In a recent interview Darren says that “work life balances” are one of the toughest things he’s faced as a stay at home dad. He makes an interesting point that a tendency to overwork is just a tempting as not to work at all in a work-at-home setting.

I’m tucking his suggestion away in the back of my mind about getting into a routine during the early days with a newborn.

Post from: Blisstree

Interview with Darren Rowse about being a SAHD

So why should you read it? Read on…

My husband, in fact, has brought up divorce for other reasons. I am not totally sure which ones, to be honest, but I think it is career related since I have a great career and his sort of stalled when he became a stay-at-home dad and then went to hell from there.

I know that there are a lot of stay-at-home dads. But while it may seem like there are a lot who are happy, I think it’s really just that every single one of the happy ones is blogging.

Read more…

Post from: Blisstree

The Myth of the Stay at Home Dad

1) Declutter As You Go. The first thing to help prevent the house from going from bad to worse is a simple procedure called “Declutter As You Go”. It is almost self explanatory. When you are on your way to the bathroom and you see 5 toys laying in the hall. Take note. On your way back from the bathroom pick those toys up and toss them in the toy box. It is that simple. Some people get overwhelmed and don’t do any form of cleaning until they can tell themselves it is time to pick up. They leave the toys there in the hall until they can bring themselves to clean. Some save this time for when the kids are down for a nap, or they wait until the end of the day. I think it is fine to set aside these times but I think it is also important to declutter as you go. It is amazing how much cleaner and less stressful it is to take an extra 10 seconds out of your day to pick up those toys in your travels and just toss them in the toy box.

2) Have a Home For Stuff. A major problem my wife and I faced for the longest time, and still do, is not having a home for everything. Whenever you bring new things into the home whether it be as big as a bookshelf or as small as a scratch pad for the kids to draw in, there really needs to be a home for it. The problem my wife and I ran into is that with 5 kids we have ultimately outgrown the house. It is still manageable but it makes finding a home for things a little more of a challenge.

Each drawer, cabinet, office space, corner of the house, toy box, shelf, and crook and cranny needs to be designated as a home for something. So when it is time to declutter and it is time to clean up there is actually a place to return these items to. You may want to declutter and clean but if you can’t find a home for things it makes this almost impossible and all you will be doing is moving your mess from one place to another. So sit down and determine where everything will go. If you can’t find a home for something make a spot. Buy totes at Walmart if you have to. You have two options, either get rid of the stuff or bring something else into the house to make a home for it.

3) Teach the Kids to Help. This might be tough when the kids are real small but when they are that small they aren’t going to be making a huge mess anyway. When they get old enough to remove toys from the toy box then they are old enough to put the toys back in. Set aside time before lunch time to clean. Set aside time before dinner to clean. Spend time with them doing it. They won’t be able to do it all but they sure can help and feel like they are a part of the cleaning crew.

I would suggest not setting time aside to clean before they take a nap or go to bed. This will allow the children to learn to clean slowly and inefficiently as they know when they are done cleaning they will be sent to bed. No kid likes going to bed. All kids like to eat, so make something enjoyable to follow the cleaning process so they have something to look forward to. This will help them learn and develop good cleaning habits and make both your experience and the child’s experience that much better.

4) Allocate and Assign Departments. What I mean by this is if you can really help it don’t fold laundry on the couch, or in the playroom. Put up a table somewhere and designate that place just for doing laundry. Another suggestion is turn one room into a play room. Put all your toys, children’s books, and a couple chairs in there. Try not to place your toy box in one room, kids books in another room, and drawing paper and crayons in another room. In the end this will spread your mess out all over these rooms. So assign how and where you will do things. Eat in the dining room and not wherever it is convenient. You will be picking food off the floor all over the house. Designate spots for things so that you will be cleaning toys only in the play room, folding laundry only in that designated area, and picking up food off the floor only in the dining room. Instead of doing all of those things all over the house. It will make decluttering that much easier.

5) Downsize. Our natural reaction to clutter is to make more space for it. Some people go as far as to buying a new house to fill it up with more clutter. I am not saying families have not outgrown their house or that people shouldn’t aspire to bigger homes, but you have to live within your own house at the moment. Many people buy things saying to themselves that it will be perfect for their new home someday. Or “I know this doesn’t go with our house now, but when we get a bigger house it will be nice to have this”. Though our intentions are all well and good, we need to remember that we do NOT have that bigger home yet and by buying unnecessary things prematurely will only add unneeded stress to your life. Make a list and when you get that new and bigger house, then you can start getting those things on the list.

So I would have to say that number 5 should not just be waiting on added things, but actually downsize. Remove unneeded things from the house. Do you have 2 toy boxes but enough toys to fill 3? Do you have 3 dressers in the house but have enough clothes to fill 5 or 6? Maybe too many kids books for the bookshelf? There are times when you need to bring things into the house to make a home for stuff but then there is a time to downsize and get rid of things that just don’t have a home.

Make a list of how many sets of drawers you need, how many toy boxes you want in the play room, how many kids books you can fit on the shelf, and so on. Then prioritize. Whatever is left over, get rid of it. By doing this you will be able to keep your clutter to a minimum.

Do you have any other techniques you use to clean up your clutter?

Post from: Blisstree

Top 5 Strategies to Reduce Clutter

I love my kids. Ok with that said, they should never be allowed to have vacation weeks at school. Maybe summers. I guess I could manage that somehow but every time the schools send the kids home on vacation I get further and further behind…

Sounds selfish doesn’t it? Well it is…

My kids come first. But I do get into a routine of how things are with 2 of them off to school. When that routine gets interrupted I fall further and further behind on not just the things I personally want to do but housework, yard work, and all the things I hate and love to do.

A lot has to do with 5 kids under my direct supervision. Who can really do much of anything with them around you all day?

So I have been playing outside, going on real short walks, and playing school with them…

But Monday morning has finally arrived and the kids are back on the school bus and headed off to school again. I am back to my routine and here we are. I have learned that with all of the vacations, summers, and having 5 kids where they are all doing their own thing there really isn’t routine. In fact, my routine is catching up on things I have fallen behind on. But it’s the American way… and I am proud to be a part of it.

I feel fortunate though, that I can be here at home when my kids take time off from school. Most parents need to find a babysitter or ship them off to daycare for the week. What is it like in your house when the kids are home from school?

Are you like me and find it hard to really keep up with messes, housework, and everything else? Please say yes..

Post from: Blisstree

Another Vacation Week Has Come and Gone

2. You are the boss all day long. (Until Mom comes home from the office, then you aren’t so much the boss anymore)

3. You can actually get away with singing “Puff the Magic Dragon” and even feel good about it when you are done.

4. You can treat yourself at nap time.

5. You can take time to make simple repairs and focus on home improvement projects.

6. You never forget to bring something to work.

7. You can wander around the house in a bathrobe and read the paper until noon if you want to.

8. You can spend each day reading cook books and learning how to prepare meals for the family.

9. You can move your job outside when it is nice out or you can move your job inside when it rains (or snows).

10. You get to see your kids grow up and take lots of pictures.

Post from: Blisstree

Top 10 Reasons Why Being a Stay at Home Dad Rocks

So this was a great change and happy to see it.

One of the things on the list does not pertain to me and that is “resident car mechanic”. Sorry I am a terrible mechanic. I just spent the last hour and a half uninstalling a dishwasher and putting in a new one. I still have a slow drip at the end of my water hose. The drain hose seems to be all set up nice a tight. I still need to hard wire it. For those who have done this before it should only take 30 minutes tops.

Even though I am not very mechanical I do see where that list can pertain to most families with Stay at Home Dads.

Post from: Blisstree

Being Appreciative of Your Stay at Home Dad

Now that the military openly allows women to enroll what happens when daddies are left home with the kids? We normally hear about men going off to war and leaving their wives and children at home. There is a new article that just came out about a father named Larry McCrum who is now “Mr. Mom” (I hate that term) because his wife was deployed to Afghanistan. He is now left home with 3 young children, oldest being in 8th grade.

When we talk about soldiers marching off to war, we usually think of men leaving behind wives and children.

But there are plenty men who are left behind because their wives are deployed.

Larry McCrum became ‘Mr. Mom’ when his soldier-wife, Julie, was sent to Afghanistan for a year.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a wonderful thing even though times seriously have changed. I have heard more stories just like this in the last few years.

Post from: Blisstree

When Mommies Head Off to War

But as time has gone on and now there are 4, soon to be 5 of them battling over toys I see a lot of interesting things happening. For instance, sometimes you will see the kids taking toys and hiding them. Maybe in a corner behind the couch for later, or in the pocket. My wife and I have tried to let everybody know that whatever is in the toy box is something for all to share and take turns with. There are items they may get for their birthday and those things need to remain in their room. But toy box stuff is where the battle is. And it goes on every day.

I used to feel strongly about making the kids share but I am getting tired and run ragged over the little fights I want to just label each of the toys by name and who is allowed to have them. But I guess that would be the easy way out. It is a hard job to teach the kids how to share. Naturally they are very caring kids but they are little. So the fighting and squabbling over who had what toy when is very persistent. It seems harder because there are 4 kids. So the amount of non-sharing going on is continuous.

Do you have kids and are they into sharing? Do you have to break up and referee squabbles often?

Post from: Blisstree

When Kids Squabble Over The Toy Box

• When you help your kids with their schoolwork
• When you take an interest in their hobbies
• When you show affection to your wife in front of them
• When you advocate that they speak to you and each other respectfully
• When you just enjoy being with your children and them with you
• When your son or daughter comes running to you when they get hurt
• When your calendar is full of things to do with your children
• When you calmly and gently discipline your children without yelling or screaming
• When you tuck your children into bed at night and tell them “I love you” and pray with them
• When you drive your kids to school in the morning
• When you make Saturday morning breakfast for them
• When you give your children responsibilities and chores

Post from: Blisstree

How Do You Know You Are Being a Good Dad?

There are only 2 requirements:

– Your blog’s first posting must be in 2006 or 2007.

– It has to be a “daddy” blog (relating to at-home dads, fatherhood, ect.)

I think Inside Fatherhood qualifies for it don’t you? If you know of any new daddy bloggers or are one yourself you can submit your link.

Post from: Blisstree

Seeking Out Rookie Daddy Bloggers