says;

“And I don’t believe we do AA too well unless we practice it.”

He goes further to speak of practicing then acquiring the spirit of service which, in turn, leads to;

“We should attempt to acquire some faith, which isn’t easily done, especially for the person who has always been very materialistic, following the standards of society today.”

Which may have something to do with why I talk about being “societized.”

“But I think faith can be acquired; it can be acquired slowly; it has to be cultivated. That was not easy for me, and I assume that it is difficult for everyone else…”

To which the excerpt’s respondent says;

“Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity.”

Fear – the thief of all thieves… and, again, the Big Book has the answer (pg. 68);

“We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.”

Post from: Blisstree

Faith – Not Easy For Some? Many? Most?

“By following the Ten Commandments and Twelve Steps to the letter we automatically lead a spiritual life, whether or not we recognize it.

Here, however, is a set of suggestions, couched in the simplest of language:

1. Elimination of sin from our lives.
2. Develop humility.
3. Constantly pray to God for guidance.
4. Practice charity.
5. Meditate frequently on our newly found blessings, giving honest thanks for them.
6. Take God into our confidence in all our acts.
7. Seek the companionship of others who are seeking a spiritual life.
   

These are practical suggestions, mileposts on the road to a spiritual life. There is nothing mysterious about them,. Every one of the seven points is found elsewhere in AA literature, but here they are set down in a group for easier guidance.”

The Hindsfoot site has reproduced this from an early Akron AA pamphlet titled “Spiritual Milestones In Alcoholics Anonymous.” Here is the link again.

From page 10 in this pamphlet: “There can be no better safeguard to sobriety than faith and trust in God. It can be cultivated through prayer and observing the happiness of those who live a blameless life.”

Post from: Blisstree

A Simple Step By Step Spiritual Guide